Lent has gotten away from me.
Somehow I wasn't really feeling Palm Sunday, although I did preach with conviction. I felt less of conviction within me.
I have prayed, "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from presence and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with your free Spirit." One of the Lutheran responses that has stuck me through the years. Yet, new life seems to elude me and us. Perhaps, I have been stuck in an ongoing Lent so long - that being in the actual calendar season of Lent feels no different.
Perhaps, part of it is due to the prolonged winter and slow coming of spring. Last Saturday it was near 50 degrees, and I pulled two dandelions that had no business being in my flowerbed. I broke down some of the still standing stems of flowers cut down before winter. I pulled grass that has invaded my flower beds. I sprinkled fertilizer in my garden bed knowing the coming snow and its melting would work the fertilizer into the ground. It felt good to clear away some of the winter debris and to see the crocuses finally blooming if just for a day.
Perhaps, this ongoing Lent in my life, is a continual clearing out of debris and a yearning longing for fresh and new life. I keep hoping for new life, and trying hard to keep from being discouraged and disheartened. It is not easy. What little confidence I had has evaporated in the elusive and ever moving mists of hope that is just a wisp of promise with no tangible touchstone of reassurance from above.
I have even flunked at Flunking Sainthood in that I have not yet finished this book and here it is the middle of Holy Week.
How I long for the fresh breath of new life and for Easter to break in and break through and not merely tenuously hanging on by a mere thread of tarnished and fraying hope.
Maybe Easter will come this year, this week, next month. I hope, I hope, I hope...and pray.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Friday, March 15, 2013
FRIDAY FIVE - TECHNOLOGY
Jan notes that she will be sans wifi, tv, and telephone while visiting parents, in-laws who are in a care facility.
For this Friday Five, let us explore our use of and desire for such items.
1. What types of technologies, like cell phones, computers, tvs, etc., do you routinely use? How frequently?
The computer/internet, cell phone, and TV.
2. What social media and/or games do you like to play? How often? On which device do you occupy yourself? Which method of social media do you prefer?
Mostly a version of Solitaire on-line and usually most days. I'm on the computer of that. I do have a Facebook page for
friends and family.
3. Do you separate online activities between home and work? Or is it all the same everywhere?
Normally, although I do check my email, and will play a couple rounds of Solitaire to clear my head after working up
liturgies or when I may need to ruminate on, say, a newsletter article.
4. Do you have a smart (or I-) phone?
Nope, I have a OFP - Old Folks Phone - a clamshell without internet or texting. Guess I'll be upgrading in the fall as
most everyone has a smart phone and there are times when it would be really handy. Just wish it wasn't so expensive.
5. What do you wish you had--or do not have--in relation to these devices?
Well, I guess I answered that in the question above!!! A smart phone!
Bonus: What is the difference between your attitude towards these means of technology and a generation older or younger than you?
Let's see, I can do a bit more than the generation older than I on the computer and internet. I am technologically
challenged by those younger than I. I don't text, I still haven't got the knack of posting pictures, and I still have
to learn Excell. I grew up when there weren't computers in the homes and had to learn as an adult as I went along. Much
harder that way than using it in school and growing up with them.
Jan notes that she will be sans wifi, tv, and telephone while visiting parents, in-laws who are in a care facility.
For this Friday Five, let us explore our use of and desire for such items.
1. What types of technologies, like cell phones, computers, tvs, etc., do you routinely use? How frequently?
The computer/internet, cell phone, and TV.
2. What social media and/or games do you like to play? How often? On which device do you occupy yourself? Which method of social media do you prefer?
Mostly a version of Solitaire on-line and usually most days. I'm on the computer of that. I do have a Facebook page for
friends and family.
3. Do you separate online activities between home and work? Or is it all the same everywhere?
Normally, although I do check my email, and will play a couple rounds of Solitaire to clear my head after working up
liturgies or when I may need to ruminate on, say, a newsletter article.
4. Do you have a smart (or I-) phone?
Nope, I have a OFP - Old Folks Phone - a clamshell without internet or texting. Guess I'll be upgrading in the fall as
most everyone has a smart phone and there are times when it would be really handy. Just wish it wasn't so expensive.
5. What do you wish you had--or do not have--in relation to these devices?
Well, I guess I answered that in the question above!!! A smart phone!
Bonus: What is the difference between your attitude towards these means of technology and a generation older or younger than you?
Let's see, I can do a bit more than the generation older than I on the computer and internet. I am technologically
challenged by those younger than I. I don't text, I still haven't got the knack of posting pictures, and I still have
to learn Excell. I grew up when there weren't computers in the homes and had to learn as an adult as I went along. Much
harder that way than using it in school and growing up with them.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
A LONG LENT -
Lent seems long this year, for whatever reason. Perhaps, it's the stiff-necked folks at the church, the wounded ones who found it easier to leave or stay away, rather than come together, heal and work through the issues. Most want to move on and move forward. The one thoroughly wounded and perhaps, in some ways, a bit dysfunctional, wants healing, only it will never be the way it was before what happened. Unfortunately, this one has not found the way to leave, which would have solved much of the issue.
This one wanted to meet with me Sunday, after two worship services, adult Sunday School and Confirmation class. At that point, I really wouldn't have much to give her, namely my presence, and any wisdom only God can provide. So, I suggested Monday, late afternoon, where I can be more present and centered. Of course, that means I won't be home for dinner. I won't be home for dinner Tuesday either due to a committee meeting for which I drive in extra. I won't be home for dinner on Wednesday due to midweek Lenten potluck and service. I had planned to leave earlier on Monday, to make up for extra time on Tues. I'm hoping I can leave earlier the following Monday, especially since the following Tues. I have to drive in extra for the church council meeting. Part-time is never part-time, and the hour commute one way and all the extra miles and gas are adding up very quickly.
I do enjoy some challenge. I do enjoy serving. But, I have given so much more than for which I am compensated. So, this Lent is feeling long. Perhaps, that may change as the calendar flips to March and all of the Holy Week services need to be completed.
Maybe its because the cold is still lingering and I am ready for some warmer temps - I'd be happy with 48 degrees!!!
I journey through this long Lent one day, one small step at a time. May the journey lead to new life.
Lent seems long this year, for whatever reason. Perhaps, it's the stiff-necked folks at the church, the wounded ones who found it easier to leave or stay away, rather than come together, heal and work through the issues. Most want to move on and move forward. The one thoroughly wounded and perhaps, in some ways, a bit dysfunctional, wants healing, only it will never be the way it was before what happened. Unfortunately, this one has not found the way to leave, which would have solved much of the issue.
This one wanted to meet with me Sunday, after two worship services, adult Sunday School and Confirmation class. At that point, I really wouldn't have much to give her, namely my presence, and any wisdom only God can provide. So, I suggested Monday, late afternoon, where I can be more present and centered. Of course, that means I won't be home for dinner. I won't be home for dinner Tuesday either due to a committee meeting for which I drive in extra. I won't be home for dinner on Wednesday due to midweek Lenten potluck and service. I had planned to leave earlier on Monday, to make up for extra time on Tues. I'm hoping I can leave earlier the following Monday, especially since the following Tues. I have to drive in extra for the church council meeting. Part-time is never part-time, and the hour commute one way and all the extra miles and gas are adding up very quickly.
I do enjoy some challenge. I do enjoy serving. But, I have given so much more than for which I am compensated. So, this Lent is feeling long. Perhaps, that may change as the calendar flips to March and all of the Holy Week services need to be completed.
Maybe its because the cold is still lingering and I am ready for some warmer temps - I'd be happy with 48 degrees!!!
I journey through this long Lent one day, one small step at a time. May the journey lead to new life.
Monday, February 18, 2013
ANOTHER YEAR -
older. Sigh. But better to celebrate another birthday than not to have one. I am grateful for another birthday.
Some days, I feel old. I look at a local church's candidate for minister - young, positive, full of energy and life and kind of an overachiever. It makes me feel old. I'm not techie. I still have some energy, but not like a 30 year old. I have been around the block a few times, I have carried the suffering of others, I have suffered two very dark nights of the soul myself, I have celebrated great joys, and have known great disappointment. I simpy cannot compete with this candidate.
Through it all, I trust that God will lead me to serve somewhere. This position has been a handful and they are more wounded than they want to admit. I can only look to God to lead me to bring healing and hope, to bind up the broken hearted, and help the afflicted. I ache for them. I ache for our churches who struggle to be faithful in such a time as this, beset with so many challenges.
But for today, I will lay that aside. I will simply be grateful for another year to take in the beauty of creation, the beauty of love, and the grace in which i live, move and have my being. There will be a dinner out! No cooking for me today! And some chocolate to celebrate! And cards and calls from my family. I am truly blessed to be here, to be serving even if only part-time in a trying situation, and that my van with over 100,000 miles on it carries me faithfully and well every week. We may be showing
some signs of wear and tear, but we still have what it takes. A little rusted, a bit dinged and cracked, but for the most part, we still run and run smoothly. Not bad for an old van and a middle-aged clergy!!!!
older. Sigh. But better to celebrate another birthday than not to have one. I am grateful for another birthday.
Some days, I feel old. I look at a local church's candidate for minister - young, positive, full of energy and life and kind of an overachiever. It makes me feel old. I'm not techie. I still have some energy, but not like a 30 year old. I have been around the block a few times, I have carried the suffering of others, I have suffered two very dark nights of the soul myself, I have celebrated great joys, and have known great disappointment. I simpy cannot compete with this candidate.
Through it all, I trust that God will lead me to serve somewhere. This position has been a handful and they are more wounded than they want to admit. I can only look to God to lead me to bring healing and hope, to bind up the broken hearted, and help the afflicted. I ache for them. I ache for our churches who struggle to be faithful in such a time as this, beset with so many challenges.
But for today, I will lay that aside. I will simply be grateful for another year to take in the beauty of creation, the beauty of love, and the grace in which i live, move and have my being. There will be a dinner out! No cooking for me today! And some chocolate to celebrate! And cards and calls from my family. I am truly blessed to be here, to be serving even if only part-time in a trying situation, and that my van with over 100,000 miles on it carries me faithfully and well every week. We may be showing
some signs of wear and tear, but we still have what it takes. A little rusted, a bit dinged and cracked, but for the most part, we still run and run smoothly. Not bad for an old van and a middle-aged clergy!!!!
Friday, February 08, 2013
RGBP'S SNEAKY FRIDAY FIVE:
1) What is sneaking up on you, and what have you been thinking about?
Lent. It starts this Wednesday with Ash Wednesday. Still have some photocopying to do for the
the first Sunday in Lent and for the mid-week Wednesday potlucks and services. Every year, Lent and Advent
sneak up on me. I plan ahead, but then all of a sudden, the season is right smack in front of you.
2) What will you have for lunch today?
What did I have? Spinach salad with ham, muenster cheese, pico de gallo, avocado and lite ranch dressing.
Had a few multi-grain saltines with it. Beverage of choice: ice water. Bowl of blueberries for dessert.
The Boston Butt Pork Shoulder is cooking away in the crock pot for pulled pork sandwiches for dinner tonight,
along with brocoslaw.
3) If you were to get snowed in for two days, and you need to hunker down, what essentials and treats would you store up?
Chocolate. Oops, we're already stored up on that!!! Probably milk for LH, spinach and Rooiboss tea for me. And ingredients
for baking chocolate chip cookies. I always get the urge to bake when snowed in.
4) Tell me a story about one awesome thing you have experienced in the last couple of weeks.
Seeing the five deer frolicking through the meadow one morning. We don't see them very often and it is special to
see them. Such graceful creatures and cute. (as long as they don't eat up my garden!!!- which they haven't as we have
a fenced in yard and they've never gotten that close.)
And reading the interview with Joyce Rupp in SDI Presence Journal - she is just such a gifted, insightful, faithfilled
person and she inspires me be better.
5) What is your favorite office supply to splurge on? (now THAT is random, right?)
Mostly paper - copy paper of various colors, post its (or similiar product) that come in different designs and colors,
card stock for projects (Lenten bookmarks for each parishioner, and Lectio Divina bookmarks for Wed. Lenten suppers).
A close second would be pens, especially ir it is a brand I like. I also have about 5 pens on me - Pentel WOW retractable
ball points and Bottle2Pen gel pens that write even when stored in a cold vehicle (for recording mileage & gas expense).
1) What is sneaking up on you, and what have you been thinking about?
Lent. It starts this Wednesday with Ash Wednesday. Still have some photocopying to do for the
the first Sunday in Lent and for the mid-week Wednesday potlucks and services. Every year, Lent and Advent
sneak up on me. I plan ahead, but then all of a sudden, the season is right smack in front of you.
2) What will you have for lunch today?
What did I have? Spinach salad with ham, muenster cheese, pico de gallo, avocado and lite ranch dressing.
Had a few multi-grain saltines with it. Beverage of choice: ice water. Bowl of blueberries for dessert.
The Boston Butt Pork Shoulder is cooking away in the crock pot for pulled pork sandwiches for dinner tonight,
along with brocoslaw.
3) If you were to get snowed in for two days, and you need to hunker down, what essentials and treats would you store up?
Chocolate. Oops, we're already stored up on that!!! Probably milk for LH, spinach and Rooiboss tea for me. And ingredients
for baking chocolate chip cookies. I always get the urge to bake when snowed in.
4) Tell me a story about one awesome thing you have experienced in the last couple of weeks.
Seeing the five deer frolicking through the meadow one morning. We don't see them very often and it is special to
see them. Such graceful creatures and cute. (as long as they don't eat up my garden!!!- which they haven't as we have
a fenced in yard and they've never gotten that close.)
And reading the interview with Joyce Rupp in SDI Presence Journal - she is just such a gifted, insightful, faithfilled
person and she inspires me be better.
5) What is your favorite office supply to splurge on? (now THAT is random, right?)
Mostly paper - copy paper of various colors, post its (or similiar product) that come in different designs and colors,
card stock for projects (Lenten bookmarks for each parishioner, and Lectio Divina bookmarks for Wed. Lenten suppers).
A close second would be pens, especially ir it is a brand I like. I also have about 5 pens on me - Pentel WOW retractable
ball points and Bottle2Pen gel pens that write even when stored in a cold vehicle (for recording mileage & gas expense).
Monday, February 04, 2013
FEBRUARY -
A short, cold, often snowy month!
This month will find me busy with a Congregational meeting, Ash Wednesday and the start of Lent, midweek Lenten potlucks and services,and a birthday. There will be much going on for such a short month.
It is cold and snowy. We are expecting up to 4 inches today and I'm hoping the hour commute home will not be overly challenging.
This morning I was given a surprise while making coffee. I looked out the kitchen window (over the sink) and lo, and behold, 5 deer were scampering through the meadow. The greys had just come in and barked at them as the movement of the deer caught their eyes and attention!! Haven't seen any up to this point and it was a delight to watch them.
Have to clean up my annual report, make some copies for mid week Lenten services and re-send the Ash Wednesday service.
So, on to the fun tasks at hand while praying I make it home safe and sound later today.
May your day begin blessed and graced with the beauty that only God can create.
A short, cold, often snowy month!
This month will find me busy with a Congregational meeting, Ash Wednesday and the start of Lent, midweek Lenten potlucks and services,and a birthday. There will be much going on for such a short month.
It is cold and snowy. We are expecting up to 4 inches today and I'm hoping the hour commute home will not be overly challenging.
This morning I was given a surprise while making coffee. I looked out the kitchen window (over the sink) and lo, and behold, 5 deer were scampering through the meadow. The greys had just come in and barked at them as the movement of the deer caught their eyes and attention!! Haven't seen any up to this point and it was a delight to watch them.
Have to clean up my annual report, make some copies for mid week Lenten services and re-send the Ash Wednesday service.
So, on to the fun tasks at hand while praying I make it home safe and sound later today.
May your day begin blessed and graced with the beauty that only God can create.
Friday, January 25, 2013
NEVER AGAIN FRIDAY FIVE -
Perhaps you have tried something that everyone assured you was SO MUCH FUN!!! and you swore on a stack of Bibles that you would never ever be dragged to said activity ever again. Was it horseback riding? Rappelling? Ballet class when you were 7?
So share with us 5 Supposedly Fun Things You'll Never EVER Do Again. You may find some commiserating souls among us. A bonus if you share pictures.
1. White water rafting - I rafted the New River once. It was a 2 day trip with
class 4 rapids. Paddling toward impending doom is not my
idea of great fun.
2. Kayaking - tried it on Lake Michigan. Needs a lot of balance. I was promptly
overturned and dumped into the Lake. I'd rather swim than kayak
any day.
3. Sailing in a wee Sunfish - once in Seminary with a colleague off Cape Cod. We
went out further from shore than I was comfortable
with. A huge ocean in a tiny boat. Once was enough.
4. Driving to Key West - it wasn't so much the driving, but the driving OVER the
bridges OVER the water that unnerved me. I had the driving
shift that lead us over bridges and bridges. On the way
back, LH drove and I kept my head in a book. Driving over
high bridges over water is a bit of a phobia for me.
5. Making my own Hummus - followed the recipe exactly, from soaking chickpeas
overnight, and adding Tahini. LH and I sat down to dinner
on a very hot summer evening with no air conditioning and
tried to eat the mortar I made. Impossible. You could've
used that hummus to lay bricks! First and last time I
tried to make it. Now you can buy it ready made at the
grocery store and soft enough to actually eat!!!!
Observation - 4 out of the 5 involve water. I love water. I love to swim. Apparently,
it's being in a boat that I can't control that's the issue. Also,
high bridges over water or watery gorges aren't my thing at all.
Funny, cruising on a big boat doesn't bother me at all.
Perhaps you have tried something that everyone assured you was SO MUCH FUN!!! and you swore on a stack of Bibles that you would never ever be dragged to said activity ever again. Was it horseback riding? Rappelling? Ballet class when you were 7?
So share with us 5 Supposedly Fun Things You'll Never EVER Do Again. You may find some commiserating souls among us. A bonus if you share pictures.
1. White water rafting - I rafted the New River once. It was a 2 day trip with
class 4 rapids. Paddling toward impending doom is not my
idea of great fun.
2. Kayaking - tried it on Lake Michigan. Needs a lot of balance. I was promptly
overturned and dumped into the Lake. I'd rather swim than kayak
any day.
3. Sailing in a wee Sunfish - once in Seminary with a colleague off Cape Cod. We
went out further from shore than I was comfortable
with. A huge ocean in a tiny boat. Once was enough.
4. Driving to Key West - it wasn't so much the driving, but the driving OVER the
bridges OVER the water that unnerved me. I had the driving
shift that lead us over bridges and bridges. On the way
back, LH drove and I kept my head in a book. Driving over
high bridges over water is a bit of a phobia for me.
5. Making my own Hummus - followed the recipe exactly, from soaking chickpeas
overnight, and adding Tahini. LH and I sat down to dinner
on a very hot summer evening with no air conditioning and
tried to eat the mortar I made. Impossible. You could've
used that hummus to lay bricks! First and last time I
tried to make it. Now you can buy it ready made at the
grocery store and soft enough to actually eat!!!!
Observation - 4 out of the 5 involve water. I love water. I love to swim. Apparently,
it's being in a boat that I can't control that's the issue. Also,
high bridges over water or watery gorges aren't my thing at all.
Funny, cruising on a big boat doesn't bother me at all.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
FRIDAY FIVE - SMILE!
For this Friday Five, what makes you smile? Remembering that Meister Eckhart said that if you pray "thank you" that that is enough of a prayer, share with us five things, memories, or activities that bring you smiles and gratitude.
1. When the greys want attention or a rub! They can be so cute and sweet, it just
makes me smile.
2. A watercolor rainbow after a rainfall. Never ceases to cheer me.
3. Being with LH, the comfort of his presence in bed next to me warms me with a smile.
4. A good joke: One gentleman recalls that when his back seized up, he called his
doctor's office explaining that he was a minister and was in too
much pain to deliver his sermon. Could they help? The woman on
the other end asked him to hold. The next thing he heard was a loud
voice announcing, :I have a minister on the phone who can't stand
to preach!"
A clever comeback or witty insight will always bring a fun smile to my lips.
5. Hearing a favorite song on the radio or CD player will fill me with smiles.
BONUS 6. A beautiful sunset, puppies, blooming flowers, plump tomatoes on the vine,
seeing my sister, talking on the phone with my niece, etc. the list
can go on. Gratitude always follows on the heels of a smile!
For this Friday Five, what makes you smile? Remembering that Meister Eckhart said that if you pray "thank you" that that is enough of a prayer, share with us five things, memories, or activities that bring you smiles and gratitude.
1. When the greys want attention or a rub! They can be so cute and sweet, it just
makes me smile.
2. A watercolor rainbow after a rainfall. Never ceases to cheer me.
3. Being with LH, the comfort of his presence in bed next to me warms me with a smile.
4. A good joke: One gentleman recalls that when his back seized up, he called his
doctor's office explaining that he was a minister and was in too
much pain to deliver his sermon. Could they help? The woman on
the other end asked him to hold. The next thing he heard was a loud
voice announcing, :I have a minister on the phone who can't stand
to preach!"
A clever comeback or witty insight will always bring a fun smile to my lips.
5. Hearing a favorite song on the radio or CD player will fill me with smiles.
BONUS 6. A beautiful sunset, puppies, blooming flowers, plump tomatoes on the vine,
seeing my sister, talking on the phone with my niece, etc. the list
can go on. Gratitude always follows on the heels of a smile!
Thursday, January 17, 2013
PREPARING FOR lENT -
I've been busy preparing for the upcoming season of Lentand preoccupied with the seething unrest and unresolved backlash of grief from an incident at the church into which I walked in as an interim. There is much healing to be done there. It is my prayer for them.
To that end, I am preparing a mid-week Lenten series on different types of prayer, to open them up to new forms of praying for one another and their community of faith.
I will need to prepare for the upcoming congregational meeting in February to which they, thankfully, agreed to hold a potluck so as to break bread together.
They also need some mission project and vision to work towards together, as well as to communicate with one another.
So, although, I have not been posting as much, I am indeed at work.
I marvel that the past two interims, at churches of another denomination, have been so challenging and more screwed up than perhaps the governing body truly realizes. Or perhaps, they do, and sent in the sacrificial Presbyterian into the lions' and wolves' den!!!!
With my star gift word of "tenderness" this year, I am trying to live that as I hold tenderly their need to heal and the woundedness they are feeling and going through. I pray that they can come through this transformed and more vital. But am not sure how possible that is.
In the meanwhile, I do what I can to promote healing, to model healthy communication and behavior and trust that God's Spirit is at work inspite and despite of us all.
I've been busy preparing for the upcoming season of Lentand preoccupied with the seething unrest and unresolved backlash of grief from an incident at the church into which I walked in as an interim. There is much healing to be done there. It is my prayer for them.
To that end, I am preparing a mid-week Lenten series on different types of prayer, to open them up to new forms of praying for one another and their community of faith.
I will need to prepare for the upcoming congregational meeting in February to which they, thankfully, agreed to hold a potluck so as to break bread together.
They also need some mission project and vision to work towards together, as well as to communicate with one another.
So, although, I have not been posting as much, I am indeed at work.
I marvel that the past two interims, at churches of another denomination, have been so challenging and more screwed up than perhaps the governing body truly realizes. Or perhaps, they do, and sent in the sacrificial Presbyterian into the lions' and wolves' den!!!!
With my star gift word of "tenderness" this year, I am trying to live that as I hold tenderly their need to heal and the woundedness they are feeling and going through. I pray that they can come through this transformed and more vital. But am not sure how possible that is.
In the meanwhile, I do what I can to promote healing, to model healthy communication and behavior and trust that God's Spirit is at work inspite and despite of us all.
Monday, January 07, 2013
PLAY ALONG - A REQUEST
So, just before Christmas I received in the mail an envelope from a church in a Western State. I didn't even need to open it. I already knew what it contained - a rejection letter about not being further considered as a pastor candidate to fill their empty pulpit. I have gotten somewhat familiar with these out-of-the-blue rejection letters as my denomination will match up candidates with churches seeking pastors and often, unbeknownst to the candidate the computer sends the church one's profile. So every once in a while, I recieve a rejection letter from some church I never even knew existed.
Now, I know I am not the only clergy who has been rejected from further consideration for a position to serve the church. I am banking on many of you having suffered through one or more letters of rejection.
If you would share with me what some of those rejection letters said, or how they were worded, I would appreciate it. I find some of them quite fascinating. Especially, the one that told me that the church was "moving in a different direction" whatever that means!!! So, now the church is considering calling a circus performer, or a Wall Street Investment Broker, or an Engineer as pastor? Or has the church decided not be a church anymore and are planning to become a dinner theatre or a banquet hall for weddings and other such gatherings?!!?
As you can see, I look for the humor in these things! So, If you would share a phrase or two or three about letters of rejection you have received I would just love to hear them!!!
Not ready to throw in the towel of ministry quite yet and seeking to lift up the crushed and near crushed.
So, just before Christmas I received in the mail an envelope from a church in a Western State. I didn't even need to open it. I already knew what it contained - a rejection letter about not being further considered as a pastor candidate to fill their empty pulpit. I have gotten somewhat familiar with these out-of-the-blue rejection letters as my denomination will match up candidates with churches seeking pastors and often, unbeknownst to the candidate the computer sends the church one's profile. So every once in a while, I recieve a rejection letter from some church I never even knew existed.
Now, I know I am not the only clergy who has been rejected from further consideration for a position to serve the church. I am banking on many of you having suffered through one or more letters of rejection.
If you would share with me what some of those rejection letters said, or how they were worded, I would appreciate it. I find some of them quite fascinating. Especially, the one that told me that the church was "moving in a different direction" whatever that means!!! So, now the church is considering calling a circus performer, or a Wall Street Investment Broker, or an Engineer as pastor? Or has the church decided not be a church anymore and are planning to become a dinner theatre or a banquet hall for weddings and other such gatherings?!!?
As you can see, I look for the humor in these things! So, If you would share a phrase or two or three about letters of rejection you have received I would just love to hear them!!!
Not ready to throw in the towel of ministry quite yet and seeking to lift up the crushed and near crushed.
Thursday, January 03, 2013
STARTING A NEW YEAR -
sick. LH ended the year with a bug and sick and I'm beginning the year with it. Thanks, dear husband of mine!!!
It was a whirlwind end of the year. My sister and BIL decided to drive in from IL on Monday. So, Thursday, Friday and Saturday we were busy cleaning, getting the guest bedroom ready, dusting, mopping, grocery shopping and picking up some fun items to ring in the New Year.
I went in to the church on Monday and LH was home. Our dryer also died just before Christmas and we had ordered a new one. Apparently they don't stock gas dryers only electric because folks are more fearful of gas. So, on order it went. They are more expensive than I remembered and we got a simple, basic dryer. Not to say, that I didn't look longingly at the Whirlpool Duet. But there's no way our tiny laundry room would accomodate the larger, fancier, models with all the bells and whistle. Technically, we just need to be able to dry our clothes!
That dryer was also due to be delivered and installed on Monday!
I hurried home after a hospital visit and it started to snow. Mainly, it just blew around, the interstate remained clean. Until I came up on my exit, where the snow was starting to coat the streets. By the time, I drove into our development, it was getting slippery and it took three attempts to make it up the driveway. And, to my surprise, the company had not yet arrived - nearly an hour later than they had planned.
So, I changed, did a couple last minute things, filled the stock pot with water ready to await the gift of dinner.
Finally, after another half hour, they did indeed arrive - bearing gifts of frozen crab legs, Eli's cheesecake, and a beautiful orchid plant. The most precious and welcome gift was themselves. We hadn't seen each other in over a year. It felt so wonderful to be in their company.
Dinner was scrumptious and the company even better.
We talked, we played Jenga and got the block tower to 34 levels. And every time it was our turn, we knew it would topple and it didn't. That went on for nearly a half hour. LH finally toppled it and I won!
There were Island Sweet and Sour Meatballs, Panettone (warmed in the oven) and a
most wonderful Prosecco to ring in the New Year. We donned our hats, tiaras, beads, paper 2013 eyeglasses, horns and clackers and with a bubbly toast greeted the new year.
On New Year's day, LH's sisters joined the merry gang for dinner. And there was ham for all to enjoy. That was after our traditional breakfast of eggs benedict (which the SILs missed since they didn't come until the afternoon.).
With little sleep, much activity and excitement, and LH still very buggy, it's no wonder that I am not well at the present. I hope to have a voice to lead worship and preach with on Sunday, plus I teach Adult Sunday School and will have a Confirmation Class following the second service. I am resting my voice. I am gargling with warm salt water. I may need to invest in some Mucinex.
The year can only get better as I will too!!!!
And, I got to see my sister last year and this year already, too!!!!
We live way too far apart. I miss my family and being able to see them from time to time. It is as it is, at least for now and in the near future, unless God has other plans for us in the coming year.
sick. LH ended the year with a bug and sick and I'm beginning the year with it. Thanks, dear husband of mine!!!
It was a whirlwind end of the year. My sister and BIL decided to drive in from IL on Monday. So, Thursday, Friday and Saturday we were busy cleaning, getting the guest bedroom ready, dusting, mopping, grocery shopping and picking up some fun items to ring in the New Year.
I went in to the church on Monday and LH was home. Our dryer also died just before Christmas and we had ordered a new one. Apparently they don't stock gas dryers only electric because folks are more fearful of gas. So, on order it went. They are more expensive than I remembered and we got a simple, basic dryer. Not to say, that I didn't look longingly at the Whirlpool Duet. But there's no way our tiny laundry room would accomodate the larger, fancier, models with all the bells and whistle. Technically, we just need to be able to dry our clothes!
That dryer was also due to be delivered and installed on Monday!
I hurried home after a hospital visit and it started to snow. Mainly, it just blew around, the interstate remained clean. Until I came up on my exit, where the snow was starting to coat the streets. By the time, I drove into our development, it was getting slippery and it took three attempts to make it up the driveway. And, to my surprise, the company had not yet arrived - nearly an hour later than they had planned.
So, I changed, did a couple last minute things, filled the stock pot with water ready to await the gift of dinner.
Finally, after another half hour, they did indeed arrive - bearing gifts of frozen crab legs, Eli's cheesecake, and a beautiful orchid plant. The most precious and welcome gift was themselves. We hadn't seen each other in over a year. It felt so wonderful to be in their company.
Dinner was scrumptious and the company even better.
We talked, we played Jenga and got the block tower to 34 levels. And every time it was our turn, we knew it would topple and it didn't. That went on for nearly a half hour. LH finally toppled it and I won!
There were Island Sweet and Sour Meatballs, Panettone (warmed in the oven) and a
most wonderful Prosecco to ring in the New Year. We donned our hats, tiaras, beads, paper 2013 eyeglasses, horns and clackers and with a bubbly toast greeted the new year.
On New Year's day, LH's sisters joined the merry gang for dinner. And there was ham for all to enjoy. That was after our traditional breakfast of eggs benedict (which the SILs missed since they didn't come until the afternoon.).
With little sleep, much activity and excitement, and LH still very buggy, it's no wonder that I am not well at the present. I hope to have a voice to lead worship and preach with on Sunday, plus I teach Adult Sunday School and will have a Confirmation Class following the second service. I am resting my voice. I am gargling with warm salt water. I may need to invest in some Mucinex.
The year can only get better as I will too!!!!
And, I got to see my sister last year and this year already, too!!!!
We live way too far apart. I miss my family and being able to see them from time to time. It is as it is, at least for now and in the near future, unless God has other plans for us in the coming year.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
SNOW DAY -
I had planned to drive to church today, as it is my day in the office, but Mother Nature had other plans. It has been snowing constantly - sometimes heavier and sometimes lighter - all day so far. Although I could have gotten to the church ok, I'm not sure I would have made it home. Making visits would've proved treacherous as well.
So, I'm having a work day at home. Writing my sermon and doing preparations for Epiphany Sunday - making star words and cutting out all the many stars. Star gifts for the folks at church. I had to take a break as my hand was getting sore after cutting out 12 pages of stars.
Christmas Eve was very good. The roads were a bit wet but not snowy. I had plenty time to prepare the bread and do some things. By 6 pm it was starting to snow and I went out and spread some salt around. I escorted a visitor up the lift to the sanctuary. Gave out Christmas activity sheets to the children as they entered.
The first service went fairly well. Just a couple of glitches - instead of the Glory to God, the song leader sang the refrain from Angels We Have Heard on High which was to come later in the Great Prayer of Thanksgiving. The hymns moved along without dragging. I gave the Sursum Corda before the invitation to communion. And the choir, those who showed up early, had a bit of trouble with their anthem before the candlelighting. But for the most part, the service was good.
Between services, the choir had rehearsal, and after some wine, cheese and crackers, and Christmas cookies, they sang considerably better at the late service!!!
We did it all correctly at the late service. Communion was meaningful with the bread wrapped in linen in the manger on the altar.
I gave away my gas money to a youth member who's dad is in the hospital with a fatal illness and who has hardly any money to buy meals and pay for lodging at the prominent hospital on the North Coast. So, I gave him my gas money to help buy his meals. I still had just enough to fill my tank.
I left the church, after locking up and turning off the lights, at 11:45 pm and headed home with the gifts of 2 $50.00 bills from parishioners, a gas card, 2 boxes of chocolate and a box of Christmas cookies.
The gift was, that as I gave what I had, I was given even more in return. The gift was, two good worship services - glitches aside. The gift was the celebrating the birth of our Savior and Lord and receiving the love, hope, peace, grace, and joy, that he came to bring. The gift was, it stopped snowing by 8 pm and warmed up some, so that when I left it was 42 degrees and the roads were merely wet and not icy. The gift was, that at that time of night traffic was light. The gift was, both LH and I, got home safely. I was blessed with gifts and riches on a night full of the Gift of God.
The wonder of Christmas never disappoints me and the miracle of that night so long ago, continues to be a miracle each and every year - no matter the hardships or grief or difficulties. Christmas comes each year with unexpected surprises and with a wonder so great, one can only be silent before it.
I had planned to drive to church today, as it is my day in the office, but Mother Nature had other plans. It has been snowing constantly - sometimes heavier and sometimes lighter - all day so far. Although I could have gotten to the church ok, I'm not sure I would have made it home. Making visits would've proved treacherous as well.
So, I'm having a work day at home. Writing my sermon and doing preparations for Epiphany Sunday - making star words and cutting out all the many stars. Star gifts for the folks at church. I had to take a break as my hand was getting sore after cutting out 12 pages of stars.
Christmas Eve was very good. The roads were a bit wet but not snowy. I had plenty time to prepare the bread and do some things. By 6 pm it was starting to snow and I went out and spread some salt around. I escorted a visitor up the lift to the sanctuary. Gave out Christmas activity sheets to the children as they entered.
The first service went fairly well. Just a couple of glitches - instead of the Glory to God, the song leader sang the refrain from Angels We Have Heard on High which was to come later in the Great Prayer of Thanksgiving. The hymns moved along without dragging. I gave the Sursum Corda before the invitation to communion. And the choir, those who showed up early, had a bit of trouble with their anthem before the candlelighting. But for the most part, the service was good.
Between services, the choir had rehearsal, and after some wine, cheese and crackers, and Christmas cookies, they sang considerably better at the late service!!!
We did it all correctly at the late service. Communion was meaningful with the bread wrapped in linen in the manger on the altar.
I gave away my gas money to a youth member who's dad is in the hospital with a fatal illness and who has hardly any money to buy meals and pay for lodging at the prominent hospital on the North Coast. So, I gave him my gas money to help buy his meals. I still had just enough to fill my tank.
I left the church, after locking up and turning off the lights, at 11:45 pm and headed home with the gifts of 2 $50.00 bills from parishioners, a gas card, 2 boxes of chocolate and a box of Christmas cookies.
The gift was, that as I gave what I had, I was given even more in return. The gift was, two good worship services - glitches aside. The gift was the celebrating the birth of our Savior and Lord and receiving the love, hope, peace, grace, and joy, that he came to bring. The gift was, it stopped snowing by 8 pm and warmed up some, so that when I left it was 42 degrees and the roads were merely wet and not icy. The gift was, that at that time of night traffic was light. The gift was, both LH and I, got home safely. I was blessed with gifts and riches on a night full of the Gift of God.
The wonder of Christmas never disappoints me and the miracle of that night so long ago, continues to be a miracle each and every year - no matter the hardships or grief or difficulties. Christmas comes each year with unexpected surprises and with a wonder so great, one can only be silent before it.
Monday, December 17, 2012
ADVENT MONDAY -
Still dealing with the unsettling tragedy of Newtown and all the lives lost.
Prayers like incense arise to God on their behalf.
Heard several foolish comments from various people, no thanks to the media, who simply cannot take a break and say, "When we have more information, we will broadcast it to you." They conjecture and yak just to fill up the time and in the end, sometimes say some stupid things or they pressure onsite responders, eyewitnesses, etc. to share when they haven't had a chance to think about what they are going to say.
How about "They were taken too early from us." Yes, perhaps, they should have high schoolers or college-age - would that make it better because they were "taken later"?
Honestly. I can't even remember them all.
But my spirit aches and grieves for the beauty of these precious lives lost so senselessly and mt prayers enfold the families who are dealing with unspeakable grief.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Advent Busy
catching up on all there is to do. Christmas cards have been addressed, overseas and domestic. The overseas ones have their German or English letter, and I still have to put English letters in the domestic cards. And get stamps!
I still have gifts to wrap and package to get in the mail.
Christmas Eve worship service is still going around in my head.
I have to run off sheets of stars on bright yellow paper for Epiphany, so that I can write words on them, cut them all out and have these "star gifts" for the congregation
on Epiphany Sunday. It does take time to cut out a hundred stars.
I'm starting to feel the crunch and we didn't even put up a Christmas tree. I still have to put up the Nativity scene on our mantel and put the Christmas tablecloth on the dining room table. And perhaps, splurge on an evergreen swag to put on the kitchen table along with a couple of candles.
I'm behind. The luxury of the cruise has now made for a more hectic Advent.
I pray for enough time, even though I don't decorate as much or bake cookies or host holiday parties or are invited to any. It's just the few simple things that are even rushed this year.
I have begun to listen to my Christmas CD's in the van, and can savor them during my hour commute time each way. That is where I will find my breathing space this Advent. On the road, like Mary and Joseph, slowly making their way to Bethlehem. So, I am on the road and making my way to the manger and the very love, heart and grace of God born in the Christ child.
May God walk with us on our Advent roads that will once again lead us to a humble manger and the One who is the heartbeat of God and the Light of the World.
catching up on all there is to do. Christmas cards have been addressed, overseas and domestic. The overseas ones have their German or English letter, and I still have to put English letters in the domestic cards. And get stamps!
I still have gifts to wrap and package to get in the mail.
Christmas Eve worship service is still going around in my head.
I have to run off sheets of stars on bright yellow paper for Epiphany, so that I can write words on them, cut them all out and have these "star gifts" for the congregation
on Epiphany Sunday. It does take time to cut out a hundred stars.
I'm starting to feel the crunch and we didn't even put up a Christmas tree. I still have to put up the Nativity scene on our mantel and put the Christmas tablecloth on the dining room table. And perhaps, splurge on an evergreen swag to put on the kitchen table along with a couple of candles.
I'm behind. The luxury of the cruise has now made for a more hectic Advent.
I pray for enough time, even though I don't decorate as much or bake cookies or host holiday parties or are invited to any. It's just the few simple things that are even rushed this year.
I have begun to listen to my Christmas CD's in the van, and can savor them during my hour commute time each way. That is where I will find my breathing space this Advent. On the road, like Mary and Joseph, slowly making their way to Bethlehem. So, I am on the road and making my way to the manger and the very love, heart and grace of God born in the Christ child.
May God walk with us on our Advent roads that will once again lead us to a humble manger and the One who is the heartbeat of God and the Light of the World.
Monday, December 10, 2012
ADVENT INTERLUDE -
We have returned from a short cruise to celebrate our 25th anniversary and played hooky for the second Sunday in Advent!!! Since this is when we married, this was the time for our trip to the Caribbean!
We sailed on an ocean liner - yes - it spent the summer in Europe and it was huge!
We were fortunate to have a stateroom with a private balcony and enjoyed every moment we were on it. Nice to be able to have some privacy and not have to be on deck with so many others. We savored fine wine with our mostly wonderful dinners. We had a night in Ft. Lauderdale and enjoyed some fine Irish fare. We had an actual beach day on the company's private island and I even took to the water - I couldn't help it as I'm drawn to water - and had a bit of a swim in the shallow waters that were crystal clear.
The only disappointment was the stop in Freeport when we were to stop in Nassau. More's the pity, we ended up with less port time in a place not as nice as Nassau. I think we should've gotten a bit of a refund.
But all in all, the time away, the warmth, the sunshine, the palm trees, the water, and not having to do anything - no cooking, no cleaning, no dishes, etc. was ever so lovely.
The stateroom was roomy with a couch and a large comfortable bed and that great balcony.
All in all, a short, but good time away even in the middle of Advent.
Now, it will back to flurry of the season and preparation for Christmas Eve. I already have the next 2 Advent Sundays in hand. So, my focus is on Christmas Eve and the Sunday after Christmas.
After running errands, doing laundry, it's nearly time to pick up the boys who spa-ed on the farm. It's been awfully and strangely quiet without them at home. The bonus was my being able to sleep in late today!
It's always good to be back home - although I could've been gone another day or two.
As it is, I'm thankful for the time away and apart and LH, as well.
We have returned from a short cruise to celebrate our 25th anniversary and played hooky for the second Sunday in Advent!!! Since this is when we married, this was the time for our trip to the Caribbean!
We sailed on an ocean liner - yes - it spent the summer in Europe and it was huge!
We were fortunate to have a stateroom with a private balcony and enjoyed every moment we were on it. Nice to be able to have some privacy and not have to be on deck with so many others. We savored fine wine with our mostly wonderful dinners. We had a night in Ft. Lauderdale and enjoyed some fine Irish fare. We had an actual beach day on the company's private island and I even took to the water - I couldn't help it as I'm drawn to water - and had a bit of a swim in the shallow waters that were crystal clear.
The only disappointment was the stop in Freeport when we were to stop in Nassau. More's the pity, we ended up with less port time in a place not as nice as Nassau. I think we should've gotten a bit of a refund.
But all in all, the time away, the warmth, the sunshine, the palm trees, the water, and not having to do anything - no cooking, no cleaning, no dishes, etc. was ever so lovely.
The stateroom was roomy with a couch and a large comfortable bed and that great balcony.
All in all, a short, but good time away even in the middle of Advent.
Now, it will back to flurry of the season and preparation for Christmas Eve. I already have the next 2 Advent Sundays in hand. So, my focus is on Christmas Eve and the Sunday after Christmas.
After running errands, doing laundry, it's nearly time to pick up the boys who spa-ed on the farm. It's been awfully and strangely quiet without them at home. The bonus was my being able to sleep in late today!
It's always good to be back home - although I could've been gone another day or two.
As it is, I'm thankful for the time away and apart and LH, as well.
Monday, December 03, 2012
HUMBLING ADVENT GRACE -
Late yesterday afternoon, I received a phone call from a parishioner. He is a child of the 60's, in his 60's, had been a youth group leader for 20 years, has a developed faith, always asks interesting questions in Sunday school and is a communion assisting minister. Each time he assists, he kneels behind the altar when I serve him and it humbles me to no end. Perhaps, because with my knees I am no longer able to kneel except in my heart. Usually, the other assisting ministers just stand - which makes us more on equal footing, so to speak. But this one, this one kneels and I feel almost unworthy to serve him, but I do. I cannot help but to share the love, the grace, the mercy, the forgiveness, the hope, the peace, the union of our Lord and Savior with him, with all who come to the table.
He called to thank me. Totally unexpected and unanticipated. He thanked me for visiting the shut-ins and those in the nursing homes. He thanked me for the study of Revelation (Bruce Metzger;'s Breaking the Code) that I am leading and for the grace and hope I point out in God's Word even in the midst of some distressing and terrible things that are mentioned would take place. He thanked for taking on a confirmation class - two boys, one in 8th grade and one in 7th - even though it is only once a month and very laid back using Luther's Small Catechism. He thanked me for my preaching, for what I seem to bring to the Table and how he sees in my eyes something of holy grace in the sharing of communion.
I was totally floored and totally humbled. I've done so little here at only two days a week. I do what I can. I honor the tradition of this congregation and denomination - oh, I do throw in a few words to warm what I experience as some coldness in the liturgy. I say, "Beloved of God, lift up your hearts" in the communion liturgy. No one has complained and I like to remind the congregation that they are one of God's beloved. Who doesn't need to be reminded of that? Usually, I don't plan most of those extra words, they flow out of the sermon and scripture of the day.
He told me what a gift and grace I was and that any congregation would be so blessed to receive all that I have to give.
What does he see that I cannot? What does he see that interviewing committees don't see? ( I really don't interview well, but once past that, folks do respond well to me.)
I am just a simple servant of the Lord, flawed, faillable, and in need of grace every moment of the day. It was ever so humbling that he would take time to call, to express his thanks. There was no other motive. (he is married and is so good with his mother who he brings in her wheelchair to worship).
I wish others would see what apparently he sees. What I have forgotten, what I, in my lack of self-confidence, fail to see. Perhaps, then I can keep hope that eventually, when the time is right, another position will open up for me. Perhaps, he was a messenger of God, assuring me to keep faith, to keep hope that I am not a total failure in ministry. That some things do shine through me to others. I felt, coming from him, who gets it (faith), that God was showing himself to me, the Great Silence, speaking through one who so humbled me. The Great Silence suddenly, unexpectedly on an ordinary Sunday afternoon, speaking in volumes I was overwhelmed to hear and could scarce take in. The Great Silence making himself known to me all over again - after such a dark night, and parched desert. In this Advent, in this season of awaiting God's coming, God has come in the form of a faithful layperson and spoken words of hope, healing, promise, assurance and yes, love. All this time of waiting, of praying, pleading, beseeching, longing, yearning, discouragement, disappointment, and serving in the face of the Great Silence, only to receive words of grace that I was unworthy to receive. how truly and utterly humbling.
I thank my Lord. I thank my Lord, for this parishioner, for his kind, generous and gracious words. I thank my Lord, for making himself known to me again. I thank my Lord,
for answering my prayer, "Come, Lord Jesus."
And I smile at the joy and gift I plan to offer the congregation and to this parishioner this Christmas Eve. I will once again, wrap a loaf of bread in linen and lay it in a manger (made by a parishioner of another church I served as an interim) of straw. And with the extra words of invitation and prayer of thanksgiving will offer to them all the "Bread of Heaven given in love for you." And I know, this one will get it - the Living Bread, the gift of God's very love and grace in the body of Christ who has come to us on this Holy night and every time we break bread and share the cup. And in the holy hush of this Christmas Eve, He comes to us and breaks open our hearts to receive him and all he has come to give us. I am so looking forward to Christmas Eve and sharing this gift of love and grace, hope and peace and joy with all who are here.
In the meanwhile, I will treasure these things in my heart and ponder them some more.
Late yesterday afternoon, I received a phone call from a parishioner. He is a child of the 60's, in his 60's, had been a youth group leader for 20 years, has a developed faith, always asks interesting questions in Sunday school and is a communion assisting minister. Each time he assists, he kneels behind the altar when I serve him and it humbles me to no end. Perhaps, because with my knees I am no longer able to kneel except in my heart. Usually, the other assisting ministers just stand - which makes us more on equal footing, so to speak. But this one, this one kneels and I feel almost unworthy to serve him, but I do. I cannot help but to share the love, the grace, the mercy, the forgiveness, the hope, the peace, the union of our Lord and Savior with him, with all who come to the table.
He called to thank me. Totally unexpected and unanticipated. He thanked me for visiting the shut-ins and those in the nursing homes. He thanked me for the study of Revelation (Bruce Metzger;'s Breaking the Code) that I am leading and for the grace and hope I point out in God's Word even in the midst of some distressing and terrible things that are mentioned would take place. He thanked for taking on a confirmation class - two boys, one in 8th grade and one in 7th - even though it is only once a month and very laid back using Luther's Small Catechism. He thanked me for my preaching, for what I seem to bring to the Table and how he sees in my eyes something of holy grace in the sharing of communion.
I was totally floored and totally humbled. I've done so little here at only two days a week. I do what I can. I honor the tradition of this congregation and denomination - oh, I do throw in a few words to warm what I experience as some coldness in the liturgy. I say, "Beloved of God, lift up your hearts" in the communion liturgy. No one has complained and I like to remind the congregation that they are one of God's beloved. Who doesn't need to be reminded of that? Usually, I don't plan most of those extra words, they flow out of the sermon and scripture of the day.
He told me what a gift and grace I was and that any congregation would be so blessed to receive all that I have to give.
What does he see that I cannot? What does he see that interviewing committees don't see? ( I really don't interview well, but once past that, folks do respond well to me.)
I am just a simple servant of the Lord, flawed, faillable, and in need of grace every moment of the day. It was ever so humbling that he would take time to call, to express his thanks. There was no other motive. (he is married and is so good with his mother who he brings in her wheelchair to worship).
I wish others would see what apparently he sees. What I have forgotten, what I, in my lack of self-confidence, fail to see. Perhaps, then I can keep hope that eventually, when the time is right, another position will open up for me. Perhaps, he was a messenger of God, assuring me to keep faith, to keep hope that I am not a total failure in ministry. That some things do shine through me to others. I felt, coming from him, who gets it (faith), that God was showing himself to me, the Great Silence, speaking through one who so humbled me. The Great Silence suddenly, unexpectedly on an ordinary Sunday afternoon, speaking in volumes I was overwhelmed to hear and could scarce take in. The Great Silence making himself known to me all over again - after such a dark night, and parched desert. In this Advent, in this season of awaiting God's coming, God has come in the form of a faithful layperson and spoken words of hope, healing, promise, assurance and yes, love. All this time of waiting, of praying, pleading, beseeching, longing, yearning, discouragement, disappointment, and serving in the face of the Great Silence, only to receive words of grace that I was unworthy to receive. how truly and utterly humbling.
I thank my Lord. I thank my Lord, for this parishioner, for his kind, generous and gracious words. I thank my Lord, for making himself known to me again. I thank my Lord,
for answering my prayer, "Come, Lord Jesus."
And I smile at the joy and gift I plan to offer the congregation and to this parishioner this Christmas Eve. I will once again, wrap a loaf of bread in linen and lay it in a manger (made by a parishioner of another church I served as an interim) of straw. And with the extra words of invitation and prayer of thanksgiving will offer to them all the "Bread of Heaven given in love for you." And I know, this one will get it - the Living Bread, the gift of God's very love and grace in the body of Christ who has come to us on this Holy night and every time we break bread and share the cup. And in the holy hush of this Christmas Eve, He comes to us and breaks open our hearts to receive him and all he has come to give us. I am so looking forward to Christmas Eve and sharing this gift of love and grace, hope and peace and joy with all who are here.
In the meanwhile, I will treasure these things in my heart and ponder them some more.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
POST-THANKSGIVING
A wonderful thanksgiving feast was enjoyed by all - LH and I, my SILs, and, of course, the greys!!
The table was set simply with fall tablecloth, autumnal ombre candles that I forgot I had bought in South Africa and found in the china cabinet, china, crystal and silverware and naturally, bit turkey paper napkins. We took a turkey pool for when Turkey Tebow would be ready. My one SIL won!!! (The prize: a piece of Swiss Chocolate!!!)
My SILs had to leave by 6 pm for their long drive home at the other end of the state and I spent the evening decarassing the bird - making doggie bags and people bags. Then, it was onto the washing and drying the dishes - crystal, china, silverware, bowls, pots, etc. I took my time. I soaked the roaster overnight. And I left the dishes and silverware on the table to put away in the morning. I was just too tired out at 9:30 pm.
It had been one of the warmest Thanksgiving Days we've ever had - 61 degees, blue sky and sunshine. We could have almost sat outside!
We enjoyed the time together with family and the day.
I am behind on my knee exercises and will have to catch up this coming week!
A wonderful thanksgiving feast was enjoyed by all - LH and I, my SILs, and, of course, the greys!!
The table was set simply with fall tablecloth, autumnal ombre candles that I forgot I had bought in South Africa and found in the china cabinet, china, crystal and silverware and naturally, bit turkey paper napkins. We took a turkey pool for when Turkey Tebow would be ready. My one SIL won!!! (The prize: a piece of Swiss Chocolate!!!)
My SILs had to leave by 6 pm for their long drive home at the other end of the state and I spent the evening decarassing the bird - making doggie bags and people bags. Then, it was onto the washing and drying the dishes - crystal, china, silverware, bowls, pots, etc. I took my time. I soaked the roaster overnight. And I left the dishes and silverware on the table to put away in the morning. I was just too tired out at 9:30 pm.
It had been one of the warmest Thanksgiving Days we've ever had - 61 degees, blue sky and sunshine. We could have almost sat outside!
We enjoyed the time together with family and the day.
I am behind on my knee exercises and will have to catch up this coming week!
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
PRE-THANKSGIVING TREAT -
As if coming back to life wasn't gift enough, God provided another wonderful opportunity. Anne Lamott, the author, was in town (nearest bigger city) and the public library was hosting a free hear the author speak and book signing. Something I simply could not pass up.
Last Friday, I had scurried to B&N to get her latest book - Help, Thanks, Wow on prayer. LH had a gift card for two years and never used. So, when he gave it to me and I knew her book was available last Tuesday, I couldn't wait to make the trip to B&N to get the book.
It wasn't until Sunday as I read the paper that I saw the article about Anne Lamott coming to the library.
I brought it up to LH, since I didn't want to go alone. The timing wasn't too great since on Tues. I had my workout at the therapy place, a quick trip to the grocery store for produce for Thanksgiving and an afternoon of cooking stock (what a wonderful aroma filled the house), two kinds of rice, and sauteeing veges and Italian sausage for the stuffing. I also had to puree the stock after it was cooked, take the meat off the neck, chop the gizzards and heart for the Boys, and clean up the mess. I got everything done and after an early and quick dinner, LH and I left for the library.
The auditorium at the library was filled to overflowing and they had an overflow room with a simulcast. Thankfully, we arrived early enough to get seats in the auditorium.
What a delight to hear and see Anne Lamott, to hear her speak, read a bit from her book, share her wisdom, and answer questions. With humor, she engaged all of us and the hour and a half flew by. She was unabashedly firm with her faith. I even got my book signed without too long a wait. I thanked her for the gift and grace she is and her writing. Even LH enjoyed the evening, though he is not a big reader.
There were two other Lutheran pastors present, that LH and I knew. Since I don't know any Presbyterian clergy really in that Presbytery, I couldn't tell if there were any there.
If you ever get the chance to go hear and see Anne Lamott, go without any hesitation. You will not be disappointed. She is honest, real and down-to-earth and projects the very same. Truly human and without fuss, which is very much part of her appeal.
Just a great pre-thanksgiving treat to savor and enjoy. Thanks be to God, for Anne Lamott, her gift of writing, her sincere and genuine faith and ability to put it out there for all to be touched and to consider their own faith, and for such a fantastic opportunity to be inspired and encouraged.
As if coming back to life wasn't gift enough, God provided another wonderful opportunity. Anne Lamott, the author, was in town (nearest bigger city) and the public library was hosting a free hear the author speak and book signing. Something I simply could not pass up.
Last Friday, I had scurried to B&N to get her latest book - Help, Thanks, Wow on prayer. LH had a gift card for two years and never used. So, when he gave it to me and I knew her book was available last Tuesday, I couldn't wait to make the trip to B&N to get the book.
It wasn't until Sunday as I read the paper that I saw the article about Anne Lamott coming to the library.
I brought it up to LH, since I didn't want to go alone. The timing wasn't too great since on Tues. I had my workout at the therapy place, a quick trip to the grocery store for produce for Thanksgiving and an afternoon of cooking stock (what a wonderful aroma filled the house), two kinds of rice, and sauteeing veges and Italian sausage for the stuffing. I also had to puree the stock after it was cooked, take the meat off the neck, chop the gizzards and heart for the Boys, and clean up the mess. I got everything done and after an early and quick dinner, LH and I left for the library.
The auditorium at the library was filled to overflowing and they had an overflow room with a simulcast. Thankfully, we arrived early enough to get seats in the auditorium.
What a delight to hear and see Anne Lamott, to hear her speak, read a bit from her book, share her wisdom, and answer questions. With humor, she engaged all of us and the hour and a half flew by. She was unabashedly firm with her faith. I even got my book signed without too long a wait. I thanked her for the gift and grace she is and her writing. Even LH enjoyed the evening, though he is not a big reader.
There were two other Lutheran pastors present, that LH and I knew. Since I don't know any Presbyterian clergy really in that Presbytery, I couldn't tell if there were any there.
If you ever get the chance to go hear and see Anne Lamott, go without any hesitation. You will not be disappointed. She is honest, real and down-to-earth and projects the very same. Truly human and without fuss, which is very much part of her appeal.
Just a great pre-thanksgiving treat to savor and enjoy. Thanks be to God, for Anne Lamott, her gift of writing, her sincere and genuine faith and ability to put it out there for all to be touched and to consider their own faith, and for such a fantastic opportunity to be inspired and encouraged.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
I KNOW HOW LAZARUS FELT
when he walked forth from the tomb, alive, after being dead and was unwrapped from his burial cloths. It happened last night.
For 15 years, I have collected jokes, Joyful Noiseletters, several sermons and a couple of joke books that I stored in a W-Mart plastic bag (double-bagged). For most of the last ten years I have celebrated Holy Humor Sunday the Sunday after Easter at most of the churches I served. I thought that at the last church-of-another-denomination I served, would truly benefit from celebrating Holy Humor or Bright Sunday earlier this year. However, they were too raw and fresh in the struggles they were having as well as being somewhat straight-laced formal Lutherans, and I after prayerful consideration deemed it unwise to introduce them to this. Although I know, in my heart and soul that they really needed to do engage in this. I remember going
out to make pastoral visits, running a wee bit late, and having my hands full and leaving the bag at the church. I also remember, the voice within saying I should make a second trip and put the bag in my van. I ignored the voice. (I should never ignore that voice - I know it is God's Spirit talking to me)
Things got busy and several weeks later, the bag was no longer in the office. I asked the custodian if he had inadvertantly placed it in the recycle dumpsters. No, he insisted, he hadn't seen the bags. Since the secretary also has access to the pastor's office, and she often did things without asking questions, although I had from the beginning of my time there and on several occasions, given her permission to ask questions if she was unsure of anything regarding the liturgy, etc. Sad, to say, she never did follow that advice and permission. I felt that she had seen the bag full of papers and put in the recycle bins.
I was heartbroken when LH asked about my file since the church he was serving at the time were going to celebrate a Holy Humor Sunday in the summer with a church picnic.
I did an archaeological dig through the basement, searching everywhere for that bag, I went through my study upstairs (which is filled with stacks of books and clothes that fit and no longer fit) and couldn't find it anywhere. I even searched in places I knew it couldn'te. All to no avail.
I was convinced that someone at the church had thrown it out and it was as though a part of me died. All those years of collecting tidbits, quotes, Reader's Digest pages of funnies, my sermons that didn't all make it to flashdrive, my bulletin covers and copies - all gone, forever destroyed. I was angry. I was bereft.
It grieved me so that whenever I thought about it, I was inconsoleable and my spirit hurt. Joy had left my very being. I was simply not the same any more.
With the knee surgery, healing and therapy, I was occupied elsewhere. But from
time to time, I remembered my loss and grieved the joy, the light that had left my life. I started a new file, but knew I'd never recapture all the funny stuff I had printed out from the internet. It would take years to make a new file. I could remember a few things but certainly not all from the services I had crafted.
With losing that Humor file, humor and joy had left me. Oh, I could still laugh at some funny things, but it was no longer the same - there was a unfilled void.
On my way to bed last night, I put my cardigan in my study, and wanted to find a pair of brown knit pants for Thanksgiving Day. I dug through a pile on a collapseable hamper - not there. I dig through two piles on the futuon and the cardboard box of
turtlenecks. I did find the brown pants buried under a pile between the hamper and the box of turtlenecks and I uncovered a plastic bag - and wondered, what was this plastic bag doing there tucked between the hamper and turtleneck box.
And glory be! It was none other than my humor file - all the jokes, funnies, sermons, bulletin covers and I hugged it to me. I was alive once more. My humor file was not lost or gone forever. I could die happy now.
Of course, when I told LH, he chided me for my mess! I took the bag with me to bed and marveled at all it contained as I looked through it and reacquainted myself with all its bits and pieces. I was ALIVE!!!! I who was dead, suddenly, unexpectedly, roared back to life. A Resurrection, of sorts. And I couldn't have been happier.
And it happened, just a day after I started a new bag - this time a green cloth grocery bag, with the latest Reader's Digest clippings (from the past 5 months) and a couple other funnies.
Just when you least expect it, when you aren't looking for it, when all hope has been exhausted, God steps in with one last laugh and surprise! "Here I am and I bring life - new, abundant, and eternal." "Come back to life, my child." "You died and now you are alive once more!" What a gift, what a grace, all I could say was, "Thank You, Thank You, Thank You." God has not forgotten me. God has come back into my soul like a Tsunami and overwhelmed me. How glorious to be swept into life!
I did pause to ask forgiveness for blaming the secretary and to ask God's blessing on her. I never did outright accuse her or confront about this.
I am alive this Thanksgiving. And when I die, I will die happy, for my joy has been recovered and lives within me once again. I know now how Lazarus felt.
when he walked forth from the tomb, alive, after being dead and was unwrapped from his burial cloths. It happened last night.
For 15 years, I have collected jokes, Joyful Noiseletters, several sermons and a couple of joke books that I stored in a W-Mart plastic bag (double-bagged). For most of the last ten years I have celebrated Holy Humor Sunday the Sunday after Easter at most of the churches I served. I thought that at the last church-of-another-denomination I served, would truly benefit from celebrating Holy Humor or Bright Sunday earlier this year. However, they were too raw and fresh in the struggles they were having as well as being somewhat straight-laced formal Lutherans, and I after prayerful consideration deemed it unwise to introduce them to this. Although I know, in my heart and soul that they really needed to do engage in this. I remember going
out to make pastoral visits, running a wee bit late, and having my hands full and leaving the bag at the church. I also remember, the voice within saying I should make a second trip and put the bag in my van. I ignored the voice. (I should never ignore that voice - I know it is God's Spirit talking to me)
Things got busy and several weeks later, the bag was no longer in the office. I asked the custodian if he had inadvertantly placed it in the recycle dumpsters. No, he insisted, he hadn't seen the bags. Since the secretary also has access to the pastor's office, and she often did things without asking questions, although I had from the beginning of my time there and on several occasions, given her permission to ask questions if she was unsure of anything regarding the liturgy, etc. Sad, to say, she never did follow that advice and permission. I felt that she had seen the bag full of papers and put in the recycle bins.
I was heartbroken when LH asked about my file since the church he was serving at the time were going to celebrate a Holy Humor Sunday in the summer with a church picnic.
I did an archaeological dig through the basement, searching everywhere for that bag, I went through my study upstairs (which is filled with stacks of books and clothes that fit and no longer fit) and couldn't find it anywhere. I even searched in places I knew it couldn'te. All to no avail.
I was convinced that someone at the church had thrown it out and it was as though a part of me died. All those years of collecting tidbits, quotes, Reader's Digest pages of funnies, my sermons that didn't all make it to flashdrive, my bulletin covers and copies - all gone, forever destroyed. I was angry. I was bereft.
It grieved me so that whenever I thought about it, I was inconsoleable and my spirit hurt. Joy had left my very being. I was simply not the same any more.
With the knee surgery, healing and therapy, I was occupied elsewhere. But from
time to time, I remembered my loss and grieved the joy, the light that had left my life. I started a new file, but knew I'd never recapture all the funny stuff I had printed out from the internet. It would take years to make a new file. I could remember a few things but certainly not all from the services I had crafted.
With losing that Humor file, humor and joy had left me. Oh, I could still laugh at some funny things, but it was no longer the same - there was a unfilled void.
On my way to bed last night, I put my cardigan in my study, and wanted to find a pair of brown knit pants for Thanksgiving Day. I dug through a pile on a collapseable hamper - not there. I dig through two piles on the futuon and the cardboard box of
turtlenecks. I did find the brown pants buried under a pile between the hamper and the box of turtlenecks and I uncovered a plastic bag - and wondered, what was this plastic bag doing there tucked between the hamper and turtleneck box.
And glory be! It was none other than my humor file - all the jokes, funnies, sermons, bulletin covers and I hugged it to me. I was alive once more. My humor file was not lost or gone forever. I could die happy now.
Of course, when I told LH, he chided me for my mess! I took the bag with me to bed and marveled at all it contained as I looked through it and reacquainted myself with all its bits and pieces. I was ALIVE!!!! I who was dead, suddenly, unexpectedly, roared back to life. A Resurrection, of sorts. And I couldn't have been happier.
And it happened, just a day after I started a new bag - this time a green cloth grocery bag, with the latest Reader's Digest clippings (from the past 5 months) and a couple other funnies.
Just when you least expect it, when you aren't looking for it, when all hope has been exhausted, God steps in with one last laugh and surprise! "Here I am and I bring life - new, abundant, and eternal." "Come back to life, my child." "You died and now you are alive once more!" What a gift, what a grace, all I could say was, "Thank You, Thank You, Thank You." God has not forgotten me. God has come back into my soul like a Tsunami and overwhelmed me. How glorious to be swept into life!
I did pause to ask forgiveness for blaming the secretary and to ask God's blessing on her. I never did outright accuse her or confront about this.
I am alive this Thanksgiving. And when I die, I will die happy, for my joy has been recovered and lives within me once again. I know now how Lazarus felt.
Friday, November 16, 2012
RGBP'S FRIDAY FIVE: THANKSGIVING SOON!
So this Friday before Thanksgiving, think about Aunt Bert and how she'll celebrate Thanksgiving! And how about YOU?
1. What is your cure for the "mulleygrubs"?
Rubbing my greys! A spot of Swiss chocolate.
2. Where will you be for Thanksgiving?
Right here at home!! With a house filled with savory scent of a turkey roasting!
3. What foods will be served? Which are traditional for your family?
Obviously, a roasted turkey, stuffing with wild & white rice, bread, Sweet
Italian sausage, bacon, turkey stock, white wine, onion, garlic and herbs a
plenty from the garden, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole
compliments of my SIL's (thanks sisters!), turkey gravy and Pumpkin Mousse
Dessert. All served at a table set with real china, crystal and silverware.
A gurgling cod dispenses ice water, white wine in crystal glasses and a
Brown Swiss cow serves half and half for the coffee.
4. How do you feel about Thanksgiving as a holiday?
I enjoy having the family over, small though we are here, and all the great
smells emmanating from the kitchen, entailing two days of cooking, and a
lovely table using our wedding china and crystal and my silverware given to
me from babyhood through age 17 by my Grandma and Godmother. Through the years
I have carved out a routine that makes it all happen. It's the only the holiday
besides New Year that we can host. Christmas is not possible - too tired and
worn out and the same with Easter.
5. In this season of Thanksgiving, what are you grateful for?
LH, of course! My greys, my family and extended family, my friends, a home,
a van that runs, that my therapy is ended, that I have a place to serve part-
time though it is, smaller clothing size, and the best of all happened today!
I went to get my haircut (after refreshing its color last night) and wore my
nearly everyday sterling silver square hoop earrings. I took them off while
the stylist cut my hair and put them back in as I went to pay. Then it was
off to the local grocery store and the W-Mart for just a couple items. I got
home, fed the boys (greys) lunch, made my spinach salad. Then went upstairs
to shower to get all the little hairs off my back and out of my hair. When
I took my jewelry off, lo and behold, the left earring was missing. I was
heartbroke. I wear them everyday when I'm home and have done so for years.
They are my favorite go to pair. I showered furiously. Changed into my
therapy workout clothes to use the gym and left to retrace my steps with
just a wisp of hope that I might find the lost earring. I went to the Hair
Place looked around the parking spots and went inside, all the while looking
at the ground, nothing. I asked if anyone turned in the earring - nope.
I drove to the local grocery store. Looked around the parking spots where
I had parked earlier. Retraced my steps into the store, went to the bathroom
since I had used it and nothing to be seen. I walked through the gift, floral
area just like I had done earlier, but to no avail. Since I didn't have time to
totally walk the entire store (needing to get to my workout) I went up to the
customer service desk and said, "I know this is a long-shot, but did anyone
turn in a silver square hoop earring?" The woman behind the counter lifted
her hand and slid my earring across the counter. I couldn't even believe it.
I showed her my other earring so she knew it was mine.
I mentioned that there were still some honest people left and she said good
people shop there. I thanked her profusely and thanked God even more profusely
for what had been lost was now found and reunited with its sibling and more
profoundly, with me!!! My spirit lifted from the pit into the clouds and I
rejoiced, rejoiced, rejoiced with a heart overflowing with thanksgiving.
So, I am exceedingly thankful to have found my lost earring.
So this Friday before Thanksgiving, think about Aunt Bert and how she'll celebrate Thanksgiving! And how about YOU?
1. What is your cure for the "mulleygrubs"?
Rubbing my greys! A spot of Swiss chocolate.
2. Where will you be for Thanksgiving?
Right here at home!! With a house filled with savory scent of a turkey roasting!
3. What foods will be served? Which are traditional for your family?
Obviously, a roasted turkey, stuffing with wild & white rice, bread, Sweet
Italian sausage, bacon, turkey stock, white wine, onion, garlic and herbs a
plenty from the garden, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole
compliments of my SIL's (thanks sisters!), turkey gravy and Pumpkin Mousse
Dessert. All served at a table set with real china, crystal and silverware.
A gurgling cod dispenses ice water, white wine in crystal glasses and a
Brown Swiss cow serves half and half for the coffee.
4. How do you feel about Thanksgiving as a holiday?
I enjoy having the family over, small though we are here, and all the great
smells emmanating from the kitchen, entailing two days of cooking, and a
lovely table using our wedding china and crystal and my silverware given to
me from babyhood through age 17 by my Grandma and Godmother. Through the years
I have carved out a routine that makes it all happen. It's the only the holiday
besides New Year that we can host. Christmas is not possible - too tired and
worn out and the same with Easter.
5. In this season of Thanksgiving, what are you grateful for?
LH, of course! My greys, my family and extended family, my friends, a home,
a van that runs, that my therapy is ended, that I have a place to serve part-
time though it is, smaller clothing size, and the best of all happened today!
I went to get my haircut (after refreshing its color last night) and wore my
nearly everyday sterling silver square hoop earrings. I took them off while
the stylist cut my hair and put them back in as I went to pay. Then it was
off to the local grocery store and the W-Mart for just a couple items. I got
home, fed the boys (greys) lunch, made my spinach salad. Then went upstairs
to shower to get all the little hairs off my back and out of my hair. When
I took my jewelry off, lo and behold, the left earring was missing. I was
heartbroke. I wear them everyday when I'm home and have done so for years.
They are my favorite go to pair. I showered furiously. Changed into my
therapy workout clothes to use the gym and left to retrace my steps with
just a wisp of hope that I might find the lost earring. I went to the Hair
Place looked around the parking spots and went inside, all the while looking
at the ground, nothing. I asked if anyone turned in the earring - nope.
I drove to the local grocery store. Looked around the parking spots where
I had parked earlier. Retraced my steps into the store, went to the bathroom
since I had used it and nothing to be seen. I walked through the gift, floral
area just like I had done earlier, but to no avail. Since I didn't have time to
totally walk the entire store (needing to get to my workout) I went up to the
customer service desk and said, "I know this is a long-shot, but did anyone
turn in a silver square hoop earring?" The woman behind the counter lifted
her hand and slid my earring across the counter. I couldn't even believe it.
I showed her my other earring so she knew it was mine.
I mentioned that there were still some honest people left and she said good
people shop there. I thanked her profusely and thanked God even more profusely
for what had been lost was now found and reunited with its sibling and more
profoundly, with me!!! My spirit lifted from the pit into the clouds and I
rejoiced, rejoiced, rejoiced with a heart overflowing with thanksgiving.
So, I am exceedingly thankful to have found my lost earring.
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