Monday, February 18, 2013

older. Sigh. But better to celebrate another birthday than not to have one. I am grateful for another birthday.
Some days, I feel old. I look at a local church's candidate for minister - young, positive, full of energy and life and kind of an overachiever. It makes me feel old. I'm not techie. I still have some energy, but not like a 30 year old. I have been around the block a few times, I have carried the suffering of others, I have suffered two very dark nights of the soul myself, I have celebrated great joys, and have known great disappointment. I simpy cannot compete with this candidate.
Through it all, I trust that God will lead me to serve somewhere. This position has been a handful and they are more wounded than they want to admit. I can only look to God to lead me to bring healing and hope, to bind up the broken hearted, and help the afflicted. I ache for them. I ache for our churches who struggle to be faithful in such a time as this, beset with so many challenges.
But for today, I will lay that aside. I will simply be grateful for another year to take in the beauty of creation, the beauty of love, and the grace in which i live, move and have my being. There will be a dinner out! No cooking for me today! And some chocolate to celebrate! And cards and calls from my family. I am truly blessed to be here, to be serving even if only part-time in a trying situation, and that my van with over 100,000 miles on it carries me faithfully and well every week. We may be showing
some signs of wear and tear, but we still have what it takes. A little rusted, a bit dinged and cracked, but for the most part, we still run and run smoothly. Not bad for an old van and a middle-aged clergy!!!!

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