Wednesday, August 25, 2010

A Reminder -

"He will regard the prayer of the destitute, and will not despise their prayer." (Psalm 102:17)

This scripture reminds me that no matter how poor in spirit, or even poor I am, bereft of feeling God's presence in this dark night; no matter how lonely, withered up and empty of spirit and heart, God will hear and not dismiss, reject, toss aside, or think less of my prayer.
There is comfort in this - and I will continue to pray to the Great Silence, even like the widow who kept coming to the unjust judge, although God is never unjust. I will continue to prayer all the prayers of my heart to God, the Great Silence, and God will not despise my prayers.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010


If you have the time, Facebook can be fun to keep in touch, share photos, and new things.
I have kept in touch with my family, (I still use the phone, mostly), with past parishioners, relatives and friends. Over the weekend, I received a friend request from someone from elementary school! In my hometown, we went to school together from K-8th grade, at least public school. So, we knew each other for a good long time and most of us went to the same HS together, although, we took different classes and got involved in different activities and eventually by the time we graduated and went onto to college we lost touch. Sometimes, new kids who moved into town, joined our classes in grade school. This friend was one of those. It was special to remember her and several of us who hung out together and played together.
Which got me to thinking about my best friend in HS. We lost touch many years ago. She landed in Kansas and I in OH. I always wrote her a Christmas card but then lost her address. She hadn't always returned the Christmas card with one of her own.
We met on the very first day of HS in the Cafeteria. She lived in the town next to mine. She was cute, with long, straight blond hair and bangs, and blue eyes. Her favorite dress was blue jeans. We discovered a common like of grape-nuts and John Denver. We didn't have all that many classes together after Sophomore year, but in Junior year, we were in German 3 together and took Independent Reading - which meant we goofed off most of the year, did reading which we both were pretty good at and pulled off A's.
K graduated and got married either during college or right after HS. I went to her wedding in a small country church in IN. I think it was right after graduation from HS. She went off to Kansas, had three kids, eventually divorced. Met someone new, got married and had three more kids. she worked in a lab. She was smart, down to earth, and had a good sense of humor.
I got married much later after gradschool (Seminary) and never had children, much to our disappointment. I lived in a suburb of a metropolitan area and she lived in the country. But I always remembered her.
Thinking that Facebook is such a great connector, I tried looking her up oon it, knowing it had been 18-20 years since we heard from each other. How neat it would be to catch up and reconnect.
I was lead to a site of obituaries and there was K. She died 10 years ago at the age of 40, just a month before my birthday and the just before we found out that my Dad was terminally ill. I was crushed, saddened, and grieving for her, her children, and not being able to reconnect afterall. Her memorial contributions went to the American Cancer Society, so I am thinking she had cancer and I never knew. I will forever remember her face and the long, straight blond hair and sparkling blue eyes and the friendship we shared at the most important time of our growing up years.
And our reunion will have to wait until I leave this life and join in the saints in light and see K once again.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Friday Five: De/Re/CLutter?
Since posting about decluttering, I am still muttering about the need for it in my house. How about you?
1. What things do you like to hang onto?
Craft stuff, shoes that I keep hoping won't hurt my feet, and
denominational magazines.

2. What is hard to let go of?
Craft items or just something I may need sometime. If I throw it
out - then shortly thereafter, I find I needed that item!!

3. What is easy to give away?
Clothes that no longer fit.

4. Is there any kind of stumbling block connected to cleaning out?
Time and the quantity of some of the stuff - gifts bought early for
SS teacher, VBS, staff thankyous.

5.What do you like to collect, hoard or admire?
Love, love, love pottery - bowls, plates, mugs, vases. I can no
longer buy mugs as there is no place in the cabinet for them.

BONUS: Tell us about recycling or whatever you can think of that goes
along with this muttering about cluttering.
I always donate clothing, shoes that I cannot wear that I thought
I could, and we recycle glass bottles, jars and containers.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

How I long -
to hear the words, the call: "St. Inuksuk, come out!" from my Lord, calling me, inviting me, beckoning me, compelling me out of the tomb of this dark night and into the light of new life, just as it was for Lazarus. I have been entombed by hurt, silence, anxiety, fear, despair, inertia, longing for the companionship of my Lord, for far too long. Or so, I think. I cannot stay here, but do not know how long it will yet last. Is there a stirring? Or is it merely my own impatience? I long to come back to life, to really live, for the joy of my salvation to be restored. Still, I wait, I wait to hear the words I most long to hear; "St. Inuksuk, come out!"

Monday, August 16, 2010


Had to give up my day off on Saturday and head back to small rural town for a Fest Day sponsored by the local churches for families. Each church helped pay for 6 inflatables and sno-cone machine, come up with 3 games and activities and provide: 35 cases of one kind of pop & 5 "registration" gifts - or door prizes.
Frankly, we only got 25 cases of pop (and there were 11-12 cases left, which we ended up donating to the Salvation Army), we had 2 games and 1 activity, and I donated 5 small gifts, which I thought were totally unnecessary. Do people come because they might win a door prize? The kids seemed to have the most fun on the inflatables and all the games gave out candy or small prizes. Isn't that enough? Do we have to bribe people with gifts of a bicycle?
As it is, the local grocery store, gave out free hot dogs, chips and ice cream.
It was an extremely hot day - 90+ and very humid. I was there from noon to 4:15 pm (it ended at 4 pm) and got heat exhaustation - splitting headache and sick to my stomach. I peopled the one game - Cotton Ball Relay. I got a brief respite, by going into the building to get the other volunteer and myself a free ice cream. I drank 3 bottles of water.
I gave out on the small couch for an hour and half afterwards running the a/c, box fan and ceiling fan!!!
The kids and families all enjoyed it - except for the heat.
To the youth with the boston terrier - you should have left the dog at home in the cool. It was too hot for that little guy with a snub nose. They can't get enough air in to cool off. Please, if you love your dog, leave him home with a dish of cool, fresh water next time.
So, the day was both a bane and blessing.
On Sunday evening my niece arrives at 6:15 pm, on her way from NH/MA back to IL. She had dinner with us and spent the night. We loved seeing her and having her stay. It was just all to short and she was exhausted from all the driving. After a squirrely morning, making coffee, breakfast, washing up the dishes, it was time to take Jett to the vet and for niece to take off.
On Sunday morning, LH returns from pulpit supplying and somehow, when he returned home, excitement could not be contained with the greys and Jett must've hit his elbow on the corner of a doorway getting to the front door. The edge of his "ouie" breaks open and bleeds a little. Not again! It was good for the whole week - no bleeding and the scab feel off.
Sunday was a bane and blessing.
Since Jett had a vet visit scheduled this am, I went with so he could relax in the van. The vet prescribed another round of antibiotics and topical salve for 2 weeks. Poor fellow, those inflatable donuts will not be coming off his neck anytime soon!! This has been going on for 9 weeks. And let's not even mention the cost!! Mostly, I feel bad for Jett, for I know he wants to experience the joy of just wearing his collar and being himself. I guess he needs some extra prayers for healing.
I, pray, that the week will be more of a blessing than a bane!

Friday, August 13, 2010

Dog Days of Summer Friday Five
SingingOwl says:
I love summer, and wait anxiously for it every year. So how is it that we have arrived at the hot and humid "Dog Days" of August, and I have not done nearly enough of what I planned to do? I want to pack in as much as I can before snow flies once again.

How about you? And what is happening for those of you who are in a different hemisphere than I, and it may be cold?

1. What is the weather like where you live?
Ughh! Hot and humid, in the 90's and the air is heavy and sticky.

2. Share one thing you love about this time of year.
The flowers blooming, the garden growing, the hummingbirds and
swallows, ripe peaches and tomatoes.

3. Share one thing you do NOT love about this time of year.
Did I mention that it is 90 and humid? Any temp over 85 and
high humidity.

4. How will you spend the remaining days leading up to Autumn?
Will be heading up to the Beach in WI with a stop in Chicago and
spending time with my sister and BIL. That's always a good thing
and time. Otherwise, serving the church: you know, the preaching,
meetings and visitations plus planning for the fall program
church year.

5. Share a good summer memory.
All were mostly good. Each summer we went camping as a family, Dad,
Mom, Sister, me and the terrier mix dog, Rex. We had a tent pop-up
with a hard top and we travelled all over: out west to California,
Yellowstone, Glacier, Banf and Jasper, Sequoia, Yosemite,Grand
Canyon, Painted Desert, the Crater, the Petrified Forest, Springfield
IL and New Salem, Mt. Rushmore, the Smoky Mountains, Florida, around
Lake Michigan, DC, Gettysburg, Yorktown, and Williamsburg and the
Ozarks, plus all the States inbetween. It was always an adventure,
seeing different parts of the country, historical sites, hiking,
and hoping we'd stay at a campground that had a pool or horseback
riding! We helped set up camp, Mom and Dad cooked inside and out,
we set the table and carried stuff in and out, did the dishes, and
made campfires were we talked and sang and roasted marshmallows.
So many wonderful memories and time spent together - the stuff of

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Summer Rain -
Raindrops dance on the pavement
while others beat out the rhythm on the roof
and all around is a glorious wet -
that the grass and ground thirstily drinks
and the flowers suck in all they can
the grime and dust is washed away
but in the heat
the steam rises
as the sun peeks out again
until later when the raindrops begin a new dance.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

I am still pondering the horror of the medical aid workers who were so brutally killed. Angels of mercy, speakers of the language, ones who had shared in the life and culture of Afghanistan. With whom had they drunk tea?
They were there to help, to alleviate suffering only to have their lives snuffed out for no good and for no reason. It grieves my soul.
I am still waiting to hear outrage from the Islamic community. Why are the Imans silent and not condeming of such violence and killing? Indeed, they haven't spoken out against any of the Islamic extremist violence. That's what I find so disturbing and unconscionable.
If it were a Christian group engaging in such violence, I certainly believe that the Christian community would speak out against that group and distance themselves from such atrocities which, of course, are contrary to the Christian faith.
And so I grieve, I grieve for these lives lost, cut short, for the ones they will not able to treat and to help, for a religion that allows such destructive and brutal violence, for a world that desecrates its life, beauty, citizens and Creator.

Monday, August 09, 2010

*Did my laundry
*Did my grocery shopping
*Cooked up 2 quarts of spaghetti sauce with tomatoes from my
garden as well as fresh herbs
*Made 2 1/2 quarts of marinated carrots
*Got my oil changed
*Pulled out my last 2 garlics
*Made dinner, did the dishes the dishwasher doesn't do
*Refilled the Hummingbird feeder
*Watered the flower beds and garden
*Rubbed Jett, scratched Jazz's neck
Probably will have another 2 quarts of spaghetti sauce to make and that's just from 6 tomato plants! This weekend will involve blanching a doz. ears of corn for freezing. Nothing like some fresh tasting summer corn on a cold, grey, bleak winter's evening!
It will be an early night tonight. I really feel it today. Course, some of that may be the heat and humidity, as well.

Wednesday, August 04, 2010


I did complain yesterday. Sorry. It is so boring to complain and usually accomplishes little. (except to vent a bit!)
Perhaps, I continue to murmur in the wilderness of this dark night so that God will not forget where I am. I do not want to go back to where I was, where we were two years ago. I just want to move forward. It seems as though this dark night is about staying in place. And after a year, it is hard to stay in this nebulous, unsettled place, this hammock over an abyss.
I just desire some movement forward, to a new place, where hope abounds and grace frolicks freely and new life takes root and springs forth in our lives. Maybe, I am asking too much. Maybe, I am just holding God to God's promises. Like the Psalmist, I cry to God and remind God and myself of all GGod has done and hold onto the hope of all God what yet do.

Monday, August 02, 2010

Four nights at home all in a row! How wonderful is that?!!? I still didn't get everything done, although I did manage to pull some weeds and cut a couple of them down. (I know they'll come back!) One of them has roots that go under the driveway sidewalk, so every year I keep cutting it down and back it comes. I also have more chinese lanterns than M & M's in the bag!!
All because my sister invited me to take a couple, which I did. I keep pulling and digging them up every year as well. They've kinda taken over by the inkberry.
Jett is still healing and wearing his donuts. I think he's getting tired of them but it's still to early to take them off.
It's going to be a long, hot week and the little a/c in the bedroom/living room of the apartment needs the ceiling fan and box fan to help bring temps to the upper 70's. The kitchen and bathroom remain hot, humid and uncomfortable that I will now take my salad dinner into the living/bedroom room. I should vacuum, but it is just too hot for that.
Meanwhile, LH is home with the boys in central air conditioning and comfy as can be. Sometimes, it just feels unfair. I'm keeping us afloat and that is tenuous at best and he gets to be home and be comfortable while I am sweating like crazy.
It is going on a year and LH has yet to find a position. It has been a year of heartache, heartbreak and disappointment. We are finding it hard not to get too discouraged and chug along the best we can, pursuing leads, remaining hopeful and trusting. In my dark night, that is getting extremely difficult to do. My broken, wounded spirit does not feel strong enough for this at all.
But in three nights, I will be back home again.