PLAY ALONG - A REQUEST

So, just before Christmas I received in the mail an envelope from a church in a Western State. I didn't even need to open it. I already knew what it contained - a rejection letter about not being further considered as a pastor candidate to fill their empty pulpit. I have gotten somewhat familiar with these out-of-the-blue rejection letters as my denomination will match up candidates with churches seeking pastors and often, unbeknownst to the candidate the computer sends the church one's profile. So every once in a while, I recieve a rejection letter from some church I never even knew existed.
Now, I know I am not the only clergy who has been rejected from further consideration for a position to serve the church. I am banking on many of you having suffered through one or more letters of rejection.
If you would share with me what some of those rejection letters said, or how they were worded, I would appreciate it. I find some of them quite fascinating. Especially, the one that told me that the church was "moving in a different direction" whatever that means!!! So, now the church is considering calling a circus performer, or a Wall Street Investment Broker, or an Engineer as pastor? Or has the church decided not be a church anymore and are planning to become a dinner theatre or a banquet hall for weddings and other such gatherings?!!?
As you can see, I look for the humor in these things! So, If you would share a phrase or two or three about letters of rejection you have received I would just love to hear them!!!
Not ready to throw in the towel of ministry quite yet and seeking to lift up the crushed and near crushed.