RGBP's Friday Five: Decisions, Decisions (deja vu edition):

Today we play off of one of my favorite and most memorable Friday Fives to blog from: Decisions, Decisions posted by Songbird last July 23. I went back to that post to make sure I had new choices for you to make. I found out -- again -- that she was then, as I have been recently, in the midst of a discernment process and thinking about what goes into decision making.


A decision from history: There is a chair that still sits in the Assembly Room of the Pennsylvania State House (Independence Hall). Legend has it that it was George Washington's chair, the back carved with a half sun. Benjamin Franklin would look at it and wonder whether it was a rising or a setting sun. Eventually Franklin decided it was the hopeful symbol of the rising sun, a sign of the future of our new republic.


How do you decide? Check out the following pairs and tell which one of each appeals to you most:


1) Sunrise or Sunset -
Sunset. We see some of the most beautiful and incredible sunsets from
our backyard with the open meadow behind us. What's not to love? The
day softens around the edges, the colors are amazing: turquoise,
salmon, fushia, gold, apricot, lavendar, grey and blue. Sunsets can
say, the day is over, let it go, see the beauty, tomorrow is
another day, be thankful and go softly into the night.


2) To the Mountains or To the Beach -
Probably, the beach. I love to stroll along the beach, wade into the
water, watch the waves and ebb and flow. All very healing, restful,
calming. Even watching storms over the lake are so cool. Ocean beaches
are wonderful as well. I think the water is my main draw and just
ambling along the shoreline with feet in the water is for me, a great
thing.


3) Coffee or Tea -
Mostly coffee. Although I do enjoy a cup of Rooiboss - red African
bush tea.


4) Advent or Lent -
Tough one. I like the anticipation of Advent, but it's just so short
and so busy. It's hard to say I "enjoy" Lent, yet the 6 weeks offers
more preparation time. Lent is a more introspective time for me and
emotionally more intense.


5) "Raindrops on Roses" or "Whiskers on Kittens" -
I'd have to go with the raindrops on roses, since I'm not a big fan
cats. I love flowers and seeing their colors and even the raindrops
speak more to me than kitties. But little kittens are very cute.
Make it puppies and you have me there. Puppies are just too cute
and wriggly and snuggly, warm and fuzzy and I could never resist
a puppy. Puppies even beat raindrops on roses.


BONUS: Tell more about one of the pairs. Why did you choose it? Difficult or easy choice? A story from your own experience?

IN MOURNING -
I am mourning the loss of Borders book stores which are in the process of closing. I enjoyed going to Borders, spending unhurried time to browse new releases, classics, religion, the bargain shelves, to get LH his Wegman calendar, Lang cloth calendars for the kitchen (which when the year is done, is washed and then becomes a drying towel), maps for the countries we visited and guide books, and all the fun stuff in their stationary section.
I could spend hours in a book store and every time I entered one, I was like a kid in a candy store; full of wonder, delight, and it always made me feel good all over. Going to the bookstore has been a salve for a sore spirit. It's not a place to hurry, but to take time, to find the right read, and to happen on something you hadn't known about.
Even when I was a child and would take the "EL" into Chicago and meet my Aunt at Marshall Fields, we would always stop at Kroch & Brentano' - the forerunner to Borders. What joy would fill me to behold shelves and shelves of books and to find something special and wonderful to read.
Book stores have always been a place of wonderment for me. And alas, they are going away. And I am, mourning.
As much as I also enjoy Amazon, sometimes, you just want to hold the book and read the synopsis before purchasing it or run across a book you hadn't noticed before. Shopping Amazon is just not the same as wandering in and around a bookstore.
It is a sad time for me. No longer will I be able to just be in a bookstore surrounded by wisdom, advice, knowledge and imagination. The Library for me always felt stark and cold, but the bookstore was crammed with possibilities and always a purchase.
So, I grieve this passing. We have a Barnes & Noble fairly close by, but I wonder how long they will continue to be around.
I am intrigued by the Kindle, but love to hold my books, and use a lovely bookmark to mark my place. I have held off giving in to e-reading.
But now, now, I am confronted by it and I can no longer ignore it or hold off. Borders is closing. Bookstores may be a thing of the past. And I have to make an unexpected trip to Switzerland. How can I justify bringing along three books - size and weight - when there are so many weight and baggage restrictions imposed by the airlines? The Kindle is lightweight and small and can hold several books. It just makes sense.
And so while I mourn the closing of a great bookstore, I am stepping out into the future and ordering a Kindle. Hope I can figure it out before I leave the end of August. I hadn't planned on making such a purchase but the time seems right.
I hadn't planned on going to Switzerland but with the death of my last Aunt, the one who met me at the "EL" station and took me to Kroch & Brentano's Bookstore, and is the last of my father's siblings and last of that generation, I am going to her memorial service. And getting the Kindle almost seems fitting.

MUY CALIENTE!!!!
Yes, we are roasting here in OH and aren't the only ones to do so!!
I am so very thankful for air conditioning and no power outages.
I was going to do some work in the herb garden - fix a tomato plant, weed some more and dig up some garlic - but...it's so flippin' hot! I still have to deadhead the other planter box of geraniums. That may be all I get to today while doing my laundry.
It is so good to be back home again. It just wasn't the same without LH.
I did enjoy some sista time!!! Had dinner out a nice french bistro on Bastille Day and we ate outside!!! Went to Talbot's outlet store and found two great blazers - one a grey boiled wool with cute gatherings on lapel and pockets. The price: about $22.00, regularly priced at $224.00. The other was a plum/raisin corduray blazer with shirring in front and back for $10.80, I can't even remember the regular price. Found some good red wine at Trader Joes and hit the Outlet Mall in WI with my sister - she found, I actually found the airy kinda crocheted cardigan, and with her store credit, and my contribution as a birthday present, she only paid $10.00 for it.
The Beach was...well...fishy! Dead alewives were strewn all over the beach washing up on shore. We raked dead silvery little fish with lifeless open eyes into piles then buried them in the sand in trenches. On Tuesday, the lake was calm and with great effort waves broke upon the shore. I was going to step into the cool water and walk along the beach. Unfortunately, along the shore the waves just brought in lake spinach and more dead alewives and not just a few that you could sidestep like on Monday. More's the pity. I did see a dead Coho salmon further up the Beach in the State Park area.
We enjoyed the most beautiful moon rises where it seems as though one cast a line far out over the edge of the lake and reeled up the moon from the horizon's edge.
We saw a fawn and doe, the little bunny, the robin mother feeding her two young, dragonflies and hummingbirds and the great blue herons who flew right over our part of the beach.
I had two days of alone time and read and wrote and gazed upon the lake. It was wonderfully restorative.
My sister and BIL went to the town's big summer one day event with several bands, crafts, and of course, fish fry mania with several service
groups offering a medley of fried fish and fries. The cold beer was refreshing.
We went to another town's art fest the next day and I found a new pottery mug with no room in our cupboard for it! And after discussion with LH, a digital pic taken by BIL and his email (I was without computer and internet service), I bought my first contemporary painting which will still need to be mounted and framed. Hope it gets here soon!!! I was really taken by the use of light color palette and some texture. IT just spoke to me and drew me in. Not too many contemporary pieces will do that to me. I knew it was a keeper and would go well on our dining room wall. I had to convince LH and I think we all did!!!
Came home with some local smoked salmon and fresh (but I immediately froze them) whitefish fillets that traveled back to the Windy City down to central IL University town, across IN, halfway through OH and up to NE OH all in a cooler with freezer packs. They made it frozen even with this great heat.
I also found a new brew in WI - New Glarus Brewing Co.'s Two Women. A very pleasant beer.
I savored a bottle of Mad Housewife Merlot at the Lake House. It was pretty good for an unknown CA winery.
I spent a late afternoon and night with my niece in Central IL University Town and got the grand tour and saw her cute, old bungalow freshly painted with some renovation and her huge garden with sweet corn, squashes, tomatoes, radishes, asparagus, lettuce, etc. We had dinner at a Barbeque joint - Cuban sandwiches with pulled pork and ham and cheese, red slaw and of course, a couple of beers. Then for dessert, we went to the cupcake shop - for Fudge Rush cupcake and she a White Chocolate Macadamia nut one. Simply delicious. We had time to talk face to face and I could admire all she's done with the house. I brought her down a contemporary artwork/painting she bought by a local painter who lives on the Beach and it will go very well in her dining room.
I had a very long drive home yesterday in very hot weather, but it was safe and good.
The boys, all my boys (greys and LH) will thrilled to see me as I them. I brought them treats TJ's Peanut Butter Flavored Dog Cookies, and some wonderful Tortuga rum for LH. So they were happy.
It is good to be home again. Time to pick up and deal with things and get ready to supply preach for a couple Sundays.
The summer storm is rolling in and I must tend my laundry.

Getting Ready -
The van is vacuumed out, the windshield is clean, shiny and new, and the dashboard and all is cleaned. Just have to go fill the tank so it will be full come morning.
Next comes the packing and it looks like it will be rather warm over the weekend up at the Lake House. Sigh...It must be me. Whenever we go on vacation, it is always hot even in places that "never gets this hot!", like the Dawson City, Yukon, Canada! Ha! Just wait 'til we arrive, you'll know hot!
I have a couple of items to make sure to bring back: Amarula and some Ewig Bros. smoked salmon.
Somehow, the adventure is not the same going without LH. In some ways, I can feel free to walk the beach and read by the Lake without him being bored. But, it's simply more fun with him and going to our usual haunts and discovering new places and things. I feel kinda bad leaving him with the dogs and working.
Yet, the pull to spend time with my sister and all the family I have left is too great not to take advantage of this inbetween positions time to make the trip. I hope I won't get too sleeply driving. I haven't pulled a 7 hour drive in years. I can do 4 hours fairly easy. It's just some parts of Eastern OH after Toledo and Western IN are so flat and dull and the with the rhythmic sound of the road seams under the tires I get lulled to sleep. Will need plenty of tunes and some M & M's for an afternoon sugar rush.
So, I will probably not be posting for the next several days and hope to have some things to post on my return.
I pray the time away, at the Lake will be healing, inspiring, renewing to my soul and my spirit.

DRY -
It's been dry. And hot. The lawns have gone brown already and it's not even mid-July! I have been busy watering either the front flower beds or the back garden every evening. The Japanese beetles are back but not in the numbers they have been in the last three years. Could it be that we have actually decimated the population?!!?
It's been dry in my life as well. I've cleaned house, done laundry, cooked and made salads and marinated carrots that last for weeks in the fridge. I still have to vacuum out the van. That's for Wednesday morning when it's supposed to be cooler. Today, the van gets a new windshield, again. It's the second replacement. I don't know why rocks spewed up by vehicles on the other side of the road hit my windshield and not someone else's. I've never, ever had to replace a windshield on any of my vehicles before, let alone twice.
I am restless. I am not a good housewife. I need something more. I am going to take advantage of this free time and head to the Lake House for some quiet time by Lake Michigan and to see my sister. It's been 11 months since I've last seen her. It's time. I have books to take with me and my camera and my journal. They will be my companions. I will miss the boys.
I will be going on a shoestring and will miss visiting some of the usual places LH and I always stop at. I will squeeze in one or two. I pray that the snakes will make themselves scarce. Every time I am by myself, the garter snake appears and disappears in the yard or in the grasses by the State Park along the beach. I could do without the snakes.
I long to be working, serving, doing something useful and contributing to the household expenses. I miss church.
Aye, there is more to dryness than just the physical. There is a spiritual dryness as well. Part of the dark night of my soul. I continue to pray and to spend time with the Great Silence. And I have a few things to read that will water my spirit and keep me hydrated for a while.
Like the River Clump Birch tree in the backyard which is dropping yellow leaves like it is fall, I feel the same dryness and thirst, thirst for something more, thirst to serve, thirst to get on with this next chapter of our lives. I tend to the dryness through scripture, prayer, reading, journalling and still it is not enough to quench the dryness.
And so we, thirst in this dryness - the trees, the flowers, the herbs, the tomatoes, the grass and I. Longing for the refreshing rain from the heavens above, that quench and satisfy, revive and cool, and make all abundant and growing again.

The Naked Meadow -
There are about 20 acres of meadow behind our house in the subdivision. The greatest expense in the HOA fees has been for mowing these past years.
This spring with all the rain the meadow has flourished and the grasses so tall that one couldn't even walk the 1/4 mile track loop. If you can even call a bunch of gravel with weeds and grass a track anymore.
We wondered if they were ever going to mow, knowing that once it gets dry, the meadow could be a tinderbox.
Well, on Thursday, the mowing began and at the end of the day, it was piled with cut down grasses and weeds.
On Friday, the serious work began. First, a machine that combed the cut mowing into neat rows, then they came through with a baler and then finally, the gleaner that rolled the remaining clippings into shredded wheat rolls. There must have about 25 shredded wheat rolls and about 4 wagonloads - overloaded with bales.
What a marvelous idea! To have the meadow mowed for hay - bedding for horses, for use in a dairy barn, etc.
The ones who did had all the equipment necessary and obviously knew what they were doing. They finished around 11 pm last night, loading the last of the rolls that look like ginormous shredded wheat. It was a very long, hot day of great physical labor.
I, who grew up a suburbanite of the Windy City, was amazed at the baler and curious about the gleaner and even got to see the machine burp out a finished roll!! Then, I was wondering how they got those rolls on a wagon and later that evening, I saw them with a lift fork and watched them load the rolls on the wagon.
Finally, a good use of all the meadow grasses and somebody will make some money selling it and we, are happy homeowners. Wish, I had thunk of it! A brilliant idea that is good all the way around.
And I could marvel at how it all works and is done!

JAPANESE BEETLE WARS -
The Japanese beetle war has begun for this year. All it took was a hot,dry day! Bag One - 8 beetles. Sevin - 4 beetles.
I don't really like to use Sevin on my flowers or bushes. It seems to speed the burning bush's turning to red and then dropping its leaves by the
beginning of September. We have honey bees, bumblebees, finches and hummingbirds that feast on the flowers and their seed. I have no wish to harm them or the flowers. So, with great reluctance, I resort to Sevin only when the infestation is great and their is Japanese orgy going on in my potentilla and burning bush.
There will be many more beetles to come as the day promises to be a very hot one and our morning rain is over.
For all the bags and beetles we have caught over the past 3 years, you'd think the population would have been greatly decimated. Time will tell, how we do this year!

PUTTERING -
Today was a day of puttering. After breakfast, I took in a pair of linen capri pants at the waist. Better now. I don't have to keep hiking them up.
Then LH and I drove to Trader Joe's since it was such a beautiful day. We found some of our favorite items and tucked them away in the cart.
I found it providential that TJ's had one last curled parsley plant left amongst their herbs. Mine in the garden is going to seed and isn't producing much. I toyed with the idea of buying a new parsley plant and there it stood before me. It was grown in Canada and is now planted in my herb garden. Perhaps, it will be more hardy because it was grown in Canada!
I pinched my geraniums deadheading them, which is a daily task. They do take tending and I am rewarded with lots of red blooms and red stained left thumb and index finger!
It is a breezy day, in the mid '70's with a bright blue sky and clouds that look like God spilled a bag of cotton balls that are now suspended in the sky.
I continue to read a novel I bought in England last summer and only now am getting time to read it.
Yesterday, I finished my dossier and will need to make some photocopies and send out a few.
I have yet to take my suitcase in from the garage and unpack it. That will happen tomorrow. Every day, I have something planned. Of course, there are all manner of things that need tending and doing. I am not at any loss for things to do. I could clean out all the cupboards (which do need it) and I could clean out the china cabinet and dust the glass shelves and wash all the crystal and heirlooms. Perhaps, that will happen before too long.
Today is a day meant for puttering. I haven't puttered in a long, long while. There is a quiet, slow, deliberateness to puttering. It is a different way to be, without deadline, without something just having to be done or someone to be seen, or a phone to answer, a sermon to write, or prayers to craft.
In the evening, I will water the front the flower beds as they need it. And tomorrow evening, I will water again the herb garden and perhaps even, give the tomatoes some tomato food. But that will be tomorrow. Today, I'm just going to putter and take the day as it comes - a gift to slow down and to just be. Thanks, dear Lord, for time to putter.

A New Rhythm -
I am slowly settling in to this new and different rhythm of being home and being between positions. I am working on my dossier. I am constantly having to remind myself what day of the week it is as my old routine and living from Sunday to Sunday has changed.
Each day, I put away the remaining stuff from the apartment. The little dorm coffee pot bit the dust. The water was so bad where I lived that even the PUR filter didn't help much and the vinegar and Dip-it cleaner didn't help and the water wouldn't even trickle through into the glass carafe. IT was only $15.00 two years ago, so I guess I can't expect much and it did last until my last day at the apartment although I had to start it before I showered as it took so long to brew.
Today, I have 3 lbs of zucchini (on sale at the grocery store) to shred in the food processor. I'll freeze it for later when I'll make the most yummy zucchini patties.
The kitchen and dining room tables need to be cleared off and decluttered and I suppose, I should dust.
Then it will be on to flesh out my statement of faith for my dossier and it will be done!!!
I weeded the herb garden where the chamomile grew wildly unrestricted and it was thinned out and the tomatoes were staked. There are three small tomatoes already on the plants. I cut down the unruly chives. I pulled grasses and weeds from the flower beds - some rather prickly things and thinned out the pincushions which the honey bees, bumblebees enjoy and the finches feast on for the seeds. The Dr. Suess flowers (bee balm) are blooming and the Coneflowers will soon be blooming as well as the Butterfly bush. Everything has grown tall, taller than last year. The potentilla bushes are scraggly and all over the place. Need to trim them next Spring. The Chinese Lanterns are profuse and I could pluck them when they turn orange and sell them for decorations!!! I pulled them all out last fall and they came back even more numerous this spring. It all started out with 2 little, weak stems!!! Be ye forewarned if you think of planting them!
So, it is a new, unsettling, different rhythm. I am not used to being without a paycheck or without serving somewhere.
The greys are happy that I am home and seem rather content with the situation, sighing, snoozing, and getting attention whenever they seek it out. However, my being home all the time does not contribute to the kibble in their dishes or cookies in the pantry.
The sooner my dossier is done and circulating the greater my hope.
I suppose I ought to enjoy and savor this breathing space and being home. If only I didn't feel so guilty over not working!
God gives us grace sufficient for each day and that is how I expect to live - day by day, one day at a time, in faith and in trust.

JETT UPDATE -
Jett got his stitches removed Tuesday and the elbow is looking pretty good. He's still on antibiotics and the thankfully, we can no longer call him, Bigfoot!!! He's got a greyhound foot and lanky leg again!!
He's put on a couple more pounds slowly and that is good, too. We are so thankful that he is doing so well. Of course, Jett is still having to wear his two inflatable donuts on his neck to prevent him from licking the wound.
He'll feel even better when he won't need to wear them any more.
I have been working on my dossier and there's still more to update. Tomorrow will be a good day for that.
I spent 6 hours cleaning house today. Vacuuming door and window frames, corners from ceiling to floor and baseboards which LH neglected to do during my year and a half away from home most of the week. I am exhausted. I still have to dust and I need to vacuum the great room lamp shade. But it looks far more shiny and clean. I guess I forgot that two humans and two dogs can create such dirt. The shower stall is still a work in progress, but more clean than it was. The hard water here is always a problem. And LH forgets things like wiping down the top of the shower frame and door and the shower head. I suppose it takes a woman's touch to do those things.
I did a bit of shopping yesterday, which I haven't done in a while and really can't afford. But I did find a few things and the one t-shirt that matches the broomstick skirt (which were all on sale, plus an extra percent off coupon)and when I returned home much later in the afternoon and was cutting off tags to wash, didn't the t-shirt still have the plastic security tag on it. The darn salesclerk wasn't paying attention and forgot to check all the pieces and remove it. Now, I have make another 20 minute trip to the store (and the gas) and have it removed. Not my mistake, but it will cost me extra. It seems as though you have to watch each clerk whether at the grocery store ( not getting overcharged or getting the correct change back) and the other store clerks and make sure they do their job. Honestly, I, as a customer, shouldn't have to worry about such things and yet, I find I do. Whenever, I'm not paying attention to the clerk something goes wrong. Customer service is just atrocious in America. No one wants to calaim responsibility for making a mistake or missing up or not knowing the answer and the customer or client has to do all the leg work and checking, and double-checking. Certainly, there is much room for improvement in customer service in all aspects of the American life. Corporate, retail America, wake up and give us the customer service we deserve by providing you business. We should be treated well, not ignored because two employees are having a conversation about plans for the weekend and not acknowledging a customer's presence, or making mistakes that add extra time and effort not on the clerk, but on the customer. Some clerks just don't pay attention, or really care about what they are doing. It all just irks me.
Maybe, I'm just cranky from cleaning house all day!!!
At any rate, it's an extra trip I hadn't planned on making tomorrow when I could have been working on my dossier. But, it will get me out of the house for a bit tomorrow. So, perhaps, there is that grace in the whole thing.

HOME -
I am glad to be home again. I have unpacked most everything, except one suitcase and few things still on the dining room table. The greys are delighted to have me home with them. Bigfoot Jett is doing well despite his still swollen lower leg and foot. It appears to have gone down some, but he still has a bigfoot. Tomorrow he gets his stitche removed. I pray that Jett is healing well.
I am thankful that it didn't rain on Thursday and Friday as the meterologists predicted. Which meant that all the many trips up and down the rickety wooden steps on Thursday with clothing and bedding, and LH's and my trips on Friday with toiletries and kitchen stuff all remained dry.
I did much laundry and put all the extra bedding and clothing away.
It was strange to be home yesterday and not make the trip to the church town on Saturday after dinner. I have to get used to this new rhythm of not serving a church.
I spent the morning on the frustrating task of updating my dossier which didn't save the first time and I had to rewrite most of the narrative. Then I hit the wrong button and submitted the incomplete, darn thing.
AAAGHHHHH....
Can they make it more complicated and frustrating? They also changed my number and password.
I think I'll let it go for awhile and then return to it or call headquarters and see how the can fix it for me to continue working on it.
At this rate it will take a week to get it done, especially if it doesn't save properly and I have to keep retyping the same darn info over and over again. What a complete waste of time!
As long as it takes to receive a call, you should only have to update your dossier every other year.
Today, I will be making macaroni salad for dinner. It's been a couple years since I made any and have a real taste for it. Homemade is much better than the stuff you buy at the gocery store.
We will be havng to live very lean without much income.
I did finish, The Elegance of the Hedgehog, which I started last year!
Now, I can move on to a couple other books that have been waiting in the wings.
This will be a week of adjustment and back to regular house cleaning on days when LH is at the church so he is not underfoot! That will come Thursday!
Just glad to be home and will NOT miss the apartment where I roasted in the summer and froze in the winter.

Good-byes -
It has been a week of good-byes and folks here have been so gracious and loving. Indeed, they have brought me to tears. I will miss them, but I also know, it is time for them to move forward and they have a great, young pastor coming in, and they will be in God's good hands. The good-byes are still difficult and hard. They have welcomed me into their home, homes and lives. One 95 year old, cried and said, "But I wanted you to do my funeral service"!!!! I take it as a compliment that she trusted me to provide comfort and care for her family. I, of course, am greatly relieved that she is still doing well, despite some health issues and is still sharp. I hope she'll be around for a few more years.
So, I leave with some very special gifts and a heart and spirit warmed in the grace of Christian love. Sometimes I feel as if it is more than I deserve. I have felt more loved and cared for in all my many interims than I ever did in my installed position. Go figure. Perhaps, the affirmation is God telling me that being a wandering Aramean is not so bad. Afterall, didn't Jesus and Paul spend their days roaming the countryside?
But, the good-byes are the most difficult for me, even though I am often glad to leave certain things, challenges, people, behind.
And I know the cycle will be begin again, to get to know a new place, people and the community of faith they are. And to pray for God's help and grace to meet the challenges, and to guide them through a time of uncertainty as a non-anxious presence.
One last Session meeting this evening, and I am free to go back home (well, after I load up the van, tomorrow). But, a part of this Body of Christ will be ever with me and I will bear the imprint of their love upon my soul.
I give thanks to God for them, for being blessed to serve here, for such grace and love in the midst of my dark night. God is indeed with us, even in our dark nights and loves us. Thank you, dear Lord.

BIGFOOT JETT UPDATE -
Jett still has bigfoot. It hasn't gotten any worse. The bandage is not to tight since I can get my finger or two fingers between his leg and bandage. He did barf up a little last night. LH will monitor him today.
We did get some sleep the next night. Apparently, the Xanax helped him to relax. It took pretty quick effect, but that silly grey fought it for two hours. His hips were swaying, he was unsteady on his feet, he stumbled around, but would he lay down and stay there? NO! Finally, after two hours of this, he did succomb to rest. He's been good ever since and we haven't had to give him anymore.
Maybe, I may need some after my last day here on Wednesday. So, much anxiety about what will come next and preparing myself for something new.
With interim ministry it is always about endings and begininnings and endings and beginnings....
My last Sunday was good, even if the congregation was a bit subdued. They had a farewell coffee hour with homemade blueberry muffins and cookies, and of course, I was the last one there!!!! I left with a few touching gifts and it was hard to say good-bye. What a great community of faith, but they are so ready to move forward and I am not the one to take them there but the new pastor coming in will. So I leave them in God's good hands.
I will not miss the apartment. I will not miss Saturday's leaving home after supper to return. I will not miss the hour drive. I will not miss the cold of the apartment with spaceheaters that cost an arm and a leg to heat during the winter. I will not miss the unbearable heat in the summer - especially this year since I sold my wimpy air conditioner from last year.
Three fans didn't do much and I drove home on the really hot nights.
One new tire and two new windshields later, I am glad to return home.
Ministry is lonely enough, difficult enough, without being able to sleep in one's own bed, in one's own home, with spouse and furry companions. It has been emotionally very hard on me these 19 months. I struggle with separation, probably because we spent our first year of marriage separated by 400 miles, an 8 hour drive, and only seeing each other once or twice a month. That was enough to last me a lifetime. AT least this time, if I really needed to go home, it was possible.
It is time for me to move on to the next thing God has in store. I am trusting and praying that something will come before too long.
Three more nights, then clean out the apartment and I'm home again!!!
Thanks be to God.

BIGFOOT JETT -
LH had to take Jett to the Vet on Thurs. afternoon. We knew his leg was swollen from the surgery and it looked bigger than last time. So, LH gathered him up and drove to the Vet. They took his bandage off and said it was good we hadn't waited any longer.
So, Jett had one greyhound leg and foot and one that looked like it belonged to an English Mastiff!!! Ergo, Bigfoot Jett!!
The swelling went down and looked much better this morning, after an awful night of Jett sleeping in the grass and LH getting me up at 3 am and he going to bed. I slept on the couch and checked on Jett outside from time to time.
Finally, at nearly 6 am, Jett came in. His wound, unbandaged since the trip to the Vet, had a little pooling of blood. Finally, he laid down in the dog bed.
Today, the regular Vet appointment. Jett had a blood blister which they squeezed, cleaned the wound and rebandaged it. Back in the van, up the stairs into the house. He has been anxious ever since: lying down for 20 minutes, getting up , whining, drooling, etc. So, I called the Vet and took her up on the offer for a Xanax prescript which I just picked up. Waiting for LH to return from the store with some KauKauna cheese which is the only thing Jett will take medicine in.
Let's see, that makes 5 visits to the Vet and or Animal Hospital in 5 days. We'll keep the tally going. Hoping for a quiet, healing week with Jett.
Maybe, we can all sleep tonight. That is our prayer and our hope.

I am disturbed -
well, probably in more ways than just this one!
Flipping through the TV channels on some evenings, I've run across TLC's
Extreme Couponing. Isn't this just another show on hoarding? Why are people stockpiling all manner of things - toiletries, peanut butter, cleaning supplies to the point that they could open up their own store? For what purpose? Some of the items they stockpile have expiration dates - like toothpaste, candy and pop.
If you're going to keep couponing because you like to get a deal, don't just stockpile, give it to the local foodbank or pantry, or women's shelter. It's more than you could possibly use in two years.
You, couponing people, keep referring to the thrill of the deal. Then what's the point in hoarding all that stuff and letting it go bad.
One was a couple with no children. Another lived in a nice house where at least one bedroom and more looked like a warehouse of cleaning supplies, liters of pop, etc.
Others spend hours pouring over coupons, paper and on-line, and planning their shopping strategy with 5 or more shopping carts filled to overflowing.
Another woman confessed that she cancelled out on family plans, time with sister, a luncheon date, etc. to do this coupon shopping. It is an unhealthy obessession and you are in need of therapy and rehab. You are missing out of life and relationships. Seek help!
And, of course, because of you, when I go to buy my single tube of toothpaste with my coupon, the shelf is empty, because you had to buy an enormous quantity to sock away in your basement or rooms.
I find it so very disturbing that you feel compelled to stockpile and hoard to the point that you could open your own store.
Get a life, spend time with your family, volunteer, donate your stockpiles that will expire to those in need. You'll feel even better.

Spiritually speaking, I can only refer to Jesus' words that are so true -
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal; but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:19-21)
I hope you wake up before your life is over and realize what you have missed and how much you could have done with your life, your gifts, your stockpiles of Snickers, Seven-Up, Tide and Lysol.
Although TLC probably airs this to raise awareness, it's merely sad and disturbing and I cannot watch it.
Surely, I am not the only one.

Jett Update -
Jett got through surgery well. The Vet was able to carve out some nodules.
He is recovering at the Clinic until tomorrow. Thanks be to God!
It will be hard to wait until tomorrow to see him, but I know it's for the best for him and for us.
Thanks for any and all prayers.

SURGERY -
Today Jett is having surgery, again, on the same left elbow. I dropped him off early this morning and sometime today, the Vet will carve out some more onerous tissue and stitch him back together.
We are requesting that he spend the night and get more anesthesia out of him before coming home. It was such a nightmare 7 months ago. He was up all night not knowing what to do with himself. Couldn't stand for long, yet too wired, upset, too sleep, had to go out which took all his energy and then flopped down in the grass for 20 minutes before he had the strength to stand up again and then I had to lift his hind end up the two steps into the house. I was up 24 hours and not my best self. I can't do that again.
I just pray all will go well and my dear, lovely Jett will have a few more months with us and grace our lives with his handsome face and good looks, his elegant being, and just the beautiful grey that he is.

RGBP'S FRIDAY FIVE: SUMMER RERUNS

Summer Reruns Friday Five
It's that time of year when the only new things on television are music/dance competitions (the 21st century answer to variety shows?). Yes, it's the season of reruns.

This week the clock turned back to last fall and the Glee kids went back to school and still got "slushied," and Michael hired his nephew on The Office, which was not something even he would be likely to repeat.

In honor of this annual Time Warp, please share five things worth a repeat. These could be books, movies, CDs, recipes, vacations, or even TV shows.

1. Reruns of "Frasier" still make me laugh. The witty erudite comedy never
fails to amuse me. I have missed the show.

2. "Under the Tuscan Sun" will undoubtedly be popped into the DVD player
again sometime. One of my favorites.

3. Asian Cole Slaw will be on the menu several times during the summer.
Refreshing, cool, and goes well with hot dogs, hamburgers, etc.

4. Praying I can make a trip to Chicago/Wisconsin to the Lake House to
see my sister. We usually go every summer for a week. Without my working
it will be a real a challenge to be able to go. Perhaps, I may have to
go by myself without LH. And it just won't be the same.

5. Hoping to have enough tomatoes to make 4 quarts of lasagna sauce again
this year and using the fresh herbs in my garden.

HARD TO BELIEVE -
Hard to believe that I'm down to my last two Sundays here in my interim.
The end has come way too fast. But needed to come. I wander off into the unknown and back home. Have to do transitional health care. I try not to get too anxious, but it is really difficult. I cannot believe that we are in such a situation. It is like living into your worst nightmare and live into it we must. I am trying to be faithful and meet God here, but the great Silence is still silent and I struggle and wrestle in hope, and faith, doubt and trust, disappointment and anger, fear and grace...
I pray that something will work out soon for us and that we will not have to be parted too far for too long. I simply can't do that again for greater distance or longer time.
I remind the church folks of God's providential care for bringing us together and how primed they for their new pastor - all set to go, new youth group forming, new cooking class for the community, choir restarted with new choir director, 2 baptisms, and 2 reaffirmations of faith in the last two weeks, and the exciting adventure in ministry and mission that is before them.
And for me, there is nothing but a yawning black hole of emptiness and nothingness. I will be brave and trusting in God, the Great Silence, as I step into this black hole of my future...

It's Back...
Jett has developed another sore in the same area, left elbow where the other sore developed last year. It started out very small, like a scratch and has gotten bigger. The Vet thinks she can carve it out again and stitch it back up.
It's been 7 months since Jett's diagnosis of hemangiosarcoma. He's done really well. I hope this next surgery will give him another 5 months or so. The Vet didn't feel anything on the spleen, usually that's where the blood tumor develops.
So another round with surgery and recuperation. And my beautiful, elegant grey is back to wearing those blue inflatable donuts around his neck.
I'm praying he'll have a few more good months with us.

What I Got -
what I actually got was Sinusitis
what I actually got was called to the hospital 45 minutes after getting home and feeling really cruddy and out of it.
what I actually got was a trip to the hospital for a parishioner who coded and was brought back
what I actually got was a new doctor's appointment the next day to replace
the one I had to cancel
what I actually got was to have prayer with the family, to hear the heart
cath went well and that I was contagious and not allowed into see the patient
what I did was call the past pastor (retired) to see the patient
what I did was wait for said pastor while family went up to the patient's
floor
what I got was home for a quick little dinner and into my comfy clothes
what I got was another call from the hospital that the patient recoded and
wouldn't recover
what I did was change, race down the hospital, and was with the patient
and family until after 9 pm when the patient was welcomed to her eternal home with God
what I got was a quick exam by my doc, and a prescription
what I got was wait for said prescriptions at the pharmacy
what I got was an afternoon of phone calls to secure an organist, make
arrangements with the family on Sat., and a call to the dinner coordinator
what I got was a short nap out of exhaustation and being sick
what I got was a full Sat. of family meeting, putting the service together, and the prayer service, squaring things with the organist
what I got was a subdued congregation on Sunday morning knowing they had
lost a beloved member
what I got was to leave by noon and arrive home for a quick nap before writing the sermon that was ever so hard to write
what I got was a prayer service for the family at the funeral home in the
morning, and a huge memorial service that afternoon at the church, overflowing sanctuary, dinner for 80 that somehow fed over 100, thanks to all the great casseroles that held out longer than the meat tray (miracle of fishes and loaves!)
what I got that evening was falling asleep on the sofa while watching TV
The committal service was today and I still have a cough and congestion.
My whole face hurt last Thursday from the sinusitis.
I pray for a quiet couple weeks to pack up and ride off into the sunset.
Thankfully, as difficult as the service was, it all went fairly well, barring losing power twice that morning in the middle of printing bulletins.
Pray that the funerals, deaths will now be ended for me. I cannot. do. another. I am spent.

I'VE GOT IT!
Yup, an upper respiratory infection/bronchitis. Too bad I can't be seen til after 3 pm. I haven't been ill in 2 years and wham, I did too much, and didn't get enough sleep and lowered my immune system.
I will head home soon. Not worth much today. Trying hard not to fall asleep or to cough too much.
Just want to curl up in bed.

WHAT A WEEKEND!
WHEW!!
It has been a whirlwind of activity.
On Friday, I did my usual grocery shopping and banking. Forgot the dog biscuits and had to go back for them and a bag of mulch. Mulched the trees out front, planted my wee tomatoe plants, did laundry, bagged up old catalogues and put them in garbage, prepared the guest bedroom - dusted, made the beds and cleaned the microwave, stove, fridge and dishwasher. Ran to the store to buy new, bigger, softer, fluffier towels for the guests and a new pillow to replace the ancient flat one. Also, had to launder the towels before hanging them up in the guest bath.
Got up early Sat, to drive to my FIL's memorial service. Actually, LH drove. Met family, but as usual, LH and SIL's didn't introduce me to a couple cousins. I guess I was to simply do a face scan and know who they were!!! I've perhaps, met them once in my life during the almost 24 years I've been married to LH and all the people I've met during my time of ministry.
Thankfully, the service went very well, in contrast to the dismal funeral service of LH's Mom 12 years ago. Good to see colleagues of my FIL there, doctors and SAR members. The president of the local chapter of the SAR spoke, LH read an e-mail from his Dad's friend, and I wrote and read a piece about my FIL, as a gift to the family, and one church member spoke. The Lutheran clergywoman handed the service and preached a good sermon - not too long, not too short and with some knowledge of my FIL.
Afterwards, there were sibling photos and a luncheon in the church social hall. Didn't get to spend much time with SIL's, who also had 3 friends there, and felt they should spend their time with BIL and wife who they hadn't seen in 12 years.
Had to declutter the kitchen table from old mail and catalogues and clean it when I got home. Had to clean the half bath and LH mowed on Sunday after lunch, well, just the front lawn. He never mows on a Sunday!
But with it raining every day and warmer weather and a bit of sun, the grass just grows like crazy. I swept the driveway and the sidewalk to the front steps.
Made a vege dip on Sat. and brownies on Sunday. Washed and cleaned veges for said dip.
Had a wonderful visit with BIL and wife, and the rain held off so we could grill.
It turned cold and rainy for our Amish country trip, and for the City on the North Coast Art Museum visit.
All in all, it went by so swiftly and we could have used another day together. I cooked and did the dishes every night, made eggs one morning, and pancakes the next. I was busy. A regular Martha!!!
Now I feel it. The scratchy rawness at the back of the throat, nasal drip and sneeziness yesterday. And that tired, just don't feel real good, feeling. I haven't been sick in two years and now, bam. Maybe, it won't be much of anything.
The brothers did pour over family albums and that was good for them.
I look forward to a more quiet day on Friday this week!

Saddened -
I find that with the voting in for Amendment 10A, there is no joy, only sadness. Sadness for my denomination to give in to the prevailing culture, and to allow for its being ripped apart. With the approval of Amendment 10A, the church will change forever.
And it is not an exciting change full of the Spirit's power.
No one has "won" with the passage of this Admendment. Those who think they won - may see a much smaller denomination and an exodus of local churches. Those who feel they have "lost" and leave thinking they in end will have really "won", will be a part of us who will always be missing.
I feel only a deep, profound grief and sadness within me for my church, my denomination. A sense of we know not what we do.
I pray mightily that somehow, someway, God will show and lead us to find a way we can live together. Perhaps, I am merely a dreamer or an idealist. But my hope, my prayer is that we can live together even though we don't agree. But that's not the Presbyterian way. We have split and come together more times than I can count. Splitting is such a grievious thing for we are torn and rent from one another -forgetting that Christ prayed that we would be made one as Jesus and God are one.
So, I continue to pray for us all. I am not ready to leave my denomination.
And have lived in tension with this issue for most of my ordained ministry and still have not been able to write off one or the other side. I still grapple with scripture, Christ's call, the gifting of Holy Spirit, and the vows that we have upheld and I have tried to live faithfully.
I know most of the arguments, I have studied study papers of this denomination and another's, I have not bought into all the biblical interpretation that at times takes leaps I cannot, and I know grace, forgiveness, mercy, and the love of my Lord. I know that we all sin and fall far short. It has been and will continue to be a stumbling block. And even knowing and praying through all this over the years, I cannot concede one side over the other.
For now, all I know is a great sadness.

QUIET ENDING -
I thought I'd end this interim quietly. Preach my good-bye sermon the week before my last Sunday and then celebrate Pentecost with Confirmation and ride off into the sunset to whatever God will unfold.
Not to be. I received a call from one who hasn't been in church for years and who wants to baptize her toddler and rejoin the church. So, on May 29th - a usually quiet holiday weekend, we will reaffirm her faith and baptize her child. Then, June 5th will be Communion Sunday, Grad Recognition, and my "good-bye" sermon. Followed by Pentecost with Baptism and Confirmation (one youth to be baptized first, then confirmed). I will not be leaving quietly!
But, I will be leaving with 4 new members added to the rolls. Which makes up, in part, for all the ones whose funerals I've officiated in my 19 1/2 months here.
I will certainly miss folks. It is a wonderful community of faith with energy, imagination and new things happening. I leave on a good and positive note. They will be riding high and anticipating the arrival of their new young minister and young family.
I leave uncertain as to what comes next, desiring some time off, but can't afford it. I pray it won't be too long before God provides a place for me to serve. And may it be close enough to home, that I can return in the evening and not have to rent an apartment and be far from home.
There will be lots of packing of boxes in these really short weeks. I will miss the people, but not having had to live here.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH -
I just discovered this morning what's wrong with the Presbyterian church
here where I am serving. I read it in the local paper. In the Church Ad section that lists all the churches and times of worship.
Apparently, we are celebrating Easter Mass this Sunday (well past Easter, who's calendar do we follow anyway? Plus, Presbyterians celebrating Mass? I think NOT!)
To make things even worse, this Presbyterian church and Presbyterian people, "follow the Easter Egg." That's it! We're following an Easter Egg and not Christ our Lord!(It was supposed to read that following worship is the Easter Egg Hunt.)
There you have it. That's what's wrong with the Presbyterian Church!

ENOUGH -
It is enough. It is enough to know that OBL is dead. I do not need to see pictures. I do not days of analysis and knowing every little detail, especially those details that might compromise our nation's security and abilities.
It is enough to know.
I have been in the presence of evil on more than one occaision, and I cannot mourn it's death. But I cannot celebrate it either. It simply is. Over. Solemn relief. I pray for the families of all who lost loved ones. I pray for OBL's family who, perhaps, lost him years ago. I pray for our nation, Pakistan and the whole world. OBL may be gone, but the organization of hatred, violence and terrorism is not. When that is gone - then will come the celebrating.
For now, it is enough.

RGBP'S FRIDAY FIVE - ROYAL WEDDING
With kathrynzj's help, here is a Royal Wedding Friday Five:

1) Will you be watching? If so, is this your first royal wedding?
Nope. Not getting up that early. Saw Diana & Prince Charles' with my
great-aunt when I was visiting my grandma in Switzerland.

2) The bride has chosen as her wedding cake a fruitcake. Where do you stand on this pastry?
Best used for a doorstop! Although, they are having the biscuit cake
as well. If it's anything like the one my nephew & his wife had at
their wedding with no flour, just chocolate, pound cake & cookies and
covered with Cadbury fingers, it will be mighty tasty! Should get that
recipe!
3) The dress code for royal weddings has not seen the same sad decline as that for most other weddings. If you could design your own royal wedding hat, what color would it be and what special decoration would it feature?
Probably sage green or a royal blue. Feathery things and a flower!

4) Any chance the Archbishop of Canterbury is using a Sustainable Sermon (tip of the mitre to the Vicar of Hogsmeade)? What would you tell the couple were you offering the homily?
Faith is a foundation for marriage and will see you through the best
and worst of times together. Love each other well. Laugh often. Be
kind and gentle with one another. Don't go to bed angry.
5) Believe it or not, kathrynzj is getting up early mostly to see the wedding dress. By the time this post is up, the world will have seen it. Did you like it?
Too much lace for me. It was pretty understated not much sparkly. I
liked that it wasn't strapless like all the gowns shown here which
is not flattering on everybody. I thought Diana's (although the train
was much too long!) was a fairy-tale princess dress and yes, dated
by today's standards. As long as the bride loved it and her prince
thought she was beautiful, that's all that really matters.

ALTERNATIVELY: If you don't want to play this, and think we are goofballs, that's okay. Instead of telling us we're goofballs, why don't you tell us something fun you're going to do this weekend. We promise to get around to visit all of you eventually!

SMILING JESUS AT TABLE -

Since we are celebrating Joy Sunday and it is the first Sunday of the month which is Communion Sunday, I thought it would be meaningful to have a picture of a smiling risen Jesus at the Emmaus table. No such luck.
When I think on that scene, breaking bread with Cleopas and follower, I can imagine the delight in Jesus's eyes and a smile on his lips, as they recognized him and he played this little surprise on them.
To all you artists out there. Consider a smiling Jesus at the Emmaus table and post it so it can be used with church power points.
Just a thought in my humble opinion.
And just for fun:
Today's gas prices are higher than a dog's hopes at a church picnic!

The Swiss are known for being scrupulously clean and efficient.
Here's proof:

http://www.swissinfo.ch/eng/multimedia/video/Mountain_clean_up.html?cid=7319646

In the midst of Holy Week,
a wee spark I might offer and perhaps, a bit of fresh air, for the hurried and harried, and burdened.

"I stuck my head out of the window this morning and
Spring kissed me
bang in the face"
(Langston Hughes)

May not only Spring but Easter, the Resurrection, kiss us bang in the face!

RGBP'S FRIDAY FIVE -BIRTHDAYS!

Jan notes, How about you? What do you think of birthdays?

1. What are your feelings about celebrating birthdays, especially your own?
It's nice to celebrate one is still alive and kicking. Enjoy receiving
cards, the occasional gift and dinner out!

2. Do you have any family traditions about birthdays?
Growing up we used to say what we'd like for dinner. Mom cooked it.
Then there would be cake with candles and the obligatory off-key,
"Happy Birthday to you..." song!
3. Is it easy to remember friends' and family members' birthdays? If so, how do you do it?
We're not a large family so I can remember the birthdays pretty
readily. As long as I don't forget to send out the birthday card!

4. What was one of your favorite birthdays? (or your unhappiest?)
My unhappiest birthday was when I turned 7. We moved two blocks up the
same street on my birthday and I couldn't have a birthday party with
my friends. I missed out on a party, cake, and gifts. I did get my
bedroom and didn't have to share one with my sister anymore, so that
was kind of a birthday gift.
My favorite was my 50th - my sister surprised me with a cruise to the
Bahamas along with my niece. IT was fun and beautiful. Enjoyed mango
coolers on deck, walking around Nassau to the historic sites and just
having a girls' weekend while it was cold, snowy and grey in OH.

5. Post anything else you want to share about birthdays, including favorite foods, songs, and/or pictures.
Usually, LH and I just go out to dinner for our birthdays. Since he
provides my birthday cake it ends up being a Hostess chocolate
cupcake with a candle in it. No left overs, no muss, no fuss. One
year we drove to Princeton Seminary for a Con Ed class on my b-day.
Spent the entire day in the car. We hurriedly light the candle on
my cupcake and blew it out fast so as not set off the sprinkler in
the room!!!

"Longing remembrance is born when there is love and absence."
Rubem Alves

Seems this dark night of the soul is indeed about longing remembrance. Longing remembrance of God's loving presence and my spirit and God's Spirit joined as one, breathing together as one.
There is within me the imprint of the gracious love of Christ, of what has been and is now absent.
My spirit desires, longs, yearns to return to that time. Did not the disciples feel the same as they grieved and mourned the death of their Lord?
Did they not live with longing remembrance?
It seems that I will live with longing remembrance for more time to come. It hasn't really abated nor changed. A restless spirit that seeks but cannot find, though not for a lack of trying, or a lack of prayer. I keep plugging along with this longing remembrance ever a part of my heart and my being.
And I cling to that longing remembrance, as though awaiting its promise of return and a hope that cannot be fully explained.
I touch and eat bread and inhale the perfume of the wine and drink it, and although I know my Lord is present there, I am filled with longing remembrance within my soul.
I miss the joy of my salvation, my delight in the Lord, and I cannot recreate it. It must come from outside of me. It must come from God's Spirit, which cannot be controlled. So I wait, with longing remembrance, soulful, sad, hopeful despite the time it is taking. I miss the passion, the joy, the delight, in all of its fullness. I am learning how to be content with thimblefulls. But still the desire for more is there. The more I used to know and have and live within.
Perhaps, with the passion of Christ so close, perhaps, with the my time here coming to an end, and nothing new as yet on the horizon, I am grieving, and filled with longing remembrance even moreso.
There is the greening of the grass and fields, the greening of the woods, and my insides groan of the winter's bleak, brown, still unawakened landscape within me.
With longing remembrance I cling to the love I've known and had and still have, but feel not. It is lonely with the Great Silence. But I wait, and do and serve...all with longing remembrance.

You'll Forgive Me...
if I don't check in as much while running around looking and wailing like Edvard Muench's The Scream!!!!!
Not only working on Maundy Thursday with communion and Tenebrae, but also this Sunday, Palm Sunday which is also a candidate for called pastor preaching and congregational meeting date. I will also be moderating this congregational meeting. Then I am to work on Easter Sunday, Joy Sunday following that one with meetings all next week, a Mother-Daughter-Sister-Friend banquet, and a National DAy of Prayer Service thrown in for good measure.
I am making sure that the candidate looks as good as possible and the congregation is ready to move forward and I confess, I am ready to live at home again. Only I cannot rest and have to actively seek a new position. I don't even have time to update my dossier at the moment.
Exciting as the candidate is and it making for a joyous and celebratory Easter and Easter season, it will be a whirlwind of activity, not the least being, cleaning out the office, eventually and cleaning out the apartment. Uh!
I remind myself, one day at a time. That is how God has graced us, grace sufficient for each day.
I will ride off quietly into the sunset of who knows what will be next. I will need to grieve leaving this congregation as well. I have loved them and been well-loved, perhaps more than I deserve.
It will make for an interesting Holy Week!
I will most likely be here another 9 weeks, but they go in a hurry.
So, forgive me in this season of forgiveness, grace and mercy, if I am somewhat absent. I will do my best to keep my head firmly on my shoulders, and listen to the still small voice from out of the mighty blustering whirlwind of life at this time.

RGBP'S FRIDAY FIVE: QUICK PICK EDITION

I am asking for five quick picks of things that are good in your life. And as a bonus, 1 pick for a thing you could do without.
If you want to describe them? Great.

1. Jett is still with us and celebrating his 10th birthday today!!!

2. Ladies' NO. One Detective Agency DVD set, I am presently watching
and reliving the books all over again!

3. There is still some Swiss chocolate left and one bag of Milk Chocolate
Clodhoppers from Canada. If only they'd market them here. Maybe not a
good idea. Can't afford to gain any more weight!

4. I have most of my services planned out until the 2nd Sunday of Easter.

5. My sister and my best friend. Also LH, my partner and best friend.

BONUS: I can do without all the cold and would welcome more spring-like temps!

Yet Another Funeral -
I am ready for a couple of months with no funeral.
The one Thursday is an elderly man whom I visited once last month and was planning to visit again this week. Only he died before I could visit again.
It was unexpected. He was a gruff, salty kinda guy with fuzzy memories that Alzheimer's brings. I didn't even know about him 'til middle to late January, when his SIL called and mentioned he could use a visit. I've been visiting that nursing home for over a year and nobody told me. Course, he hasn't darkened the church probably for 30 or more years. His daughter remembers coming to church when she "was little."
I'm beginning to feel like an angel of death. Most everyone I've visited in the nursing homes have died and some I visited at home.
I'm beginning to feel scared to visit to visit the homebound and the last remaining one in the nursing home, for fear it won't be long until they too, pass away and join the church triumphant.
I'll be known as the interim who brought death to members rather than life. I've lost more members than have been gained during this interim.
That's probably happened in most every church I've served.
It's not that I haven't reached out and spent time ministering to non-members. They just haven't joined. It also seemed that every visitor to whom I sent a note thanking them for worshipping with us and an invitation to call me, should they have a need, was never met by someone joining the church. All the members who have joined did so, by the invitation of a member of the church.
In my 26 years of ministry, that's not much of a track record. But, I know, that in some ways, I have brought Christ a little closer to them in their time of need. The rest, of course, is in God's hands. I am not an evangelist by any stretch of the imagination, although, I do tell the good news of Jesus Christ in my preaching, in my praying, in my visiting the lonely and the homebound and the sick, in the confirmation class, etc.
I just don't appreciate this mantle of the harbringer of death I seem to be wearing lately. It is unsettling, unnerving.
Just a couple months more and I pray onto a new place to serve...May I bring life and the promise of new life into this week, into the funeral, into wherever I will be blessed to serve next.

RGBP'S FRIDAY FIVE: SPIRITUAL PRACTICES

For today's Friday Five, please share with us five spiritual practices or disciplines from your experience. They can be ones that you have tried and kept up with, tried and NOT kept up with, ones that you flirt with at various times, or even practices that you have tried and found are definitely NOT your cup of tea. Let us know what's worked for you...and not.

1. Lectio Divina -
although I don't engage in lectio every time I study the Bible, it
has been a most helpful spiritual practice. I find that I read the
Bible text slower on Sunday mornings in the pulpit as well which I
believe congregations have appreciated. When done in a group, it is
even more meaningful for me as the passages expand in greater depth,
significance and meaning.

2. Daily Examen - opps, it should be daily, but I admit that it isn't
always daily. I find it helps me to know where I was close to God that
day, to thank God, and to confess where I missed the mark, and what
lead me away from God.

3. The Jesus Prayer - this is one I engage with from time to time. It was
a great struggle for me to pray this prayer as I was too focused on
getting the phrasing correct. However, when I heard the prayer set to
music, it opened up for me. Now, when I pray the Jesus prayer, I put to
the music I heard it set to in my head. That works for me.

4. Labyrinth - this has been a wonderful way for me to pray with my body
and has centered me. I don't often get the chance to walk it any more.
I have had some incredible prayer experiences when I walked the
labyrinth. It never ceases to totally amaze me.

5. Spontaneous Prayer - my most active practice. More times a day than
sometimes I can count. A quick prayer of intercession for someone, a
thank-you for something I have noticed, felt, or was given, or a word of
adoration. From the mundane to the sacred in the moment, I speak them
to God. And as Meister Eckhart has pointed out, if giving thanks is
all we do, than that is prayer enough.

POLE DANCING FOR JESUS -
Is anyone else somewhat disturbed by this new trend of church ladies pole dancing to Christian music?
Quite frankly, there's something really disgusting about it and I can't help but ponder what our Lord must be thinking, shaking his head side-to-side, his heart aching, thinking this is NOT bringing me any glory whatsoever.
Why do you need a pole to dance your faith any way? Isn't it more freeing not to be "tied" to a pole and let your spirit and body move freely?
Wouldn't it please Jesus more if you danced your way through life, sharing his love, feeding the hungry, visiting the imprisoned, comforting the sick, clothing the naked, etc.?
There is a difference between something sensual and something sexual. Pole dancing falls in the latter. Prayer and images, meditation and dancing can be sensual without being sexual.
Pole dance for your husband, if you must or will. But, please, don't do it for Jesus.
Just wondering if I'm the only one who finds it sullying, and just plain, out-of-place or have I turned into a I just-don-t get-it, middle-aged frump?

Seven years last fall, I planted hope one afternoon. In the dirt of the front flowerbeds, I put in crocus, tulip and daffodil bulbs. Today, with the crocuses blooming which have every year multiplied, I am the first in the neighborhood to have something blooming and a splash of color. Such a simple thing and now, all who pass by can see them and I enjoy and delight in them.
This spring, I am looking for hope. For something new to spring up for LH and I. I suppose it would mean moving and I will have to leave my beloved meadow with the open view of the sky behind. I will have to leave my gingko, my perenials - grape hyacinths, coneflowers, siberian iris, brown-eyed susans, bee balm, baby's breath and butterfly bush behind. I hope the next owners will enjoy them.
I hope that something will come forth for us; new life, a place to serve, a place to call home and live together, a backyard for our greys. I hope it is not too much to ask or to hope for.
Will the hope I planted in my heart from the Word of God, take root and bloom this year? May it be so. May it be so.

SPRING IS HERE!!!!
How do I know? The crocuses are busting out in beautiful purple blooms with orange centers. Just gorgeous amid a brown and empty landscape! Even the honeybees are out sampling the first blooms of spring. Vibrant, wonderful, glorious color!!!

BACK ON-LINE!
Yikes, the computer modem went out at the church and I spent a long afternoon with two different tech support people, plus our local computer magician only to find out that our modem went bad. So, a new modem had to get shipped and then another 1 1/2 hours on the phone with tech support again to get the modem to register.
All this for a little box with a bunch of cables plugged into it.
Couldn't check my email all week or look up anything. Felt disconnected.
Nothing like a little black box with cables hooked up that makes the magic of the internet appear on your screen and connect you with the larger world.
I can't even begin to imagine how disconnected the people of Japan are feeling in the midst of such a horrific disaster and nuclear crisis. My prayers are with the grieving, suffering, anxious, fearful, overwhelmed people of Japan. The images were surreal and yet all too real. And one's heart aches at the enormity of it all.
I am slowly, ever gently having to disconnect from my time here as the PNC is close to finding a new pastor. My time is getting shorter and I will need to find another position, another place to serve. Sometimes, it seems my future is as bleak looking as some of the folks and areas of Japan. Yet, I press on, trusting that somehow, someway, God will provide and open something up for us.
This living on the edge of nonexistence, this teetering on-the-edge-of-a-plate life is wearing thin, has zapped my energy, my imagination, and has broken me. All I can do is bring the fragments to the Potter who can heal and make whole. All I can do is seek the wee flicker of light in this dark night of my soul. All I can do is pray to the Great Silence, and wait and trust.

RGBP'S FRIDAY FIVE: ALL ABOUT CARS

Maybe it's just me, but I often remember how long ago someting occured or something about it by recalling the car we had at the time. For today's Friday Five, tell us about the cars in your life.Specifically, tell us about:

1. The earliest recollection you have of a family car -

It was a pinkish beige Chrysler, early 1960's with a bit of a fin and
slanted front headlights. It had a clear plastic covering over the
seats that had tiny raised triangles on it that left imprints on your
bare legs. Of course it was hot in the summer and you stuck to it and
cold in the winter. There weren't any seat belts as I recall nor did
we have car seats. The front and back were bench seats.

2. The first car you drove when you could (legally) get behind the wheel yourself. -

That would be when our family had two cars and our second car was a stripped down 1972/73 Ford Maverick, with plastic flooring, only an AM radio and my sister and Mom shared it.
Later I shared it with them. The family car was a Chrysler Newport -
brown, as long as the Queen Mary, which I had to wash and wax. I also
drove that one, but preferred the smaller, easier to park Maverick.
The last year we had the Maverick ($3,000.00 brand new)I drove it
commuting to our nearby community college. It had no heat any more
and I wrapped myself in a wool blanket. The backseat floor behind
the driver's seat was soft - rusted through and you couldn't put
anything heavy like grocery bags on it!

3. A memorable road trip -

Wow, there were so many. Perhaps, the most memorable were in my Dodge
Charger that my folks got me when I graduated from Seminary. Also,
a bare bones car that had AM/FM radio, but no A/C. It was grey 1984
model. I had a sunroof put in to help ventilate in summer. I drove
400 miles every other weekend from OH to IL to be with my husband
LH. That was during the summer of 1988. The summer of the hot drought.
I'd arrive in IL and hit the shower just to cool off and wash the
dusty road grime off of me. Two weeks before our first anniversary,
we actually moved in together in OH. I also vowed never again to own a
car without A/C!!!

4. The car you drive now. Love it? Hate it? -

I am on my third Dodge minivan and I do love it. Room enough to haul
all my stuff, especially living away from home again. Plus, it
accomodates our two greys. The middle bench is stored away in the
basement and so anyone sitting on the back bench has plenty of leg
room. I love my perch and view while driving. Just wish it had a
moonroof.

5. An interesting story that involves you and a vehicle. (No, I do not have a dirty mind!)-

We had Dad's old company car early 1980's Mercury Cougar, 4 door
sedan, Ivory cream color shipped to Switzerland and stored at my
Grandma's (who never learned to drive). Whenever we went over, we
had a car available to us. We went over quite often. During the
summer of 1983, when I interned at a church 2 towns over from my
Grandma's I had use of the car for the summer. When I went to see
the church for the first time on a Sat. there was a wedding. I was
told by some guest who pointed by church and said park down there.
I took them literally, and found myself driving down stairs toward
the church and found a little alley to turn into. I was mortified
as onlookers watched a crazy American driving a "big" American
car down the steps!!!! The car survived with nary a scratch. I was
very shaken!!!
When LH and I made our honeymoon to Switzerland 5 years later, we
drove the old Cougar and decided one day to take the most direct and
shortest route from a resort village to another bigger town. The road
on the map was a thin yellow line. OK, so it was a small road.
However, part way across the hill, we were stopped by the military
who said they were "shooting a little" that day. I said we were just
passing through to the one town. He radioed to suspend shooting til
we were through and waved us on. A little ways later, the road turned
to gravel and then just two dirt tracks through meadow. After 10-
15 minutes it became a narrow one lane road again. Needless to say,
we took the longer, wider road home that evening. I put that old
Cougar through a lot, and it survived, by the grace of God!!!

Despite the above stories, I am a very good driver and have miles and
miles to prove it!

Bonus: What's your idea of good "car music?"

Usually "oldies": Beach Boys, Styx, America, Supertramp, Carole King,
Manhattan Transfer, Gordon Lightfoot, Bare Naked
Ladies, Simon & Garfunkel, The Cars and a good
oldies station. Quite an ecclectic mix!!!

A Blessed Lent -
LH told me he heard the trill of the red-winged blackbird in the meadow behind our house. Although, he didn't see them, he heard them. They have a rather distinctive call. The first sign of spring around these here parts is not the robin, which often spends the winter here, but the red-winged blackbird.
The crocuses are pushing up as are the hyacinths, daffodils and tulips, but the crocuses will bloom first.
Lent begins this year not in the tight-fisted clasp of winter but in the opening hand of spring, ready to receive new life.
Most in our culture and society pay no attention to this sacred season of Lent. It comes and goes without much notice, except for the bunnies, baskets and bags of jelly beans and candy.
I find I need Lent, to offer up the deadness, finiteness of my life, to empty out the accumulated stuff I gather in a year within me and to be more intentional in prayer, in reading scripture, in time with my Lord. I need to be drawn into the passion of Christ and to be touched once again by a sacrifice of love so great, that I am here, alive, and counted as one who is loved and belongs to God, no matter how flawed I am or how grimed with sin I become. It was for me, my Lord suffered and died. It was for you he bore such pain and death. It was for the whole of creation, yes, even the ones who walk through these Lenten weeks oblivious, that the Beloved One emptied himself on the cross and endured the anguish he did, so that you would someday know how very beloved you are.
Wake up world! Wake up people! Leave your shallowness and superficial living behind and come, come and journey these Lenten to the ugly, awful cross and know a love so amazing and astounding that you will be made whole and all that you seek in the trivialities in life, but which never satisfy, will fill you to overflowing and you will want no more.
Blessed be this season of Lent to you.
I will eventually make it home to hear the trill of the red-winged blackbird and to crocuses blooming, and the cup of my being will overflow for the grace and gift of this blessed and glorious holy season.

PREPARING FOR ASH WEDNESDAY

This was a dual personality week - working on Transfiguration Sunday and the mountain high of Jesus dazzling and sparkling and recalling all those wonderful holy moments and encounters with God in my life and then transitioning to the solemn and somber Ash Wednesday where we encounter our mortality and sinfulness. From mountaintop to valley in seconds and hours.
I want to stay on the mountain but know I am called to serve in the valley.
I have made my list of items to bring for Ash Wednesday. I had been mulling over the idea of having a paper shredder and slips of paper where folks could write down and pray their sins and then send the paper through the shredder. A visual reminder that are sins are swallowed up, shredded, destroyed, gone in the grace and saving death of Jesus Christ.
When I went to big office store #1, shredders began at $50.00 to nearly $300.00. Way out of my price range. So, I let the idea go and planned a very simple, traditional service.
During the week, I worked on Lenten bookmarks - hoping folks will use them as they spend more time in scripture reading, meditation and prayer. I had to go to Basic Office Store to run copies off on card stock. I also wanted to pick up three more pens made from recycled water bottles. (Did you know that gel ink doesn't freeze like ball point pen ink? I was able to write with the one stored in my van to record mileage without any problem all winter long! Consider this a free tip of the day!!!)
As I headed to the checkout, what should my eye behold? An entire display stack of shredders for $19.99. It was serendipitious! God was calling me to go ahead and work with it. So, I returned to church aglow with the shredder in the back of the van.
On the drive back, it occurred to me that I would need to have some scripture, directions, prayer and assurance of forgiveness, besides slips of paper and pens & pencils. So, I wagged my finger at God, and said, "You are a sly One! Just when I gave up the whole idea, You present it and tell me to run with it. Only I haven't worked it all out! Thanks, a bunch, Lord!"
I have learned to pay attention to such moments. They don't happen by mere chance and God and God's Holy Spirit have been behind them all, directing me, leading me, teaching me. They are wonderful grace-filled moments, mountaintop moments of a more mundane nature, but nonetheless, an ordinary thing made alive with possibility. Who would ever think a shredder could have such a holy use? God takes the simple, ordinary, mundane thing and transform it into something more and greater or a way to point to God's Own Self.
It humbles me every time. And amazes me every time.

We Were Supposed To -
We were supposed to go and get our taxes done on Friday. That was the plan. We had scheduled the time. Made the appointment. Winter had something else in mind. Winter is not leaving without a fight. Winter came overnight and most of the morning long, covering everything in white. So much so, at times you could barely see across the street. The wind gusted and blew and we knew, we did. We were not going anywhere.
At least, not until LH fired up the snowthrower and the wind abated and the snowplow would come through. LH made it out the grocery store late Friday afternoon.
I did my laundry, my mending, my pulling items for the children's sermon, and locating items for Ash Wednesday, playing Solitare on the computer, when I should have been working.
One more snow day before winter ends. Of course, March has been known to bring a storm or two.
And today, after two days of warmer weather and rain, the snow is nearly all melted. Come and gone so quickly and disturbing our careful plans.
This coming Friday, we are supposed to go and get our taxes done...We will try again!

SOMETHING FOR SUNDAY -

"Worry is like a rocking chair;
it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere."
Erma Bombeck

I've stopped worrying about tomorrow because it made me too ill and paralyzes me. I am learning to trust God more without knowing what tomorrow will bring or where I'll be or what LH will be doing. It's so beyond our control at this point, I can do no other than to simply trust God as hard as it is, especially, when I think there must be something I can do. Sometimes, you have to simply trust God and keep praying.
I cannot concieve of not having health insurance - but it may happen. I cannot conceive of not having an income - but it may happen.
Trusting God is so very difficult at times. But it helps to know that I am inscribed on God's palms and not forgotten. I cling to that. That God has not forgotten us.
And so, I will not worry about tomorrow, I have enough to deal with today.

JAUNTY -
Hard to think of my staid, middle aged, workhorse minivan as jaunty. But today, after our major snowfall, it sported a jaunty mohawk look. Covered in a good 5 inches of snow, I worked for 15 minutes sweeping the snow off the windows, the fenders, the hood of the van, and even managed to reach the edges of the luggage rack going the length of the van. I am too short to reach or go beyond that. I then had to scrape off the windshield.
I parked her in the church parking lot under a blue sky with sunshine. And she looked rather jaunty and sporty with the snow piled inches tall on her roof and cleared off everywhere else.
Alas, it only lasted this morning, as the sun now is beginning to radiate some heat and has partially melted the mohawk.
But there for a time, my minivan looked jaunty!

Birthday Eve -
Tomorrow will be another birthday. I am thankful to enjoy another birthday, just not so sure about going deeper into my 50's. It is as it is, and I am ever amazed at how the years have zipped by. Each year even faster.
I don't think I get as much done or accomplished as I used to.
My life is structured by the seasons of the church year and plays out Sunday to Sunday. Although, this past year, there is an undertone of Thursdays to Thursdays, since I get to go home.
This year, my birthday falls on my day off! WhooYoo! And it doesn't fall in Lent! WhooYoo! It would be a great year to party! Think I'll settle for a dinner out with LH and a frozen adult beveridge for dessert and if LH is thinking, some chocolate cupcake with a candle on it.
For the most part, I am simply grateful to be able to wake up in my own bed next to LH and to be in the company of greyhounds. Now, that's the best B-Day present ever!
In the meanwhile, I'll just have to get used to being this age and pray that there are many more birthdays to celebrate ahead of me. And that this year will bring some new adventure and fresh good changes. That is my prayer, that is my wish. To do more than merely exist, to live as I was created to live, fully, deeply and at one with my God.

WESTMINSTER - THE DOG SHOW, NOT THE CATHEDRAL

Although, I always root for the greyhound, last night, I was rooting for the golden retriever (after the Deerhound, of course). Goldens and Labs are the most popular dogs, yet Goldens have never won. If there would be a Hall of Fame for dogs, Goldens should be in. They are great dogs as a whole. Good all around family dog, therapy and service dog, and usually with great personalities.
I also liked the Weimeraner. Thought it was a great looking dog.
For fun I like the Puli and Kommondor.
It was no surprise to me to see a Pekingese, the cocker spaniel or the Porteguese Water Dog (I am amazed it didn't win due to the President owning one). They are close if not some of the usual picks. The PBGV and Dandididmont are always culled from their groups.
I'm waiting for the Rhodesian Ridgeback, The Golden Retriever, and The Greyhound to win.
It is a really politcal, who knows who sort of sport.
But they are all really great and wonderful dogs and it's fun to watch them. Sometimes I wonder how the judge can make a decision when they have a whole collection of such fantastic dogs before them. I know each breed has meet their conformation, but really, didn't all those dogs look great?
In the end, we all have our favorite breeds and hopefully, make our home with one.
I figure my boys won't ever win any dog show as they are ex-racers, but they place best in show in my heart. Jett is so good looking and proportioned he could almost make a dog show. Jazz, alas, is pure racer, compact, sturdy, boney, bow-legged but with a face that melts your heart.
And that's all it's about in the end. Love your hounds and let them love you. They are a delight and a comfort, a gift of grace and joy.
No, my boys aren't show dogs, but they are living their second chance at life, with creature comforts of doggie beds, couch, knitted afghan, food and dinner scraps in their dishes, milkbones aplenty, a yard to run and romp around in, someone to care for, rub them and love them. What more is there?
They don't need bows on their heads (not enough fur), they won't ever been seen in any kind of outfit or get-up, their nails are not painted. They are as they are, just like God made them and more than satisfied and content.
Jett and Jazz, you're my best in show.
And congrats to the Scottish Deerhound, who actually won. One down and three on my list to go!!!!!

HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED?
I bought a new blouse this past week, a kind of early birthday present.
Maybe, I just wanted something springy to look forward to amid all the ice and snow packed down and somewhat grimey, grey, yucky and black.
It had buttons down the placket and on the cuffs.
I also bought a 3/4 length sleeve shirt with shell-like buttons along its V-neck.
I washed them according to the label instructions:
the v-neck shirt I washed inside out, cold water, gentle cycle. When the washer was done, I pulled out the shirt. Two buttons were completely off and at least two others were dangling by a thread. Actually, since there were sewn on continuous thread and not sown on separately, when one goes, the next is affected and in time, all will be affected.
the blouse I washed cold water, regular cycle. When the washer was done and I hung the blouse to dry, lo and behold, the bottom button was missing. I looked and reached in the washer and there was the small button, busted. The middle of the button looked like a doughnut or bagel one hole in the middle instead of 4 tiny holes.
Please note, neither shirt had ever been worn. They had been washed only one time for the first time.
I spent part of my weekend, resewing buttons.
I have spent a lot of time resewing buttons in recent years.
Have you noticed that clothing manufacturers run thread into the buttons to attach them to the garment but there are no real knots. Which means, of course, that the buttons will come off in now time at all. Thankfully, they often include an extra button.
However, in the case of my blouse (light blue with blue and sage green splattered dots), I had to use the extra button to replace the one that broke in the wash. It would've been nice to wear the shirt at least once.
If another button breaks, I will have to go to the fabric store and replace all buttons, because I am sure I won't find an exact match.
Have you all noticed the loose button situation with your clothing?
Annoying isn't it?
Thank goodness, I do know how to sew on a button. Now if the clothing manufacturers could figure it out, that would be even better.

The Sound of the Thaw
It was a sound that really was music to my ears-
It startled me when I heard it
for my ears have not beheld that sound in many, many weeks,
even months.
There is a Zen-like quality to the sound that reaches down
into one's very soul
and awakens it.
It's trickling, tinkling sound spoke to me, gladdened my heart and spirit
filled me with hope and long did I listen that Sunday morning at
church and then at home in the afternoon and evening when the
sky was blue and pink.
Ahh, the sound of melting snow running in streams through the gutters
and into the downspout, harkening, laughing, the thaw has come,
the thaw has come...
Can spring be far behind?
What a luscious sound I heard on Sunday
of ice and snow melting into a melody all its own.
The thaw has come serenading us with music!

Sometimes -
sometimes I feel so out of touch
out of place
old
inadequate
weary
ready to retire
uninspired
like I missed the train
uncertain
yet somehow loved in and through and by it all
by a love so deep and true that even when I feel
it not, or doubt it, it is there...ever there
and I make it through another day and another week
held in a love as vast as the universe yet often
invisible, nearly undetectable...but ever there.

MONDAY THOUGHTS -
Snow has begun to fall again, here. Light, tiny flakes that aren't yet sticking to the walkways or streets. It will, before the evening falls. Another arctic blast will descend and it will be bitterly cold. The sky is a light grey and we've had two days of sunshine, maybe three in the whole month of January.
One of our elderly homebound says the walls are beginning to close in on her! Cabin fever!
A reminder to me how important it is to stop in and check on folks within the congregation. To make the time for a visit. It doesn't always need to be a visit with deep theological discussion, just to be there, to make time for that person, to pray for them and with them, to inquire about how they're feeling, to break up the monotony of their day or week. To genuinely want to spend some time with them and to share news they hadn't heard through e-mail or because they weren't in church Sunday.
I feel several visits coming on this week. It is good for me and for them and keeps us all connected in a very personal way, which the computer can't do.
So the grace of these cold, snowy, icy days are the warmth of connections between one another and the maintaining of relationships within the fold. It makes the last weeks of winter more bearable.

BRRRRR......
It's a cold one today but the sky is blue and the sun is shining.
After the ice coated and encrusted everything, it began to rain overnight. On Wednesday morning, as I was ready to leave for the church, the secretary called and said the church had no power. Wouldn't be able to do a thing!
I looked at the rickety wooden steps and handrail which were just wet and no longer encased in ice and sighed.
I plugged in the old laptop and worked on my sermon and prayers. By late morning,the temp had dropped dramatically and the wind was blowing unmercifully.
By 5 pm the cable had been restored and I could catch the news. I had been playing the radio so I wasn't totally in the dark.
I was thankful for the old laptop and that my part of the town hadn't lost power.
Today it is just really, really cold.
Playing catch-up to get every ready for Sunday and I get to leave at noon to go home today!!! I would've preferred being snowed/iced in at home with my boys, but the quiet keep me from distractions and helped me to get my sermon done.
All of a sudden, salt has taken on more meaning - salt that thaws the frozen from their fear, anxiety or despair, that melts the iced hardness of bitterness and hatred, etc.
I pray that power will continue to be restored to all still without heat and light. Although, my space heaters aren't much, there still give heat and keep it in the 60's.
May we, Midwesterners be salt and light especially now, and every day.
As we reflect on the gift of salt and light, our need of salt and light, may we more fully become the salt and light to which Christ calls us and to a world sore in need of both.

THE ICE COMETH -
This morning was all about asking; will I be able?
Will I be able to go down the rickety wooden steps from the apartment
without slipping? The landlord salted the steps, but the wooden handrail
was coated in ice, not much of a help.
Will I make it to my ice encased van, without slipping or falling?
Will I be able to open the van door and start the van?
Will I be able to even scrape some of the 1/8-1/4 inch thick ice off
the van? (Yes, as the van heated up I was able to scrape several
windows but not before breaking the scraper off my snow brush and using
this little black plastic scraper to do it all. I stopped on the way to the church and got a new scraper at the corner gas station!
Will I be able to get enough traction to even back out of my parking spot?
Will I make it the church okay?
Will I be able to pull into the skating rink, aka - the parking lot - at the church?
Will I be able to make it from the van to the church entrance without
mishap?
Obviously, I made it, one half hour, sore shoulder later. No one is here.
The meals-on-wheels group cancelled - no meals made or delivered today and probably not tomorrow. The secretary couldn't make it in either.
Now the questions reform as I hope to make it back to the apartment for
lunch and back to the office before the next round, even nastier than this one, comes.
Ice really cripples us. The schoolchildren and teachers rejoice - no school! The elderly and frail snuggle in at home, content to stay in where it is warm and cozy and familiar. The rest of us, are out making our way slowly and gingerly through the world, at least today. Tomorrow will be another story.