Thursday, June 02, 2011

Hard to believe that I'm down to my last two Sundays here in my interim.
The end has come way too fast. But needed to come. I wander off into the unknown and back home. Have to do transitional health care. I try not to get too anxious, but it is really difficult. I cannot believe that we are in such a situation. It is like living into your worst nightmare and live into it we must. I am trying to be faithful and meet God here, but the great Silence is still silent and I struggle and wrestle in hope, and faith, doubt and trust, disappointment and anger, fear and grace...
I pray that something will work out soon for us and that we will not have to be parted too far for too long. I simply can't do that again for greater distance or longer time.
I remind the church folks of God's providential care for bringing us together and how primed they for their new pastor - all set to go, new youth group forming, new cooking class for the community, choir restarted with new choir director, 2 baptisms, and 2 reaffirmations of faith in the last two weeks, and the exciting adventure in ministry and mission that is before them.
And for me, there is nothing but a yawning black hole of emptiness and nothingness. I will be brave and trusting in God, the Great Silence, as I step into this black hole of my future...

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