Thursday, March 17, 2011

Yikes, the computer modem went out at the church and I spent a long afternoon with two different tech support people, plus our local computer magician only to find out that our modem went bad. So, a new modem had to get shipped and then another 1 1/2 hours on the phone with tech support again to get the modem to register.
All this for a little box with a bunch of cables plugged into it.
Couldn't check my email all week or look up anything. Felt disconnected.
Nothing like a little black box with cables hooked up that makes the magic of the internet appear on your screen and connect you with the larger world.
I can't even begin to imagine how disconnected the people of Japan are feeling in the midst of such a horrific disaster and nuclear crisis. My prayers are with the grieving, suffering, anxious, fearful, overwhelmed people of Japan. The images were surreal and yet all too real. And one's heart aches at the enormity of it all.
I am slowly, ever gently having to disconnect from my time here as the PNC is close to finding a new pastor. My time is getting shorter and I will need to find another position, another place to serve. Sometimes, it seems my future is as bleak looking as some of the folks and areas of Japan. Yet, I press on, trusting that somehow, someway, God will provide and open something up for us.
This living on the edge of nonexistence, this teetering on-the-edge-of-a-plate life is wearing thin, has zapped my energy, my imagination, and has broken me. All I can do is bring the fragments to the Potter who can heal and make whole. All I can do is seek the wee flicker of light in this dark night of my soul. All I can do is pray to the Great Silence, and wait and trust.

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