I find that with the voting in for Amendment 10A, there is no joy, only sadness. Sadness for my denomination to give in to the prevailing culture, and to allow for its being ripped apart. With the approval of Amendment 10A, the church will change forever.
And it is not an exciting change full of the Spirit's power.
No one has "won" with the passage of this Admendment. Those who think they won - may see a much smaller denomination and an exodus of local churches. Those who feel they have "lost" and leave thinking they in end will have really "won", will be a part of us who will always be missing.
I feel only a deep, profound grief and sadness within me for my church, my denomination. A sense of we know not what we do.
I pray mightily that somehow, someway, God will show and lead us to find a way we can live together. Perhaps, I am merely a dreamer or an idealist. But my hope, my prayer is that we can live together even though we don't agree. But that's not the Presbyterian way. We have split and come together more times than I can count. Splitting is such a grievious thing for we are torn and rent from one another -forgetting that Christ prayed that we would be made one as Jesus and God are one.
So, I continue to pray for us all. I am not ready to leave my denomination.
And have lived in tension with this issue for most of my ordained ministry and still have not been able to write off one or the other side. I still grapple with scripture, Christ's call, the gifting of Holy Spirit, and the vows that we have upheld and I have tried to live faithfully.
I know most of the arguments, I have studied study papers of this denomination and another's, I have not bought into all the biblical interpretation that at times takes leaps I cannot, and I know grace, forgiveness, mercy, and the love of my Lord. I know that we all sin and fall far short. It has been and will continue to be a stumbling block. And even knowing and praying through all this over the years, I cannot concede one side over the other.
For now, all I know is a great sadness.