Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Tiredness -

This Lent I am feeling tired, weary. Perhaps, I've been staying up a bit later catching the Olympics. Perhaps, it goes much deeper - back to the Dark Night - the tiredness of seeking God and failing, the tiredness of praying to the Great Silence, the tiredness of this life which is not fully alive and living, the tiredness of being away from home, the tiredness of this continued Dark Night...just plain tired.
I could just sleep an entire day, but its not possible.
I long to be close to God again, to be on the same wavelength, in sync, full and bubbling with vibrant life and joy, instead of this emptiness.
I bring to God my tiredness, me weariness, my spirit that can resist no longer - perhaps this is what God has been waiting for. Wearing me down, until I can no longer resist what God is about do, to open me more fully and completely to what God will yet bring. I am tired, Lord, oh, so tired. Do with me as you will, for I can resist no longer. Here I am, Lord. All yours. Amen.

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