Monday, February 01, 2010

Not by choice, but the church was without internet for two days! I sorely missed it, especially checking my e-mail. By late Thursday afternoon it was up and running again, only it was time for me to leave.
I did manage to pull my Ash Wednesday service together. Still have to tweak the sermon and the communion liturgy.
My day off is spent doing my banking, errands, grocery shopping, laundry, etc. and rarely have time to be on-line. This week it will include a visit to the Vet with Jett who needs his rabies vaccine. Always, something!
The church is getting primed for a discernment process that will make a good Lenten disipline and spiritual practice. So, I have been busy with that.
As often in interims, there are staff changes. To date we have - a new choir director after not having one for over a year. We hope she will be with us for at least a year.
And now a new church secretary, who is really the old church secretary who left to start another job and got downsized.
So, things are in flux and changing and moving here.
Not so in my life. We are at a standstill, waiting for God, waiting for what comes next. I had hoped to move through this dark night, but it is longer and lingering with little movement or small movements in tiny spurts. I function on the outside and the inside suffers and longs and sends out gossamer threads of hope to the Great Silence. All the while, missing the delight, the savoring, the joy that is a part of life and has been so much a part of me. I pray it will come back one day - deeper, richer and fuller as it has in the past.
As our internet was off-line, so I feel off-line from God and not by choice either. But I keep trying to make the connection, I keep praying to the Great Silence, knowing GS hears me and learning to live inside this dark night and befriend it. I have the feeling I will know this dark night very well long before it is over.

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