Thursday, April 29, 2010

LOOKING AHEAD -

I am staring at a very full week next week. Sunday worship, committee meeting, and Mother/Daughter/Sister/Friend banquet Sunday evening. ( I won't be able to go home Sunday) There will be the clergy lunch on Wed. There will most likely be a funeral. On Thursday at 7 pm, is the National Day of Prayer Service and I am responsible for praying for The Media, and fill a 3 minute slot. I won't be getting home til after 9 pm.
So, today, I will leave early afternoon and have some extra time with my boys and just be home. I miss home so much. My own bed, my own space, the ability to pull weeds after supper, to do a load of laundry, to mend, to tend. At the end of the day, at the end of my week, I just want to be home with LH and the greys.
Sometimes this exile feels like punishment. Even though I have confessed my sins and even things I for which I was not at fault. I cannot help but feel this sense of punishment. As if serving in ministry is not difficult enough, I am without my support, without what nourishes my spirit and calms my soul.
Does anyone really know, what we give up when serving God's people? For the most part, church folk and others simply have no clue. It all appears done so effortlessly, with such love and grace while inside one's soul weeps for home, for a little "normalcy", for one's own bed, for one's family. The sacrifice, we clergy make is great, especially when it comes to family.
Hold your loved ones a bit tighter, amoment longer this week, savor sleeping in your bed and with your own pillow, be thankful for being able to do laundry whenever you need, to sit on your porch or patio, to pet your dog or cat. Do it for yourself, for love of your family. Do it for me and for all who are far from the home and family they love.

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