Wednesday, April 07, 2010


In the interest of celebrating Joy or Bright Sunday, with this, my 380th post, I will prime the pump with a few of my favorites. Enjoy and share with utter abandon and may the joy of Christ's resurrection be something we share with the world.

A 92 year old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw the man walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. A couple of weeks later, when the elderly gent had an appointment with the doctor again, the doc said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
The old man replied, "Just doing what you said Doc. 'Get a hot momma and be cheerful.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart murmur. Be careful!"

A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in the yard and asked his mom, "Who am I?" Ready to play the game, she said, "I don't know! Who are you?"
"Wow!" cried the child, "Mrs. Johnson was right! She said I was so dirty my own mother wouldn't recognize me!"

Did you hear about the turtle that got mugged by three snails? When asked by the police to give a description of what happened, the turtle replies, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"

A boy was constantly wandering in and out of the house leaving the front or back door wide open.
"Once and for all, will you please close that!" the exasperated mom pleaded one day. "Were you born in a barn?"
"No, I was born in a hospital," he replied, smirking, "With automatic doors."

What do you get when you cross a librarian with a lawyer?
All the information you want, except you can't understand it.

One gentleman recalls that when his back seized up, he called the doctor's office, explaining that he was a minister and was in too much pain to deliver his sermon. Could they help?
The woman on the other end asked him to hold. The next thing he heard was a loud voice announcing, "I have a minister on the phone who can't stand to preach!"

A young boy was lost in the mall. He ran over to a police officer. "I've lost my dad!, he said.
"What's he like?" the cop asked.
"Baseball and beer."

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