Today, I get to go home! Nothing better in all the world than being home,
home in your own surroundings, home with your loved ones, home in your own bed.
Although I am going home today and it will be good, I still am not home with God. That yet eludes me. I used to be home with God, until this dark night crept in and took over and now I wander the darkness seeking that home with God. There haven't even been far off lights in the windows of my home with God to beckon me and lead me closer. Just darkness in which I am shrouded and the Great Silence to whom I pray. How much longer will this continue, I have no idea. But the longing to be home with God is as strong as ever. And the knowing of the home I have had with God will keep me looking, seeking, searching until I find it once again, even if it takes the rest of my days on earth. I pray that this dark night will not last that long, but when I hear of others, who may I, that I should be spared months and years of a dark night? God knows the time and God knows me. So, I just go on trust and belief. Help my unbelief, O Great Silence.
In the meanwhile, I do get a homegoing that soothes my anguished spirit. And it is enough for now.