Wednesday, January 21, 2009

In winter, up north, you cannot hide. The trees stripped bare of their leaves exposing their frame and the snowy white ground that shows every track and mark. That is winter's revealing.
This winter's revealing is displaying our inability to meet our budget and no persons to fill our Deacon positions. I anticipate that our Deacons will disband, our Women's Association may meet for one more year, that I will be asked to serve 3/4 time. We spent all our mission money this year which is a blessed thing, when needs are great and overwhelming. Our budget is pretty bare bones.
There are times I feel overwhelmed and old. I know how to "do" church, lead mostly traditional worship, Taize worship, etc. and know how to "be" church, relationships and small groups. But there are those moments when I feel like this all is so over my head and beyond me. Which I realize ministry usually is!
If they are not willing or able to change or seriously address this, then I suppose I will walk with them to the closing of their doors. Unless, LH, is called somewhere else and we have to move.
They are old, worn-out and tired and the younger ones are trying to hold on to their day jobs. I don't have any answers. I keep praying. I keep serving. I continue to ask for wisdom and guidance and insight. It's all I can do. It really all is in God's hands and I am but God's servant.
That is winter's revealing this year.

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