CHRISTMAS

 will soon be here and it will be the very first time since Seminary that I will actually be home Christmas Eve. This year we are recording our Christmas Eve service on Wednesday evening which makes it easier for our 4 choir people to be here to sing the carols.

    It will feel weird to pretend that Wed is Christmas Eve and it will feel weird to be home on Christmas - just the greyhound & I. LH has 2 in-person worship services that evening when he is used to just one. I usually have 2 worship services Christmas Eve but this year just one. I'll play some Christmas music, maybe light a candle and check on the M church service - also pre-recorded.

   LH and I are used to quiet Christmas Days, lounging around, unwrapping gifts, grazing on snacks, making calls to family, and taking an afternoon nap. Very relaxing. M church has given the staff the week between Christmas and New Year's off - no phone calls to make or cards to write. I wrote about 52 cards for Christmas to the homebound and care facility people, as well as staff and some who live alone. I'm taking the Sunday after Christmas off (that makes 2 out of 4 Sundays I had off this year), so this will be I pray the most laid back end of year, ever. After, 36 years of ordained ministry - it's kinda nice. But weird.

   I got the family packages wrapped and mailed, the Christmas letter in English and German done and sent along with Christmas cards. Just have one bag of gifts to be-ribbon and bow, and one last little gift for LH to wrap and ribbon. Staff gift bags are done and all but one delivered. Everything got done in time.

   LH got a gift card from the church he is serving as an interim. I, as usual, get nothing from this Lutheran church. They are lacking in generosity and giving. I've tried during my time here to be an example of that - but somehow they just don't get it. If it weren't for me neither the secretary or organist would receive a thing. I can't afford more than $25.00 eatery gift cards when there's 3 at my church plus LH's secretary. That's a hundred bucks out of my pocket and the church does nothing. It is so very sad that they have not learned to show gratitude and appreciation. There are times I weep for them, because until they learn gratitude they will continue to struggle, to complain and feel they never have enough or are enough, though God tells them are enough. 4 years I have been here and have preached and been an example and yet...Congregations are slow to learn, to change, to overcome their DNA. I pray for them. Maybe in the New Year, I will leap around the chancel to show how free I am being grateful and thankful and what joy it brings to the soul! They would probably call the Bishop's office to report me and have me committed!!! But it might be fun to try.

   So, as weird as it will be this Christmas Eve, I am grateful for a quiet, contemplative Christmas Eve where I can make my way to the manger and behold the wondrous gift of God's love born to me and to all the world in Christ Jesus. Wishing you a blessed Christmas and a hopeful, healthy New Year.

Peace and Joy to all.

NOVEMBER

 and time is quickly moving towards Advent. Still working on my Christmas Eve service and liturgy, and hoping to have sermons in Advent based on hope, peace, joy and love. Theming - Light in the Darkness. It seemed appropriate for this year. 

   Working on an Advent kit for families to do at home, with a sticker Advent calendar, coloring page Advent wreath, Jesse Tree scriptures, prayers and ornaments to color, and a list of things to do together as a family for Advent. Since we have so few families, it is a manageable thing to put together.

   My dining room table is an utter mess since I've been using it as an office and has piles of notes cards to send out to folks, books, cloths for Saturday evening worship small table serving as an altar, an unused lunch bag since I'm not going in to M church on Tues & Thurs. and some sundry items that are buried underneath the other things. Sigh. Thanksgiving is coming and we'll be eating on the table!! Major decluttering to happen this weekend! 

   Then our PC too ill and today, my gmail was unaccessible and new passwords made. I hate that, you finally put together a password you can remember and boom, it doesn't work anymore for whatever reason. I hate it. I can't remember 1/2 of them anymore and have to write them down somewhere and then remember where I wrote it down. 

   I'll be glad when the election is over. I don't understand such bipartisan anger. I think most of it is fueled by the media. Whatever happened to being good losers? So your candidate didn't get elected, deal with it and move on and work together to better some things. But pity parties and wasting people's money on investigations that come out with nothing is a big waste of money, time and energy that could be spent on actually legislating programs or help that make a difference in the lives of our people and in our nation. In 4 years, you have an opportunity to cast your vote for new candidates and hope for a change. You don't have to riot, loot or resort to violence, or being mean-spirited and intolerant. That is spoilt child behavior and not adultlike. Any President can only do so much, Congress has most of the power. We can respect our differences and honor another's view point. It's about human dignity and that we are more together than we are apart. That we hold freedom close to us. So many flee their country to come to the US because of that very freedom. We have taken that freedom for granted. 

   Well, anyway, I'll be glad when the election is over and pray that we can work together, do so with honor and respect and peacefully - whatever the outcome.

In the meanwhile, Advent is at our doorstep and more than ever we need the light of Christ to shine brightly into our lives, and into this murky world.

On Another Note Altogether

 is anyone else struggling with how to do Christmas Eve services this year with COVID19?

   Normally, where I serve we do a lessons & carols service with either a short sermon or reflections with each lesson. I have found that most people simply want to hear the message of Christmas through Scripture and beloved carols. 

    With the pandemic, we cannot host 187 at a worship service and there can be no singing - which really impacts the close of worship with candlelighting and singing, Silent Night. 

    I'm hoping to hearing ideas on how to make Christmas still like Christmas given the constraints we live under at this time. so comment or direct me to creative ideas. They would be gratefully welcomed. I am at such a loss.

AM I THE ONLY ONE

 who wonders what is happening in our world?

    Such tragic deaths that were preventable, if only the person complied. Why, not just comply and if there is a mistake of identity, or wrongful arrest, which can then can be cleared by the courts, the death, for the most part would be prevented?

    None of these individuals had clean records, which doesn't mean a person can't change and are trying to live a clean life, and yet, they are canonized. Yes, their death is tragic, yes, their death was preventable, yes there are bad cops out there, but none were as innocent as they are made out to be. 

    What does it take for people to be honest and to take responsibility for themselves? To be able to say, yes, I screwed up, yes, I have a rap sheet, yes, I am not a saint, but am willing to take responsibility for my actions and to comply. 

    Leave the drugs alone, finish high school, go to trade school or college, work hard, watch who you hang out with and for the most part, you won't find yourself in trouble with the law or otherwise. 

    I found it interesting that the protest victims in Kenosha who were shot by a teenager, were not mentioned much in the media. I think it's perhaps because they were thugs with rap sheets and a child sex offender. Yet, these are ones protest groups hire and who loot and riot. Really?

   I cannot back such groups. I can back grieving families who've lost children through senseless shootings. (But were there drugs involved or abusive relationships involved?). I can back true injustice when people of color are not hired when they are qualified for a position or are paid less than their white counterparts or male counterparts. I can back programs and organizations that work with families of color to get them the help they need for housing, medical, food, education, & employment, to get them from being homeless and back on their feet. 

   I cheer for every child who gets to college or trade school despite having been homeless or mired in poverty. I know they have had to work so much harder and have truly struggled to reach their goals and desire for a better, more stable life. I applaud their parent(s), their teachers, their school counselors who have helped them along the way. I believe a faith life changes us, shapes us and transforms us.

   I think, until people learn to take responsibility for their actions and lives, we will be living with unrest, a truly stretched truth about individuals, and sadly, tragically lost lives. We are all flawed, we all do stupid things that shouldn't result in death, but we need to own up to it, and confess that we are indeed flawed and do foolish things. That's basic to our Christian faith and belief. But, with all the noise that is out there, I think I'm the only one, who feels this way, and understands this.  

QUITE A SUMMER

it has been. COVID19, deteriorating race relations, and rioting and looting by anarchists. So very sad, disturbing and troubling. My soul has felt the weight of it all. 
   I grew up the first generation of immigrants, in a very white Italian town, though we were not Italian. I was baptized Presbyterian and went to Sunday School where we sang and were taught that Jesus Loves the Little Children - all the children of the world, no matter their color. I guess I grew up believing that God loves us all. Our small congregation had one black family, and two Filipino families. Our church had a day care center that catered to low-income families many of whom were black. No one thought anything of that. 
   In my grade school, the special education teacher was black, Mrs. G. She offered Sign Language
classes before school for anyone interested. A few of us took the class and I had much admiration and respect for her. I liked her a lot.
   In 5th grade, I took up flute (after 4 years of piano and continued with piano as well). I played in the district band composed of several grade schools in two neighboring towns, the other town had many black families. We all got along and looked forward to seeing each other every week and making music together. The girl next to me playing flute was black and there was a black boy who played flute as well. We ended up in the same high school. The girl who played flute beside me even gave me her grandma's chocolate chip cookie recipe which my family enjoyed and the same one I still use today. (better than Toll House). We even shared a hotel room together at some music event. 
    My high school was a totally integrated and I became a Thespian and a member of the Speech Team. In all the plays we presented, color never played a role. The best performers, whether black or white got the lead roles and they deserved them. There was never animosity between any of us. We celebrated one another's wins at Speech meets and cheered one another on. I thank them for from them I learned of Langston Hughes and James Wheldon Johnson. They expanded my world and
experience.
    And I will always affirm that All Lives Matter. No one will guilt me into being racist for affirming that. Everyone's Life matters. All should be treated with dignity and respect.
    I resent being called racist for believing that. My faith tells me otherwise. I will not be made to feel guilty for being born the color I was nor will I ever make some one else feel guilty for the color or nationality they were born. I had to work hard at my schooling and a couple less than stellar teachers in public school. But I learned even from them. I got into college on my own merit and worked to pay half of my tuition. I had no car when I went away to college in my junior year. I either took the train home over breaks or shared a ride with others from the Chicago area. I lived in the dorm. There were no Starbucks or spring break vacations. I lived simply and frugally. My first 2 years of college were at a community college taking required courses for a lot less money and living at home and working part-time. It was a big deal to get a pizza every couple of months. I never went hungry eating cafeteria fare, although, I did hit the salad bar a lot. I even worked at the school cafeteria, doing dishes and serving food during the last two years of college. Made barely a pittance, but it paid for that pizza once in a blue moon.
    Most young people in college expect to live off campus, drink their expensive coffee and go out to eat - Panera and the like. Many have cars and expect to go on spring break vacations. They are the privileged. Or their parents indulge them. 
    I would support Black Lives Matter, but the fact that they are funded by anarchists, socialists and Marxist makes it difficult for me to do so. Most of the rioting, looting and chaos were caused by these misguided people who just want our nation to become socialist. I don't know, the last time I've studied socialist countries, they aren't doing too well, they have no freedom of speech and opportunities to better one's life are nonexistent. If those young people are so disenchanted with America, they should go to Cuba and live as the Cubans do. It would be an eye opening experience for them to be sure. 
  Yes, our country is not without flaws, not without some history that shames us, but we strive to do better and be better for all. We cannot forget or erase our history, but learn from it and do better. There are people from other countries (many of them socialist countries) that want to come to America, because opportunity is provided for a better life, for freedom to be themselves and express themselves. We do not guarantee that every one will be rich, or have a trouble-free life. But we
provide opportunity for education, innovation, business, etc. Working hard and being responsible
are a part of that opportunity. 
    Being given everything for "free" is sadly, a mere pipedream. Not possible in this world. Sure things can be "free" if one is willing to pay 80% of their salary in taxes. yes, issues of health care,
cost of medication, and education need to be addressed and worked on - but free college? Not everyone needs or should go to college. Some folks are better off in a trade and make a much living at it than I do with a Master's. I would hate for my car, airconditioning/heating/ plumbing not to work
properly. I depend on these skilled professionals as well as many others in manufacturing the products and appliances I use every day.
    Free college? I believe that when you pay for something, when you work for it, it means so much more, you value it more, you put more of yourself into and the investment. Habitat for Humanity has
shown that is so. Rather than being given a house outright, there is a small mortgage and hours of
sweat equity required. And the satisfaction and pride a family feels when they move in is because it wasn't just free.
    I pray for our country and nation, for understanding between races, for hatred to be turned into genuine care for others and not simply condemning them because they don't believe exactly as you. That doesn't make any of us more right or wrong, that's what freedom is about, and these angry
socialists and anacharists don't see the intolerance they have toward others even as they complain
about intolerance. Defacing public property, destroying small business that serve neighborhoods is counter productive. Let's address civilly those injustices, the things that wrong (choke holds) and
bad police officers and make changes that matter.
    Those who are not content, give them a ticket to Cuba and let them live and experience socialism
on a daily basis.
    But don't make me feel wrong when I believe all lives matter, yours as well as mine, no matter what color your skin is or what nationality you are.

WHERE DOES TIME GO?

Here it is well into June with July soon to come and time has gotten away from me.
Which seems, perhaps, a bit ironic since my schedule is no where near as hectic now as it was
before COVID19.
   Somehow, I guess we just settle into  a new routine.
   We've been live streaming our simple worship on Facebook and are looking to reopen in person
worship on July 5th. We will social distance, strongly encourage masks, no singing, and we have
sealed communion wafer and juice cups. It will be different and I wonder how many will actually
come. We are holding off on Sat. evening worship, since we projecting the bulletin and responses, hymns, etc. on the screen. It's not fair to ask that person to be there every Sat & Sun.
   I'm putting together Staycation VBS with PC(USA) material I found and low cost. Will stuff them with some small take-aways as I customize for each family.
   Still have July newsletter article to write, although I selected the hymns for July! Yay! Done!
   The worst has been that I caught my right fingertip in the sliding door of my van.. It just kinda
rolled closed, not a hard slam, but enough to hurt like...uhm...I'm not gonna say it! I shook it off,
went to the office typed on it, etc. for the next few days. Then I noticed a growing hematoma, on
my fingertip a bit under the nail. Oh, good Lord, how my finger would hurt, as it came in waves of intense pain. It didn't help that sometimes I bumped it while doing dishes, or against a counter, or
whatever. It hurt worse and worse sometimes it was all I could do not to pull my hair out. After 2 weeks, I went to the Doc. - antibiotics, e-ray; revealing I broke a chip of my finger tip bone.
Another visit to Doc, who used local by shot 3 times into my hurting finger and grubbed around, but
little puss. MRI and more antibiotics. Got referred to hand Dr. who didn't think I had a bone infection, just nerve damage along with the chipped bone. Pain meds that work pretty well for the most part and finger therapy exercises and vaseline on the damaged/healing tissue. It is getting better, although still so painful. Some of the calloused skin peeled off revealing new - like baby skin and it is soooo tender.
   This has hindered my typing, weeding, and doing all sorts of things so I don't bump my finger.
I do do dishes wearing a cleaning glove. It is now heading into week 7. Cripe! Who knew it
would take so long, although I am mostly thankful that there wasn't a bone infection as my Doc thought from the MRI. What a major relief!
  Things will pick up a bit in July - reopening worship a wedding and a baptism. Confirmation will be in August with 4 youth. Kinda glad it's so late as we had to wait on backordered crosses and the
other place only sent 3 of the 4 we ordered. We will recognize SS teachers in August as I get their
thank-you bags together.
   I'm so ready for a vacation! But very limited in where we can go, so to WI, the land of cheese and brats we go and visit with my sister and BIL. Just a few days to get away and have a change in
scenery. I want to do nothing but read and soak up a little sun and see the ever-changing Lake Michigan which is so high they have lost beach access - if there was a beach anymore. Still,
cedar trees and the lake are soothing.
   Time goes by whether we stay at home more or are running at a hectic pace. May God bless
our time and may we not waste too much of it.

SABBATICAL

So, I've always envied (I confess and have asked for forgiveness) those clergy who have been given and granted sabbaticals. In my nearly 37 years in ministry, I've never had a formal sabbatical.
  I was out of any positions for a year and mostly spent my time pursuing a position, cleaning house and cooking, praying for a position and lamenting that I didn't have any place to serve. Not the most
productive of times nor use of an unintentional sabbatical. (Yes, I did do some reading and was in a Spiritual Direction Program - where I had directees and papers to write, and supervision meetings. It was a 3 year program so I was in a way, working, just not drawing any kind of salary.)
  So here we are in this stay-at-home and work remotely time. When I can't make visits in the afternoons, when I have less to prepare for concerning worship on Sat. evenings and Sunday
mornings, no confirmation classes or Tues evening Bible Study classes, no making visits on Tuesdays and Thursdays for the other church. You can only call so many people only so often or write and send out those cards.
  One would think this is a bit of sabbatical time. One. would. think. Sigh. There are books I'm still reading and haven't finished. There are projects left undone. I haven't cleaned my windows yet. The books piled haphazardly on the den floor that slip down, hasn't been gone through, and books put in the basement. I haven't had any brilliant flashes of great insight. I spend way too much time yelling NO at the dumb greyhound we have that doesn't ever learn and for whom NO means nothing. I have been cooking more and there's always dishes afterwards - wooden salad bowls, wooden handled steak knives, serving bowls that take up too much room in the dishwasher, pots, pans and coffee pot.
   So, in a way, I could see this time as a sabbatical in way. I have loved the slower pace, not having my week go by in a blur, having time to breathe, to take a nap if I need to, to weed, to stand on the porch and watch for what is coming up in the flower bed: flower or weed, to not feel so stressed.
    However, my scholarly work has come up short. Sometimes, I start reading on the couch and
after awhile the eyelids droop and I'm out for an hour! I haven't worked on my writing either or been
very creative. (I did make LH and I, no sew masks out of T shirts.)
   I guess I need to be more intentional about this time, for it will not come again. And perhaps,
to appreciate this slower pace of life, which the Europeans have long practiced although not so drastically as with this pandemic. Maybe, not every moment of the day has to be filled in order to be considered productive, nor everything accomplished, not that it ever is in ministry. Perhaps, just being with God and resting in God's presence and love, of appreciating the gift of each day is
simply enough. Maybe, I'm just looking forward to retirement in 5 years, good Lord willing.
But this has been a blessing in a way. I think had I been younger and more in the midst of my
\ministry, more substantial work would have been accomplished in a sabbatical.
    But I will take this one, unintentional  and unconventional as it may be. And I will start back in the one challenging book I started.

EXILE

It certainly feels like exile. I miss the people I have been called to shepherd, love, care for and lead. I miss seeing their faces in familiar places in the pews. I miss seeing them on Sunday mornings in worship, singing together, communing together as the body of Christ, sharing coffee hour and confirmation classes with the kids. I miss making visits to our care facility people and homebound.
I miss it all. Well, most of it. Mostly, I miss seeing people and being with them.
   It's one thing to record a simple worship on Sunday mornings with no one present, except for the one taping me, and a whole other thing to worship with everyone physically present.
   And it seems like this will continue for quite some time to come. The one blessing of serving a smaller congregation is that we may be able to worship together sooner than the larger congregations where gatherings are limited to a certain number.
   I am mulling over how to do Confirmation in June. I have 4 youngsters getting confirmed and I am thinking that each will come forward one at a time (physical distancing) and when they say what they believe - the Apostles' Creed -  they can be 6 ft apart spread across the front of the sanctuary. One by one, they will come to the center chancel steps, and I will hover my hand over their head (as the Spirit hovered over the waters at creation) and pray for that one. They will go back to their place, and the next one will come up. Until all have been prayed over and for. They need to be confirmed and to celebrate this milestone in their faith journey. It's been 2 years of instruction and classes.
I haven't come up with much else, and am thinking this is way to do it this year.
Usually we have a cake and coffee afterwards. I don't know about that yet, but our social hall is huge and immediate family can sit together (afterall they have been staying at home together all this time) and we can really spread out. I will not be able to sit at tables with them, or anyone else. So we're together, but still apart. Sigh.
   Will just have to wait and see how we ease back into gathering again.
   I so want to recognize our Sunday School teachers as well.
   Still mulling over communion as well, since L church observes communion every week. We have order the sealed communion cup/wafer combo. I can place those sealed cups on the communion rail and people can walk up (6 ft. apart) in a single file and take their cup back to their pew. just giving things some thought.
   Any bright ideas out there anyone?
   In the meanwhile, I miss seeing my folks. Yes, they can be tiresome, petty, selfish, and quiet, but, oh, I still miss them and their faces!
    And I pray that God holds them in God's gracious and loving care, that they will stay healthy and well, that they will grow spiritually from all this, that they may grow in caring for one another and in
seeing how we need one another to be the body of Christ both scattered and gathered. I pry for wisdom, imagination, patience and openness to the new normal we will need to plan for and experience. And I pray for a hurting, anguished world that cries out for mercy to the Lord. May God hear our prayers and be gracious to us all, and every single one I miss seeing and being with.

 

SPRING 2020

Ahh, spring your beauty of grass as green as green can be, purple crocuses with bright orange centers that have bloomed, periwinkle anemones with their white star center, cheery yellow daffodils, bright yellow forsythia, tulips with buds still wrapped in green sleeves,  trees with buds just waiting to burst in flowers, sun that shines warm and days that grow longer, all belie the terror of the unseen enemy and bringer of death. How you are so different from all other springs I have known in my life.
   Full of rebirth, renewal and yet...not among us. You try to fill us with hope, but with each morning we wonder, are we next, is this my last day to enjoy, to savor, to give thanks for?
   Each night we give God thanks for another day of life, to see the beauty of creation around us, to be
together.
   It should start feeling like Easter, but it feels like Good Friday or Holy Saturday that goes on far longer than it did for our Lord and Savior. Oh, how we long for Easter. Oh, how we long to survive this modern day plague of coronavirus. Oh, how we long to celebrate Easter with our parishioners. There will be no Easter Egg Hunt for the youngsters. No Easter breakfast. No majestic organ sounding out, "Jesus Christ is Risen Today." And yet, He is risen. And yet Easter comes. Our celebration will be more subdued. But may we shout out in the face of death around us, Christ is Risen! Alleluia! May hope come and nestle within us. May we know that resurrection life is ours as well. No matter what happens, Christ has won for us eternal life, new life, life everlasting forever with God whom we so love and who loves us so deeply. There will be those who survive. But I cannot say for sure that I will be among them. I pray that I am but so are all the rest.
   Trust. Hope. Believe. Have faith. Stand firm with God. And love, each day and every day, every breath, every beauty, every meal shared together with spouse and family, every phone call and conversation with family, friends whom we cannot see or be with at this time.
   Spring such a beautiful time, help us, O God, to savor each day, each budding and blooming. Tot trust the promise of Easter fulfilled in Christ Jesus our Lord. To still shout out, "Alleluia! Christ is risen", for such a time as this, for us, for all of creation.
 

LAST DAY TOGETHER

in the M church I serve was sad. Although we are meeting remotely every Tuesday morning, it is hard not to be together in person.
   The Thursday before our last in person meeting, I had visited 3 parishioners in a care facility where I had my temperature taken and before it was closed down to all visitors. I am so thankful to have seen them both the husband & wife, and another woman and was able to bring them communion.
   When I arrived home, I emptied my communion kit and cleaned out the plastic bottle that held grape juice. That act of emptying the communion kit and eventually putting the top back on the plastic bottle really hit home to me that I wouldn't be able to serve parishioners the grace of the Lord
that we all so desperately need. Especially as we head towards Holy Week with Maundy Thursday and Easter Sunday celebration.
   It seemed like such a final act. There would be no communion for quite some time, whether at L  church or M church. We wouldn't be joined to Christ in the same way. Yes, by our faith, by our love one another as brothers and sisters in Christ we are joined together. But in this act of Christ Jesus giving himself to us in love is what I will miss.. That tangible act of tender love and giving of himself that I can share with the ones I serve is just so profound.. It makes God's love for us in Christ Jesus
so real - a way to smell, touch, see, taste and feel.
   I wept in my heart and felt the lump in my throat as the reality of our present situation and the threat of COVID19 become so very real.
   I pray for the day when the threat is over, people have recovered and we can once again rejoice
in being joined together in Holy Communion and taste again the utter grace of the love of Christ.
After this unintentional fast from Holy Communion, may it taste ever more satisfying than ever before, more filling, more loving and dripping grace and joy. May it so fill us with the goodness of Jesus' love that we could burst for sheer joy, so filled with love for one another and for all the world that our hearts can scarcely contain it.
   But until then, we fast and long.

EVEN MORE QUIET

today than over the weekend. There are no school buses running to pick up kids noisily gathered on corners to go to school. The kids are all home as we are. Moms and Dads aren't shuttling their kids to school buildings, they are home. For some there is no commute to work, they are home. For others, there is no work, period.
   And as we stay at home, it feels so oddly strange. As if we are waiting for the angel of death to pass and to pass over us. Every evening breathing a sigh of relief that we made it another day and stayed healthy. Every morning our first thought and prayer is for health. "Lord, may I not have the virus and may I have not spread it to anyone."
   Is this how the Israelites felt that night in Egypt when the angel of death passed over their homes and yet was all around them. This will be a long night for us. Every day watching for symptoms, taking our temperatures, hoping and praying, I am not one. Anguishing with those who are and with all the doctors and nurses who are overwhelmed already and don't have adequate supplies. Praying
every time we go out to the grocery store that we won't get ill. Hoping our supplies last long enough.
It's the uncertainty of it all.
   We are gripped in this pandemic and it feels like passover. Even our faith does not make us immune to falling ill or even dying.
    May I give thanks to God for each day. I give thanks to God for the love I've known and known in Christ my Lord. I gave thanks that up til this present moment, I can still work, still serve. I confess my sins, my failings, my falling short, when I doubt or don't trust enough. That I wasn't a good enough pastor or wife or friend. Wasn't giving enough, loving enough, forgiving enough.
   Ahh, but there is resurrection. In the midst of this Lenten darkness, we make our way to the tomb and discover, RESURRECTION. New life, eternal life. I pray for that day. Easter will come, not
just the date on the calendar. But EASTER, itself. I pray that I will be here to celebrate it, to revel in the joy of it, to breathe again and anew. But if I cannot, I will be still be celebrating the resurrection life with my Lord. For Jesus is the resurrection and the life. I will be more than merely a statistic, I will be home with my Lord forever. And I will be waiting for the rest of you to join in the feast of the banquet of life already happening and taking place where all God's faithful are gathered.
   In the meanwhile, we live this passover each day, with the Lord by our side, ever with us, ever
loving us, grieving with us. Prayers are with you all and for all the world.

 

TODAY

the 2 mile drive to church was eerily quiet. Traffic was so light, not many cars for a Monday morning when the school buses should have been making their rounds and moms and dads driving their kids to school. Sunday morning traffic was near non-existent.
   Yes, we had worship Sunday morning with 21 folks and made changes - no passing of the peace, no passing of the offering plates, communion was forward with little cups, not tables, and there was no handshaking following worship. We forget to tell the the couple who did coffee hour not to do so. So there was coffee and snacks. Several stayed even a physician and her husband who were visiting from the next town over where their Lutheran church was closed.
   I find that I am having to navigate differently in this strange landscape of isolation and separation. We are in exile, the diaspora of the faithful in the 21st century. I will be working with the church office administrator to try posting a facebook video and putting out website and facebook devotional minutes and thoughts, trying interactive where folks can post photos or comments on where they see grace in their day or week, things they are doing while social distancing, etc.
   I have some learning to do!
   I pray for our churches and faith communities as we find ways to stay connected and remember one another. To deliberately isolate and distance ourselves from one another is unnatural and moreso in our congregations when so much of who we are is about community. We have to redefine community or at least how to be community in this strange and threatening time. I pray God's Spirit be at work within us and all around us.
   Funny, our Tues. night Bible Study just finished Presbyterian Women's Horizon study on God's Promise: I Am with You. It was such a rich, full, satisfying, encouraging study and generated good discussion reminding us of God's promise to be with us from the Old Testament through the New Testament. I can't think there would have been a better study to prepare us for this trying, challenging time than to hold fast to God's promise of being with us when we feel powerless or discouraged. I pray that those who attended are holding this study close to them.
    I pray for all who are suffering, feeling isolated, lonely, grieving the loss of a loved one in our world. I pray for us all as we navigate providing spiritual care during this pandemic which for most of us is a new thing.
    I see the crocuses blooming - a sign of hope. I know that Easter services may not happen this year, but Easter still happens. The miracle of new life and life after death is the crux of our faith. It's what
gives us hope to face today, to face this pandemic, to face tomorrow and we do so knowing that God is with us, ever, always.
    Perhaps, when we survive this pandemic and see our way through, we, too, will breathe new life,
see life differently, feel the glory of freedom, relish again a hug, a handshake and coming together and being together may mean so much more. May we live for this day. May we look forward to this day and the Easter it will be.

O GOD OUR HELP IN AGES PAST

our hope for days (years) to come.
   I was simply astounded at the grocery store and W-Mart to see such empty shelves of paper products, pain relief, frozen veges, canned veges, peanut butter, etc. I usually do my shopping on Friday mornings and the grocery store had more people than usual on any given Fri. morning and there were check-out lines.
   I can understand being prepared but this panic is unhealthy. How much can people hoard especially items that will eventually expire?
   The man with 17, 700 hand sanitizers seeking to profit from this panic now has no where to sell them at inflated prices, taking advantage of a situation and vulnerable people. Donate the stuff back to the community and take a loss. It is people like you who prevent regular folks from being able to buy 2 bottles of hand sanitizers.
    We are still having church services at L church since we don't make the 100 people limit. We are offering Sat. communion with individual cups instead of intinction. We are suspending passing the
peace. But we are still worshipping in hope in the midst of this pandemic.
   We trust God who never fails us and who promises to be with us in all and any circumstances. May we be brave and courageous and still think of our neighbors. May we pray for the world and all who are ill, may we pray for families who will have their children home for the next 3 weeks, may we pray for doctors and nurses who are treating the ill, may we pray for microbiologist who are working hard to isolate this virus and find a way to curtail its spread. May we not panic or become too anxious, as we trust in the Lord our God. May the Holy Spirit lead us in creative ways to share hope and peace with the world. May families come back together to eat dinner around the table together,
have a night of board games and interact with one another. May they discover there are more important things than sports and all the other activities that so fill their lives. May they be lead to have good conversations and some quality time that bonds relationships forever.
   There will be graces even in the midst of this far-reaching, life altering (at least temporarily) pandemic. May we look for and see the presence of God and those graces even in this. May we
spend time in God's Word, in prayer, in reconnecting with God and with our families. May this slow down of our lives bring us in touch with what is most important, most dear to us.
    May stay healthy and well.

LENT

In the middle of Lent and still working on Good Friday service, haven't started Maundy Thursday service, let alone Easter and Joy Sunday.
    I did get an idea for May First Friday, so that is good.
   I could just use a day this week to work. But serving 2 churches part-time with one church nearly 3/4 time doesn't leave me much extra time in a week. Still have to prepare Confirmation Classes,
and Tues. evening Bible Studies.
   This coming Monday doesn't leave much time either. Work on sermon, council report, snack @ noon, leave for committal at national cemetery, back to church for brief remarks, prayer, & scripture, lunch, go home. Come back for evening council meeting with church redevelopment/mission statement discussion and then the meeting. Get home, do dishes, make salad for lunch next day, catch 11 pm news and crawl into bed.
  Sigh.
  That's kinda how my life is. I miss being able to reflect more deeply and fully. To allow the Spirit to work within me. Everything is hurry and go, go, go. I'm more of a plodder, ambler, stroller than a runner, sprinter, fast walker. I want time to reflect, to notice, to see. It's no wonder, I get so tired.  
   But we have bills to pay; mortgage, insurance - especially medical insurance which is nearly a third of our income! How insanely crazy is that?
   Just feeling old and tired, used up and worn out.
   Lord, help me to do all that needs to be done, to tend to the things and people who need tending. Grant me energy, enthusiasm and endurance for this Lent and Holy Week. Be with me. Amen.

DON'T KNOW WHY

I am feeling so uninspired lately. It was as if after all the Advent/Christmas planning and activity just sucked all the creativity out of me, and here I am staring at Lent, Holy Week and Easter wondering
just what I am going to do. This after a week of annual report, church newsletter writing, and an on-again, off-again funeral/committal with the widow in the hospital.
   I have been praying to God that by God's Holy Spirit to bring me inspiration, but I am still waiting.
   I have VBS on the back burner and how I will make the bible stories interactive. We have community First Fridays coming up with May being Chocolate and Art. Last year, I bought a bunch of brightly colored fabric and a parishioner who quilts, cut the fabric into small rectangles (5" x 8") and sewed an open hem on one side so that string could be threaded through. With markers and flags we invited whoever stopped during First Friday to make a prayer flag - draw or write something positive to send out into the community. We hung them outside the front of the church for a couple of months. Everyone seemed to enjoy that activity.
   That is a hard one to top! So what do I do this year? I some thought of somehow weaving strips of ribbon together or perhaps something with yarn. I'm looking for ideas, if you have any?
   Maybe, the creativity isn't flowing because I don't have enough time even to think and by evening I am too tired. I could've slept longer and later this morning, and no, I am not sick.
    I desperately want to do something small, simple and creative for Holy Week, Easter, Joy Sunday and for the May First Friday. I also know that I can't force it either. I don't have time to be patient!!!!!!!!!!!(Funny, huh?!) The weeks are going by and here it is just a week away from the
end of January.
    Oh, that something feasible would begin to flow and birth into being!
    Come, Holy Spirit, Come! Inspire me, energize me, lift me up from the lifeless dullness and tiredness - perhaps, acedia. Come, Holy Spirit Come!

A NEW YEAR

Thankfully, I survived December and actually, 2 packages of gifts arrived in time for Christmas and one was deliberately mailed to arrive after Christmas when my sister and BIL returned home from Colorado. Christmas cards got out in time as well. I don't know how I did it.
   But I was exhausted on Christmas Day!
   Our Christmas Eve services went well. Would've been nice to see a few more people and nice to see some of these folks in church during the year!
   The new greyhound is learning what it means to live in a house and not a kennel. He has put his feet on the kitchen counter, he swiped a bag of hamburger buns that LH had just bought for dinner and ate all 8 buns in about 2 minutes at most. I step out of the kitchen for a minute or two and they were gone! Every. last. one. of. them!
   I can remember saying NO, so much in my life as in this past month!! He is getting better. I don't have to say NO as much, but more than I would like. Remy is a loveable fellow. He likes to be rubbed, petted, hugged and kissed. He just get the zoomies first thing in the morning when I let him out of his crate and there isn't much room to zoom. So far no injuries. He's destroyed nearly every toy and I spent a month picking up white snow(stuffing) practically every day. Many of the toys are flat
and torn.
   LH has been good throughout December. But last Sunday morning at 3 am I had to take him to the ER for fast heart beat. Picked him back up after worship and confirmation class, just about lunch time. I told him, he didn't need to that on an early Sunday morning again! I know he can't help it, but...it was Sunday!
  Now it's planning for Lent and trying to get inspiration and imagination and creativity back. Feel a bit lackluster. Praying it will come back and quickly.
    Yesterday was the lunch bunch at the Methodist church, where the staff cooks potluck style and invites folks - often single to come and eat. We feed the pre-school teachers too. It was Luau and I made Island Sweet & Sour Meatballs (with pineapple, whole cranberry sauce and barbeque sauce).
I put the crockpot in a milk crate in the back of my minivan. Well, when I cleaned up and left the church, I went to put the crockpot back in the milk crated which I moved closer to me and saw
a tiny dead mouse behind the crate! Oh my goodness! I don't know how long that mouse, dead
mouse had been in the van. It wasn't a skeleton yet, but it wasn't fluffy, furry either. And it was
small. I very rarely use the back of the van. Ugghhhh...had to take a paper towel when I got home and
get rid of it. It never really smelled that bad in the van. But what a yucky, unexpected surprise.
   I could use another day in the week. But, I believe God in great mercy, made it just 7 days long, for our sakes.
   In the meanwhile, it's near 50 degrees today in NE Ohio which is unusual for January and the sun is shining, also unusual. God's reminder to delight in the now and tomorrow will work itself out.
   Hope the New Year has begun well for you and will unfold beautifully before you with richness,
beauty, grace and awesome adventures!