Friday, August 31, 2012

There is something sick and sadistic that I must inflict such torturous pain on myself in order to heal and get well. But here we are, every hour or two, I must engage in three different exercises to bend my knee. It is the last thing I want to do, but ever so necessary. It makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about doing it, let alone when I engage in self-torture. As if the pain at physical therapy isn't enough, I get to do more of it at home to myself.
Every week, there is something new. I endured a new procedure with a metal tool rubbed on my thigh to break up scar tissue. Today, I got to try the step machine again and with slight help, brought the left step down. And with careful control of the right leg, brought the left leg up but not all the way, yet.
On Wednesday, I graduated to a neoprene knee brace with a hinge that wraps around the knee - above and below it. It weighs about 1/2 lb and is far more comfortable than the 3/4 leg brace that weighed 10 lbs. ( abit of exaggeration, I know, but that's what it felt like)
When I asked the Doc if I was where I should be, his answer was there was a fine line between bending and retearing. But, if by the end of Sept. I was not far along enough, I would be facing being put to sleep and having a manipulation - bending the knee all the way and every way to break through scar tissue. I don't want to go there.
So, PT has stepped up and here I am, facing a long weekend of extra painful exercises. What fun!!! Not.
But I will do what I have to do and pray that God will give me the strength and ability to endure.
I will be using a dog leash to do this painful exercise. The handle wraps around my left foot and while lying on my stomach, I pull the leash over my opposite shoulder bending the knee until it is stretched as far as I can and hold it for 30 seconds. I get to repeat it three times and ought to do it every two hours. Pure and utter agony!
Who knew that Jett's old leash would become my tool for torture. Perhaps, his spirit and presence will be with me, encouraging me as I use it. I pray that will be so.
One day at a time, one week at a time, one exercise at a time. And with God's help and grace and power, I will see this through and will have full use of my knee again.

1 comment:

Crimson Rambler said...

I am sorry to learn of your pain -- praying for the best outcome to your therapy and exercises. (I'll ask St. Ignatius to get on it. He knows about legs.)