Monday, May 04, 2020

SABBATICAL

So, I've always envied (I confess and have asked for forgiveness) those clergy who have been given and granted sabbaticals. In my nearly 37 years in ministry, I've never had a formal sabbatical.
  I was out of any positions for a year and mostly spent my time pursuing a position, cleaning house and cooking, praying for a position and lamenting that I didn't have any place to serve. Not the most
productive of times nor use of an unintentional sabbatical. (Yes, I did do some reading and was in a Spiritual Direction Program - where I had directees and papers to write, and supervision meetings. It was a 3 year program so I was in a way, working, just not drawing any kind of salary.)
  So here we are in this stay-at-home and work remotely time. When I can't make visits in the afternoons, when I have less to prepare for concerning worship on Sat. evenings and Sunday
mornings, no confirmation classes or Tues evening Bible Study classes, no making visits on Tuesdays and Thursdays for the other church. You can only call so many people only so often or write and send out those cards.
  One would think this is a bit of sabbatical time. One. would. think. Sigh. There are books I'm still reading and haven't finished. There are projects left undone. I haven't cleaned my windows yet. The books piled haphazardly on the den floor that slip down, hasn't been gone through, and books put in the basement. I haven't had any brilliant flashes of great insight. I spend way too much time yelling NO at the dumb greyhound we have that doesn't ever learn and for whom NO means nothing. I have been cooking more and there's always dishes afterwards - wooden salad bowls, wooden handled steak knives, serving bowls that take up too much room in the dishwasher, pots, pans and coffee pot.
   So, in a way, I could see this time as a sabbatical in way. I have loved the slower pace, not having my week go by in a blur, having time to breathe, to take a nap if I need to, to weed, to stand on the porch and watch for what is coming up in the flower bed: flower or weed, to not feel so stressed.
    However, my scholarly work has come up short. Sometimes, I start reading on the couch and
after awhile the eyelids droop and I'm out for an hour! I haven't worked on my writing either or been
very creative. (I did make LH and I, no sew masks out of T shirts.)
   I guess I need to be more intentional about this time, for it will not come again. And perhaps,
to appreciate this slower pace of life, which the Europeans have long practiced although not so drastically as with this pandemic. Maybe, not every moment of the day has to be filled in order to be considered productive, nor everything accomplished, not that it ever is in ministry. Perhaps, just being with God and resting in God's presence and love, of appreciating the gift of each day is
simply enough. Maybe, I'm just looking forward to retirement in 5 years, good Lord willing.
But this has been a blessing in a way. I think had I been younger and more in the midst of my
\ministry, more substantial work would have been accomplished in a sabbatical.
    But I will take this one, unintentional  and unconventional as it may be. And I will start back in the one challenging book I started.