signs-along-the-way

2012-01-20T13:09:00.001-05:00

RGBP'S FRIDAY FIVE - MOVIES

It was 14 degrees, sunny, blue sky with high thin clouds when I left to run my errands and do some grocery shopping. By the time I arrived back home it had risen to 18 degrees. Now, it has clouded over and the snow is coming - probably enough to fire up the snowblower. Seems a good time to reflect on movies!
Thinking of movie-watching, what do you prefer?

1. At home or at a theater?
Haven't been to the theatre since The Passion of Christ. More's the
pity! We usually watch at home, when you can stop the movie, let the
dogs and go to the restroom.

2. With whom?
I went to "The Passion" by myself. Hard when you don't have family or
friends in the area. Usually, LH and I watch movies at home, although
we did see "March of the Penguins" in the theatre together.

3. Movie you look forward to seeing?
There are a couple, but I forget which ones, since we now wait til
they're shown on TV. By the time, they come to TV, I've forgotten
which ones they are. We so miss Blockbuster when you could go and
pick up a DVD. The home subscriptions are too expensive for just 2
movies a month. Redbox hasn't really had any movies I was interested
in seeing. So, we haven't done the Redbox route yet.

4. Movie you like to see repeatedly?
Oh, there's several - Fiddler on the Roof, Under the Tuscan Sun,
While You Were Sleeping, Sleepless in Seattle, Secondhand Lions,
Hatari, Master and Commander, Harry Potter movies, Bringing Up
Baby, The Desk Set, Fried Green Tomatoes,A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, Something's Gotta Give, Because I Said So, Casanova's Big Night, Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, October Sky,My Summer Story (sequel to A Christmas Story - just as entertaining) Elf, A Christmas Story, and etc.
I look forward to the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 & 2.

5. Food with a movie?
Buttery or cheesy popcorn, naturally!

Bonus: Recommendations for home/theater viewing
Since we're so behind the times, I'd best not offer any. See
the list above!!!!

2012-01-17T10:55:00.000-05:00

GREY DREARY DAY -
It's a soggy, rainy, grey day and I am stuck in the house as my van is getting healed. It began to make a weird whining whirr sound as I exited the interstate ramp early Sunday morning and continued down the main street and even into the church parking lot where a parishioner heard it. Interesting how these mechanical things happen not in your driveway as you return home but on the way to church and on a Sunday when there isn't much you can do about it. I drove home and it seemed ok. Late afternoon, I drove down again for a potluck and LH went with me. We heard it, though it was not as loud and really inconsistent.
However, I knew it could not be ignored. I was able to get an appointment late yesterday morning. The dealership is the closest one and they do huge volume business and even moreso after the closing of the dealership in our town. Their check in process alone is 15-20 minutes long!
Needless to say, it will be a very expensive repair - new water pump, new rack and pan for power steering, and the van won't be done 'til late afternoon today.
Being without the van today is really no big problem since I have to write a newsletter article anyway and plan for midweek Lenten program. There is no dearth of things to do at home. Mostly, I am chafing at the idea of not being able to go anywhere and being "stuck" at home. So, in a way, I have time and focus to write that article, to hem a pair of pants, and even do some reading. It all worked out as it needed to and with all the driving, my van will be
running well again.
I've taken my vitamin D, have the article well in hand, the books close by, and the sewing machine at the ready. The greys are snoozing comfortably in their beds and it's a good day to be home. LH went in to the office, so it will be nice and quiet for awhile.
May whatever this day brings be as it needs to be for you.

2012-01-13T13:19:00.000-05:00

SNOWY ARCTIC FRIDAY -
Wow, it's winter! First real winter driving on snow covered streets. I had no wait at the bank, found a great parking space at one grocery store and made it through in record time. Most of the elderly folks didn't venture out this morning. The dry cleaner was a quick in and out and the stop at W-mart included a decent parking space, no crowds, and quick check-out. The drive home went better. Now I'll just hunker down for the afternoon. I have two pairs of slacks to shorten and that seems like a good snow day project.
I did shovel some this morning as there was a 1 1/2 foot drift up against the garage door and by the time I came back it was at about 7 inches already. It's not snowing that much but the wind is blowing hard. The greys are not taking long outside as it's only 19 degrees.
I'm sure that attendence will be down at both Sat. evening and Sun. morning services. I suppose I will have to allow extra travel time as well.
Oh, the joys, of winter!
However, we have not yet had to fire up the snowblower!

2012-01-13T13:08:00.000-05:00

RGBP'S FRIDAY FIVE - RECOMMENDATION EDITION

1. Recommend a favorite worship resource or devotional book.
A devotional book I enjoy is Joyce Rupp's "May I Have This
Dance?" Also, Gunilla Norris' Gardening for the Soul or Mystic
Garden or something to that effect. It's about the tending of
the garden of our souls.

2. Recommend a blog that you like to read that you think others might find enjoyable.
I enjoy Skewed View, if only she posted a bit more often.

3. Recommend a fiction book that you think people might like.
The Ladies No.1 Dectective Agency series by Alexandar McCall Smith.
What an enjoyable read. And the first season, DVD set is really
nicely done. Too bad they didn't make more.
4. Recommend a favorite recipe website. O.k., if you aren't into cooking or food, then just recommend a random website that you find useful, hilarious, mind numbing or thought provoking.
Often I've gone to the Food Network just to check on some things.
I really don't troll the internet that much for blogs. I do go to
youtube for some fun!
5. And for the last recommendation--it's bloggers' choice! Make a recommendation for anything!
Cashmere blend socks for winter. They are soft and keep your toes/
feet warm without a lot of bulk. They are my absolute favorite thing
in these now turned cold and snowy winter days.

2012-01-09T10:18:00.000-05:00

JANUARY BEGINS -
It was a quiet week and a gentle week. I was able to do some reading, take down the Christmas decorations, and even make two visits to nursing home folks on my day in the office. I have so many more visits to go and can only do so many one day a week. Slowly, they are taking place.
Tomorrow is house cleaning day and it needs it since I didn't do it last week. It seems like every time I turn around, it's either time to clean house or write a newsletter article for the church newsletter!!! They both seem to come around more frequently than anything else!
I pray that your new year has started well. That there is room and space for gentleness and quiet.
It has been a strange winter. We are snowless once more after receiving about two-three inches last Sunday/Monday. By Friday and Saturday, with the sun and warm temperatures it was all melted away. On Wed. we are supposed to reach near 50 degrees again. Usually that happens only once sometime during the winter - a tease, a reminder, a promise of what will come again to ease our frozen and cold souls. I have contended that with the harsh winters of the last two years, that we are due for a milder winter. Perhaps, this is that winter. Week two of January and we aren't a frozen wasteland!!! I will savor this. It may not last. There are still 7 weeks until March, but somehow, at the moment, that doesn't seem such a long time.
I do miss the snow covering the lawns, the bushes and trees. I don't miss driving in it and the bitterly cold wind that whips right through you.
I know there will be some of that yet to come. The crocuses, iris, tulips and daffodils need some insulating snow cover.
I'm thinking I should do a pool - how many times will LH have to start up the snowthrower this winter? I'm thinking perhaps two times at most.
Any takers? Any guesses?

2012-01-03T10:44:00.000-05:00

NEW YEAR EXCITEMENT -
There we were gathered around the kitchen table with LH's sisters, when LH noticed something furry on the back fence. We all gazed out the sliding glass door and beheld a cat perched on the top of the 4 foot high fence in the wind and the snow flurries.
We had seen that cat around the neighborhood before. It was without collar or tags and went into ours and neighbors front flower beds.
LH opened the door and out ran Renoir, who noticed something different about the fence and gingerly went up to it. The cat hissed and arched its back at least a couple times.
Then LH released Jazz who was all too interested and out of the door he bounded and ran right to the fence and jumped on the fence. There commenced a flurry of hissing, running and a greyhound with a cat in its mouth, and a cat on the ground and I couldn't take the scene. LH ran out and thankfully, the fighting cat ran way up the river clump birch tree and the dogs came in. We thought that the cat would be scared off by two quick dogs that were four times its size. But that cat was a feisty fighter and wasn't going to simply hop off the fence and run away.
The dogs were proud to have chased and run down what they saw as prey.
The poor cat stayed in the tree for a good long time and slowly inched
its way down the tree. It took almost an hour. I'll bet its heart was still pounding and thankful for nine lives, one of which was probably used up that very afternoon.
I doubt that we will see that cat anywhere near our backyard any more. The dogs have settled down with good memories of a winning chase until LH spoiled it. And I am relieved that the cat lives and hopes it has learned its lesson.
To all furry things that would seek to invade our property, be ye warned, the greys are fast and won't tolerate trespassers!!!!(To all bunnies, cats, and various critters) To you, cat owners in the neighborhood, keep you cat indoors for we cannot vouch for its safety once it comes into our yard.
That was enough excitement to last me the long month of January!

2012-01-02T18:57:00.000-05:00

NEW YEAR -
Dontcha just love a new year that begins so fresh and clean, so newborn, so full of hope and endless possibilities?
So far, I haven't messed up anything.
Well, except that the Eucharistic Prayer preface in my worship folder was the Easter preface instead of the Christmas preface. But, I doubt that anyone really noticed during worship, except me. Which just goes to show you that perhaps, most people aren't paying that close attention to the Eucharistic Prayer!!
Must remember that the secretary just doesn't know the ins and outs of all the liturgy. But, I never did tell her to change the prayer. Sigh. Just
have to keep working on it and pray that she gets it in time and doesn't see it as criticism of her. She's more sensitive than she lets on. And is the quirkiest church secretary I've ever worked with.
Looks like I've got some work cut out for me in this fresh new year!
After 27 years in ministry, even this low-church Presbyterian does know
a thing or two about liturgy!!
It's going to be an interesting year and I feel an Easter Vigil coming on....
Happy New Year to all. May it glisten and sparkle like fresh fallen snow with hope, possibilities and new adventures in faith!

2012-01-02T18:48:00.000-05:00

One Last Lesson of 2011:

Just because a brownie looks delicious, doesn't mean it is.
At our last Advent Potluck at the Church of Another Denomination, there was
an plate of exquisite looking brownies and I couldn't wait to have one. It was THE worst brownie I've ever eaten. Maybe the mix went bad, or it was a cheesy brownie mix to begin with. Then, it had a burnt taste to top it off.
Perhaps, that's why they were frosted so nicely. Yuck!!

2011-12-29T11:28:00.000-05:00

END OF YEAR PEEVE -
Why is it that every time LH and I go out to eat in a restaurant the salt and pepper shakers are always overfilled? When you go to shake out pepper you can shake 'til the cows come home and barely get a grain or two. When you unscrew the cap, pepper granules spill out all over the table. I am not a messy person, nor hard to serve or please. However, I do like to add pepper to my veges or meat or potatoes.
To all you restaurant supervisors/managers, please tell your wait staff NOT to overfill the shakers. They should be 3/4 to 2/3 filled, so that diners can shake out what they desire and not leave a mess for the busboy or busgal to clean up.
Thank you very much.

2011-12-27T10:39:00.001-05:00

POST CHRISTMAS -
Christmas came again this year, as it does each year no matter our circumstances or situations. Christmas finds a way to slip in beside us and settle in the manger of our hearts and lives. Each one uniquely different.
This year was no exception.
The Church of Another Denomination printed a very optimistic multitude of bulletins. There was great expectation and it was unfortunate that we did not come close to 200. 112 was the number. The head usher was a bit flumoxed that the candlelighting would be a bit different with ushers lighting the people at the end of the pew, instead of people picking up a candle and having it lit as they made their way back to their pew seat from
partaking of communion. A sort of dangerous practice and the first ones to commune would have their candles burning for quite some time.
Communion was also a wee different, as I again, had the manger with straw and a loaf of bread wrapped in white linen and offered a true invitation and my own Great Prayer of Thanksgiving which included the singing of "Gloria in excelsi Deo" refrain from Angels We Have Heard on High. The post-communion canticle was sung to "Hark the Herald Angels Sing"
and the "Lamb of God" was replaced by the fourth verse of "O Little Town of Bethlehem", which made for a festive communion. I intoned the words, "The Bread of Heaven come down for you" as I gave the bread to each one. It was visually and aurally rife and dripping with meaning and symbolism.
I got home about 9:30 pm and was mightily disappointed that the brie LH had bought was no good! There was quite an odor that wasn't obvious the day he bought it, but the rind was darker and not white on the bottom. So, fortunately, LH had bought some Jarlsberg Swiss and that sufficed but didn't go with the Nicolas Feuillatte champagne as well as Brie does. NF is my favorite champagne - bubbly but I never get a headache from it. It's crisp and clean - just like champagne ought to be.
Christmas Day we had a few more in the cavernous sanctuary than I had expected. I tried to do a pool - I came up with 25, one parishioner who helped light candles suggested 10, the assisting minister and organist didn't give an estimate - so I suppose I won since we had 38!!
I focused on the Isaiah passage and read a wonderful story by Norman Vincent Peale called "A Faraway Christmas". It was a very nice, warm service.
Afterwards, I got home earlier since there was no Sunday School and changed, had lunch, fed the greys, LH came home, had lunch then we opened our gifts and promptly went down for our naps. Late afternoon, we made several calls to our families and enjoyed talking with them and thanking them for their wonderful gifts. LH surprised me with a beautiful sterling silver bangle bracelet from the Scottish Jewelry Designer - Sheila Fleet. The three interlocking waved bangles move and change configuration which is evocative of waves. Truly unique and since I'm so intuned to water, it was perfect.
My brother-in-law and sister-in-law in Canada surprised me with a pair of winter olympic Canada mittens - red with a white maple leaf on each hand, just like the Canadian olympic athletes wore!!! They are great!!!
Although, we never did get a tree to put up, I bought a small swag of greens that I placed on a Christmas placemat and added a pine and cedar scented candle and it was lovely.
There was peace, a quiet joy, and a spirit of love that infused this Christmas. And hope was present as well. A quieter, low-key, simple Christmas but beautiful nevertheless.
I pray that Christmas crept in beside you and left you the gifts that your heart and spirit longed for - the Christ child - and a deeper connection and love for the Lord. May His peace be with you all these days of Christmas and throughout the New Year.

2011-12-16T11:44:00.000-05:00

RGBP'S FRIDAY FIVE - TO DO LIST

This Friday we're asked to name 5 items on our To-do List as Christmas
fast approaches and anything we've decided to skip this year. So, here goes:

1. Wrap staff gifts and write their cards.
2. Wrap LH's gifts.
3. Wrap SIL's gifts.
4. Cards and tip for newspaper carrier and mail carrier.
5. Launder white linen and white cotton towels for Christmas Eve
communion.
6. Order bread for Christmas Eve Communion service.(Threw that in extra, just a reminder for me!!!)
This year, I'm skipping baking Christmas cookies, putting up and decorating
a Christmas tree, and our Island Sweet & Sour Meatballs on New Year's Eve, we'll enjoy them New Year's Day instead. Can't stay up too late since we
have services on Christmas Day and New Year's Day! LH has to get the Brie for Christmas Eve. The champagne is already in the basement waiting to get
chilled!

2011-12-10T11:20:00.000-05:00

RGBP'S - FRIDAY FIVE - RANDOMNESS
In the thick of Advent, just some random thoughts and goodness:
1. Gifts have been wrapped. packaged and sent. Woohoo!!! Still have
to work on staff gifts and LH.

2. Christmas letters to overseas family and friends have been signed,
sealed and sent! Christmas cards still need to be done.

3. The sausage bread I made for the Advent potluck was a hit, again!
Came home with no left-overs, even though the recipe makes two
loaves and there was a table full of food. Guess who's making it
again this week? Dare I hope to bring some leftovers home?

4. The sermon for Sunday came together fairly well. Still have to work
on the Children's sermon. Cut lots of brightly colored ribbon for
worship so folks can shout out their joy and wave a ribbon. This
congregation needs play a little in the wake of all they've been
through.

5. There was a package that came for me on Tuesday from a parishioner
from the last church I served. What a surprise! It was a green
prayer shawl and I've worn it every evening - enveloped in prayer
and warmed by love! What a wonderful gift to receive out of the blue.

2011-12-06T09:26:00.001-05:00

HALFWAY THROUGH ADVENT
and I wonder where it goes so swiftly. Had a wonderful Advent 2 Sunday complete with a baptism of a beautiful baby girl, granddaughter of parishioner. I was so taken by her, I almost lost my place in the responsibilities of the parent section of the liturgy!!! What a precious handful to walk down the aisle with to meet folks.
Tomorrow will be our second Advent/potluck and I still have to prepare for the program.
Then there's the sermon writing for Sunday and final touches on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
LH and I decided not to get a Christmas tree this year. I will put up our nativity, hang stockings, and the candles are already in the windows glowing softly at night. LH did string lights on the newport plum out front and it looks nice.
With Christmas Eve and Christmas Day services, we will be ever so busy and so a simple Christmas seems to be in order.
I am still writing Christmas cards, the German Christmas letters are
done and awaiting LH's signature and paw prints (the greys' signatures), and there are still gifts to be wrapped and packaged to be mailed.
Seems I'm behind this year, even though I'm home more. Maybe, the older I get, the longer it takes to accomplish things. I don't know!
But, I am enjoying listening to the Christmas music and did my yearly, helped someone in need who came to the church whose need was different from
what the Salvation Army usually helps with. I was blessed to be a blessing and pray that the one helped would have fresh start. Then there was the
unexpected trip to the children's hospital to check on the custodian's son in ER and that went very well. We all continue to pray for the healing of this young boy.
So, although Advent appears to be moving swiftly there are those moments of pure grace, blessing and joy where time stands still and the Holy One enters in.
May you find those moments in your Advent season.

2011-11-25T13:37:00.000-05:00

THANKSGIVING AFTERMATH -
Tired! After two days of cooking, working, writing a sermon, polishing silver, washing crystal and china, setting the Thanksgiving table, stuffing and roasting the turkey, decarcassing the turkey, and doing all the dishes by hand by myself, I'm tired. The silverware is back in its drawer, the china has been put back in the china cabinet, the tablecloth is in the washer, the stuffing has been frozen and the stock is awaiting being put in little tubs and frozen for any recipes calling for chicken broth.
We enjoyed a blessed Thanksgiving with LH's sisters and the food was good. They brought the green bean casserole which is always so yummy and some homemade banana bread.
The boys, Jazz and Renoir behaved very well, except for coming into the kitchen as the turkey was roasting and just sniffing the most wonderful aroma that, of course, for dogs is surround smell!!!!
Today, I am working on my Christmas letter in English and German. And trying to find a book I was going to use for my children's sermon Sunday. Haven't unearthed it yet.
Next will come the wrapping and packing of Christmas gifts so they can
get out in the mail.
But the weather is sunny and in the 50's and I have my butterfly bush and Siberian Iris leaves to prune. There will be a walk with Jazz and Renoir this afternoon.
Thankfully, I was gifted with a morning to sleep in, a quick run to the
grocery store for our weekly items, the bank, and the car wash. Errands accomplished and ran into no traffic and huge crowds where I went. WhooHoo!
I avoid crowds and the insanity of Black Friday.
Just going to enjoy the day and rest some.

2011-11-18T17:28:00.000-05:00

RGBP'S FRIDAY FIVE - AN AMERICAN THANKSGIVING

1. Where will you be on Thanksgiving Day? With whom?
LH and I will be here at home and joined by my SILS, his sisters.
Jazz and Renoir are already salivating over turkey tidbits. We will
be missing LH's Dad who passed away last December.

2. Are there any family traditions or memories associated with Thanksgiving?
Most of them revolve around the food, the items made. I always enjoyed
wonderful Thanksgivings growing up with my family who learned to
make turkey and the trimmings as immigrants and did it very well.

3. What will be on your Thanksgiving menu?
Turkey! (Whoohoo!!) Missed it last year. Wild rice, rice, bread
stuffing made with Sweet Italian sausage, bacon, white wine, homemade
turkey stock, mushrooms and seasonings. Yum. Mashed potatoes, sweet
potatoes, wheat rolls, whole cranberry sauce, and SILS will bring the
green bean casserole. Pumpkin Mousse dessert will take the place of
Pumpkin Pie - so much lighter and easier to digest. A chedder cheese
ball will our appetizer. There will be drinks and Bella Sera Pinot
Grigio to complement the turkey. Oh, and homemade gravy.

4. Are you trying anything new this Thanksgiving?
Nope. Just the usual which we missed last year. Although, I may
have a Flying Elephant after dinner. (Amarula, Kahlua, & Grand
Marnier). Basically, a variation of a B-52 which uses Bailey's.
I prefer Amarula from South Africa.

5. What is the weather forecast for this day (next Thursday)?
We pray it will be cold Wed. night to store the stuffing in the
garage overnight. We hope it will be in the 40's, cool enough to
offset the warmth of the oven and roasting turkey and the warmth
of our being together with family.

Bonus: Prayer, poem, song, or whatever you choose to exemplify your image of Thanksgiving (giving thanks).
This year around the table,
we'll count our blessings, one by one.
But we'll all be mostly thankful
if the turkey comes out done!!! (Martha Bolton)

2011-11-17T11:42:00.000-05:00

HOLIDAYS & FRUITCAKE
With the holiday season nearly upon us, I ran across this useful bit of information that might come in real handy!

USES FOR A FRUITCAKE:

Use as sandbags during heavy rains and flooding
Use as railroad ties
Use as speed bumps to foil neighborhood speeders
Use as bowling pins
Use slices in skeet-shooting competition

2011-11-15T12:20:00.000-05:00

The Gift of Goodness -
In the congregation I was serving at the beginning of the year, I gave out star gifts on the Sunday before Epiphany as a way for them to be with the gifts of God for them in the coming year.
The star I picked (without seeing what was written upon it, which is the point of the Holy Spirit leading us to that which we most need) was "goodness". Great, I thought, somewhat sarcastically, now there's a hard one! I was thinking I would recieve one far more challenging. But this star gift of "goodness", was a reminder to me to look for the goodness that is everywhere and all around me every day.
I know I acknowledged the goodness of having an apartment to stay in while away from home, although, I struggle the whole time, with being away from home. I knew the goodness of coming home to stay!
This summer, I enjoyed the goodness of working in the garden, tending to our sick grey, the goodness of a cleaner house, the goodness of time with LH. Then there was the goodness of going to see my sister and being on Lake Michigan. The goodness of stopping by to see my niece and spend a wee bit of time together. I appreciated the goodness of an airconditioned van while driving in the heat and the goodness of an airconditioned home. The goodness of safe journeys and travel.
In an odd way, there was the goodness of my aunt's passing away. She was so ready to go for the past few years, had been longing for it, even within the mists of Alzheimer's. So, as sad as it was to lose my last aunt, there was goodness in her release. There was goodness in being to go
to Switzerland and to share what my aunt meant to me and my sister at her
Memorial Service. It was good to fly and be with my sister again, to see and be with my most of my cousins. I was graced with the goodness of spending a whole week with my closest cousin, to experience a part of Switzerland I had never been to, to share with one another the challenges and graces of our lives, to engage in deep spiritual conversations, to enjoy good food and a boccalino of wine as well as the beauty of lake and mountains.
Having to put down Jett was so very hard. The goodness was that he was
still with us when I returned home. The goodness was that he didn't have to suffer more than he did and love was there til the end.
There is goodness in this challenging interim that is so part-time and makes for some disjointed ministry, yet, there is time to read, to tend to our home, and do things.
Then there is the goodness of welcoming a new greyhound into our lives.
And that's when it hit me! Renoir is goodness, itself. All of our greyhounds have had a certain soul - Earl was without fear, stable, brave and giving. Baruch the Beagle was cute, but full of the dickens. Ben was a gentle, sweet soul. Jazz is our irrepressible soul. And now this one, Renoir, just plain goodness. Not one accident, did stairs, eats well, is quiet but curious, hasn't destroyed anything. Just pure goodness.
This year has been good, filled with goodness and it took a new greyhound with a good soul to point it out to me!!!
Oh, I may grouse about all the extra time I'm putting in for this interim, but it is good for me to serve again, challenging though it is.
My cup overflows with goodness, then surely mercy shall be with me all the days of my life. God has shone God's goodness in so many places in my life this year, many unexpected. And I am radiant with the goodness poured into my soul and spirit. What a gift to receive and be given this year. Thanks be to God!

2011-11-10T14:25:00.001-05:00

GREYT NEWS!
As of Monday, November 7th, we are the proud guardians of a new greyhound!
We spent most of the day travelling in my van to the Hoosier State to check
out three greys that we were matched for us - 2 males and 1 female. Jazz was a good sport spending 11 hours in the van and travelling in one day. He did kind of complain the last 2 hours for a bit. Not that I can blame him!
The female was a petite thing, but somewhat dominant and had a penchant for shredding her toys. Poor Jazz - he does not want his toy hoard shredded nor does he want to be dominated by a female! One male was a stunning grey - a red brindle whose brindling was very striped and looked like deep redwood. He also was a bit dominant and into everything. The very first male we saw was shy, white with "banana" brindle patches, long narrow muzzle.
We looked at him again after we looked at the others and he came into the room with more confidence the second time. Bright-eyed, curious, with a notch torn from his ear in a racing accident, he seemed to be the best fit for us and for Jazz. He also had been living at the rescue organization for a year. He's not quite 5 years old, raced in Iowa and Florida and had a decent racing record - won at least a dozen races! A champion!
He seems fairly bright. We will wait for his personality to really blossom in this coming year.
His racing name was from a movie, his nickname was from an animated movie and he didn't seem to care about his nickname at all. It drew nary a real response from him when we called him that. Hmmm...he obviously needs a new name for his new life. LH and I have been blurting out names since Monday. Nothing seemed quite right. Felt bad calling him "Newbie" because some day
he'll, hopefully, be the senior dog as Jazz is now.
Then yesterday evening, I looked at him and it hit me. Renoir! If Renoir had painted a greyhound - this one would've been it. There's just something about him - the white with brindle patches, the narrow muzzle, the bright eyes, his beautiful, elegant gait in the backyard - that brought up, Renoir.
Even better, he likes the name and reacts to it!!!
It's a funny thing, choosing a name. It has to fit the dog. The dog should react to it. The name gives identity. It belongs to us and becomes us. Where would we be without a name? Even a dog needs a name, an identity, to belong to the pack, to know they are counted as one beloved.
So, now we have a Music and Art theme going with our greys - Jazz and Renoir! Who would've thought it!
I can't wait for his personality to come forth. He handled the front steps after a 5+ hour van ride home with the greatest of ease and no hesitation. He has had no accident in the house and goes out. He is neat and clean, a picture of good health. I never thought I'd really be that taken with a white greyhound with brindle patches, but there is something in his eyes that shines forth.
We are thrilled to welcome Renoir into our lives and home. A masterpiece of a greyhound and already precious to me.
So, that's the Greyt news here after being busy serving the new church with an extra service this past All Saints Sunday afernoon - yup, two sermons this week and busily preparing for midweek Advent potluck gatherings, the pre-school chapel time, oh, and Christmas Eve - which isn't
planned out yet, and a baptism to plan on the second of Advent. Now, it's all about the Renoir for this week and the sermon for this Sunday!!!

2011-10-29T10:03:00.001-04:00

RGBP'S FRIDAY FIVE - What Lifts You UP?
Sally posts:
Over the last few weeks I have been struggling with depression, I know that from reading other folks blogs that I am not alone in this, and from time to time if not suffering from depression that everyone feels down. With that in mind I wonder what lifts you? So I'd like you to share 5 things:

1. A Scripture- it might be a verse or a whole book!
Jeremiah 29:11-14 "For surely I know the plans I have for you, says
the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a
future with hope. Then when you call upon me and come and pray to me,
I will hear you. when you search for me, you will find me; if you
seek me with all your heart, I will let you find me, says the Lord,
and I will restore youfortunes and gather you from all the nations
and all the places where I have driven you, says the Lord, and I will
bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile."
This passage always gives me hope and assurance helping me to trust
in God.

2. A piece of music.
Keep Your Eye on the Prize - Marty Haugen & Dona Penna; We Come
Dancing. A powerful, upbeat song that inspires me.

3. A place.
Home with LH and my greyhound always comforts and supports me,
soothes me and uplifts me.

4. A person/ group of people
LH and my sister. They encourage and support me with their
wisdom, love, and insights.

5. Something you do...
Hmmm...some good Swiss chocolate and a glass of ice cold skim milk
always seems to help.

2011-10-27T15:34:00.000-04:00

NOW PANIC AND FREAK OUT
as opposed to STAY CALM AND CARRY ON!
After a 3 hour worship and music meeting, we were all fried. I still working on the extra All Saints Sunday service and the Music Minister is asking me for a finished Christmas Eve service. Right! I am so not there yet, and I have to work on that in the next two weeks.
I am stessing and weary already over what is yet to come and knowing I am putting in way more hours than I am being compensated.
I still have to put together a children's chapel for the pre-school and finding CD's with songs they can learn, plus a Bible story and prayer.
They need at least 2/3 time to address and deal with and do what they need to deal with and do.
And into this craziness, I must stay firm, grounded in Christ and let the whirlwind swirl around me and try to be a non-anxious presence, honor their tradition and yet prod them into change.
I'm not thrilled with my Reformation Day Sermon, but we will all live through it. I'll pack my Gummi Worms, so the kids can have a treat in honor of good ol' Martin Luther and the Diet of Worms!!!
I think I'll go curl up for awhile while I contemplate Mid-week Advent Gatherings....

2011-10-20T11:48:00.000-04:00

INCHING -
Slowly I am getting to know what is wanted, needed at the church I am serving. Slowly, I am finished getting the beds ready for winter. If it would stop raining for a day or two, I could get it done! We've broken a record for the wettest year and it is only mid-October.
Slowly, LH an I are inching toward welcoming a new greyhound into our hearts and home. Jazz will have to get used to sharing again, but it will be good for him. We pray it will be a good match and slowly the anticipation of welcoming a new grey is rising up. How could we not give a second chance at life, at life with a home, with soft doggy beds, special treats, milkbones, good left-over tidbits in a meal, and lots of rubs, hugs, and scratches just where it itches and they can't quite reach, and love and tenderness to a hound who has never known such things but were mere whispers of something more beyond the track life with cold, steel, hard cages, mushy sometimes rancid food, handlers, trainers and owners who regard you as a commodity rather than a beloved pet, and always having to run faster and your best, to save your life? Yes, we are slowly getting excited to adopt a new grey even in the midst of what will be a very busy season in the life of the church and our lives as we serve them. But into this mess of busyness and holidays - we will make room to welcome a new grey and stretch the expanse of love we have and know.

2011-10-13T11:48:00.000-04:00

ANOTHER NEW RHYTHM -
Still trying to get into this new rhythm of being at the church one day a week and the two services on Sat evening and Sun. morning. Although, I will have to go in Monday evening for their church council meeting, and I am spending time at home, preparing and writing sermons. So, I am putting in more time than what is on paper. It's just that way, when part-time.
I spent some time in the garden cutting down some spent flowers and pulling grass where it ought not to be growing. In the back, I pulled the thyme (and lots of it), marjoram (not much) and my really spent tomato plants. I plucked a few tomatoes off and hope they ripen in a paper bag. I pulled weeds and planted my garlic buds. I have yet to cut down the oregano since the bumblebee was still on it.
I throw some fertilizer around, since I have to give back to the earth what it has yielded and given up in this growing season. I also put down a layer of Sweet Peet. What a beautiful thing Sweet Peet is! Dark, moist, organic and rich. It does the soil so much good. Every fall and spring, the back garden gets a layer of Sweet Peet and it has really helped. It felt good to give back after receiving so much - tomatoes, chamomile, parsley, sage, tarragon, basil, thyme, rosemary, oregano, marjoram, hyssop, chives and garlic. I have made tomato sauce for lasagna this winter, pesto sauce - all frozen in cubes and ready to be used, and tarragon vinegar. I will have fresh and dried herbs to use at Thanksgiving and throughout the year. I feel truly blessed and know that the ground can rest in these next months. And spring will come and it will give and yield itself again.
LH and I are hoping also to welcome a new grey into our lives and home and provide Jazz with a buddy. Will see how that develops.
To Lutheran Chik, so sorry to hear of your health problems after a "routine" procedure. Prayers are with you. Don't know why your site won't let me leave a comment, so hopefully you will read this to know, prayers are with you.
I have been limping along with bursitis or tendonitis of the Achilles tendon and ankle joint. I guess the church is telling folks they have a "lame" interim pastor!!!!!!!!!
Slowly, it is getting better? with the pain traveling all around the ankle, but at least I can walk better now. Oh, the bane and blessing of middle-age.
I am feeling very blessed and graced in this season of harvest and thanksgiving. Eucharisteo arises from within and without. Thanks be to God!

2011-10-06T11:42:00.000-04:00

WITH FEAR, TREMBLING AND FAITH -
I am beginning this new interim. It doesn't help that they have a bad taste in their mouth from a not helpful last interim time 11 years ago. The fact that they have brought it up, shows it is still in their memory. I pray that my grounded, usually joyful, self and love will win them over. But, I remember that I am a woman clergy and that in itself will be a challenge, as well as their healing, moving forward, and preparing themselves for new leadership. I pray that I will bring some freshness and offer some healing for them in this time. I pray that they and I will renew our faith in God and God's goodness to us even in times of challenge and uncertainty. I pray that their anxiety will abate some and their fears will be transformed to hopefulness of God's endless possibilities.
As I prepared myself for this new challenge in serving and loving Christ's beloved that is this congregation of a different denomination, I thoroughly lost myself in Ruth Haley Barton's "Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership" which I would recommend to all clergy.
Ruth writes in such a loving, wise way using Moses as an example of leadership in ministry. Her practices at the end of each chapter are so helpful, prayerful and reflective. The prayers she has choosen for each
chapter are also so meaningful. This is not a book to read through quickly, but one that takes time for prayer, thought and reflection. She is very in tune with the isolation and loneliness of spiritual leadership. She points the way to the hopeful grace and freedom of being deeply grounded in faith and in an intimate relationship with God. I will probably re-read and reflect on this book often. And although, I know the process of discernment, especially with groups, she has a most wonderful, gentle and understanding way of explaining it and sharing it.
I would really enjoy a seminar with her - perhaps a RGBP's BIG EVENT! Although, I'm sure she would have a hefty fee.
So, I begin this new adventure to which God has called me, knowing it is a tender time in the life of this congregation, that I have much to learn about them and the way they do things, that I will be scrutinized, that I will need to stay very grounded, that I rely on God and God's grace for all I am and do and as I serve with wisdom, gentleness, peacefulness, joy and love. And in the wonderful mix of it all, God will be there for us all. Thanks be to God!

2011-09-30T16:37:00.001-04:00

RGBP'S FRIDAY FIVE - HOME SWEET HOME

Rev Songbird writes:
I've got home on my mind: what it feels like, how we make it, what we carry from the past and how we separate other people's leftovers from objects that really reflect our identity. My family has had one home for the past 13 years, the longest I've ever lived anywhere. As the time when all the children are gone comes closer, I wonder where my next home will be?

So here are five questions about home.

1) Where was your first home?
A duplex in a very Italian Roman Catholic suburb just west of the Windy
City right across from the elementary school. We had a backyard with a swingset and a sandbox with little CAT tractors (from Dad) to play with. There were even garter snakes in summertime. This was my parents first owned home. Before,they had lived in an apartment. It was a brick two-story
with two bedrooms and one bathroom that 4 of us shared. We played in the
basement and I remember it getting flooded once with a 1/2 foot of water after a major rain. We played hide and seek behind the laundry sink and furnace.

2) Do you ever dream about places you used to live?
Not really. I dream of strange places that I have never been or lived.

3) If you could bring back one person from your past to sit at your dinner table, who would you choose?
Probably my Dad. He was a good dinner table conversationlist, although
somewhat argumentative. I miss him a lot and his wisdom.

4) What's your favorite room in your current living space?
Living room/kitchen - it's an open floor plan and where I spend the
majority of my time, aside from sleeping in my bed. Of course, I
do spend time in the den/sewing/ironing room where I'm on the
computer. But mostly, it's the living room/kitchen area where I'm either
cooking, preparing a meal or cleaning up, or on the couch reading or watching TV so I can be in company of our grey, Jazz.

5) Is there an object or an item where you live now that represents home? If not, can you think of one from your childhood?
My pillow/bed/duvet. They are comforting, warm, somewhat soft and
allow me to rest my exhausted mind and body. It is a retreat and
where I can sink into oblivion.
In our guest bedroom, there is picture of Gandria, Tessin,
Switzerland that hung in my parent's bedroom and reminds me of their
sanctuary in our home where all was safe and secure. Funny, it was only
this summer that I actually saw Gandria! It just represented Switzerland
and all our family ties - although my family is from the German speaking
part and not Tessin - the Italian part.

2011-09-21T10:33:00.000-04:00

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU PRAY FOR -
So, yesterday evening I received a call from the church where I interviewed. I had thought that they would call their denominational office yesterday morning to ask what other interims they could interview. They did call the denominational office but to request the proper paperwork to be filled out. Apparently, I impressed these poker faced folks. It just goes to show you, that you never know. I think God likes to surprise one in that way. Just when you think it is over or hope shrivels up, bam! God puts it right in your face and surprises you.
I feel like I'm walking into the lion's den here. The folks are very wounded, anxious, fearful and I will have to win them over with gentleness, calmness, with the peace of Christ our Lord, yet challenging them with change, and to cheer them on into the new life God desires for them as a community of faith.
And I am the one who is anxious and fearful as well, learning a new liturgy and book of worship with which I am not familiar. Knowing that the position is so part-time, I will be limited in what I will be able to do.
And each church has some unique tasks and ways that they do things. I pray that I won't screw up the liturgy too much. I will be on probation for the first couple weeks, scruntinized under a microscope of can we live with this interim pastor? a female? one not of our denomination?
God has called me to walk into this lion's den and I hope that God has some more good surprises in store for them and for me as this interim unfolds. I pray God will give me the strength, the wisdom, the creativity, the love and the grace I will need to minister and serve these beloved of Christ.
God, you have opened the way for me to serve these your people, I hold you to your promise that you will be with me and providing me all that I need to minister well with them. Thank you, and may I find courage from all your faithful who faced fearful situations and continued to trust you for all things, for life. May I do the same. Amen.

2011-09-20T16:08:00.001-04:00

SHADES OF HILDEGARD -
Today I felt a bit like Hildegard von Bingen as I cut down my tarragon, washed some of it and some thyme that I inadvertantly pulled out while pulling out garlic chives gone crazy-wild, and hung them to dry. I also reserved a few sprigs and have made my own two bottles of tarragon vinegar which works really well in making Asian Cole Slaw and other salads where Balsamic may be a bit heavy. I made a concoction of white vinegar and added some malt vinegar and it will cure for 2 weeks.
I already made my own pesto with basil from the garden and it is now resting in our freezer, awaiting a bowl of pasta to coat and savor.
I imagined how Hildegard carefully cultivated, dried, and used the many variety of herbs to cure ailments in her time. Somehow, through time and different cultures there was a kindred spirit there between us of growing
and harvesting your own herbs and enjoying the fruits of your labor in the foods that you cook and create. You know exactly where it came from and it is way cheaper than McCormick!!!!
There are still a few more herbs to harvest that can wait yet - marjarom, the rest of the thyme, oregano, sage, and some hyssop. I have to pull the tomatoe plants tomorrow. Then when I return, I will work on the rest of the herbs and pull all the remaining weeds and grasses that felt entitled to encroach upon my garden, put down the Sweet Peet and Osmacote and it will be ready for winter. I will wait to cut the sage and rosemnary until closer to thanksgiving. It depends upon the weather.
To you, Hildegard, I lift my tarragon in praise and thanks to you for your incredible Christian witness and life, to your imaginative and creative spirit, and your soul of compassion and grace.

2011-09-20T11:23:00.000-04:00

INTERVIEWS
Interviews are interesting events, you just never know how it's going to go or what you'll be asked, or how people will respond. I've had my share of them. I don't get quite as rattled as I used to, perhaps, that's a good thing. This last interview is really up in the air.
They are a very anxious, wounded people and try as I did to be a non-anxious presence and assuring, I'm not sure they were convinced. I would be near totally opposite of what they have had in a pastor and that in itself, would be a good thing. Being of a different denomination might be a disconcerting factor to them although I have served in that denomination before.
There's just no telling what will come of that interview.
It will be as God deems best for them, for me. And I will live with that.
It certainly would be very challenging and there is some healing and process work that would need to be done.
In the meanwhile, LH and I will head for the Beach, even though it will be cool and fall and there won't be any sticking of feet into the cold water, and play and just be. I have some books to read and two still on the Kindle.
When we return, then I will actively seek what else might be out there and available. And will have to prepare the garden for winter and the flower beds as well.
I remind myself that I can only be myself and that God is in charge and to trust the slow work of God. Grant me patience, O Lord, and hopeful expectation for a place to serve. Amen.

2011-09-18T11:25:00.000-04:00

So, I have an interview tomorrow for a very part-time interim in another denomination. I am anxious as I always am for one never knows what one will be asked. I will be praying much today and tomorrow, so that I can be a non-anxious presence to the ones who are really anxious and uncertain about their future and the journey of this interim time before them.
I will be learning new things all over again!!! That is the beauty and anxiety that comes with interim ministry - learning new things and reliance on God to make one able.
I am ready to serve again and have had a full summer off. (Almost guilty for having such time off and going to the Beach, visiting my niece and my trip across the pond - for I hear the tape in my head that those who don't work shouldn't spend what they don't have on such luxuries as vacation!) Perhaps, though, God was restoring my soul in this time after the year and half away from home and the need to let go of the congregation I finished serving. I was graced with the opportunity to attend my aunt's memorial service and to speak at that service (even if I stumble in my German) and I am so thankful and grateful to have been able to be there and be with what is now, extended family - all my cousins. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. And I know my Aunt was just tickled to see us all there together to take leave of her and her influence on our lives.
I supply preached at 3 different churches of this denomination this summer. Again, I see that as God preparing me for this possible new interim. Funny, that I never supply preached for my own denomination this summer!!! Makes me truly wonder at how God works so mysteriously and wonderfully.
The position is woefully part-time. However, I am thankful merely to be serving again. And will keep myself open to what may yet come to be.
It is difficult to make a life this way and to piece together some semblance of a life. LH and I both a have a few more years within us before retirement and it almost feels like retirement now. Only we can't afford to retire this early in life.
But I am grateful for this opportunity to serve and to minister and to get to know another community of Christ's beloved.

2011-09-10T10:32:00.000-04:00

9-11 Anniversary:
I need and want to remember 9-11. The brave souls and innocent lives lost that infamous day due to extremist Muslim terrorists.
However, I am appalled at some of the gatherings taking place. The nearby big city has a display with a clear film on which people can write the name of someone they've lost in the past ten years. Come on. Why are you demeaning all who died in those attacks that Sept. 11th day and taking the focus off of them and onto your own lost loved ones who died that had nothing to do with 9-11?
This is not All Saints Day, which for all of you unchurched people, is a day of honoring and remembrance of all who died in faith - especially our loved ones.
Memorial Day is to honor and remember those who died in service to our country in past wars.
Veterans' Day is to honor and remember all who have served our country in the armed forces, especially survivors.
Sept.11th is to honor and remember those who lost their lives in the
World Trade Center, Shanksville and Pentagon, both civilians, flight crews,
firefighters, EMS, and police, in the terrorist attacks.
Why must event planners cloud the true meaning of these days by making of them memorial times for own loved ones and not keeping the proper focus where it belongs - less on us and more on others? It boogles my mind and totally frosts me. I find it terribly demeaning to the families and survivors of those attacks and those who lost their lives.
I pray that people would retain their focus on the true meaning of 9-11 and remember their own lost loved ones at another time, especially on All Saints Day. Come to church that day. Hear prayers for those we've loved and lost, light a candle for them, etc.
Just don't do that on 9-11. Think instead of those families, survivors and nearly 3,000 people who lost their lives senselessly to a terrorist attack on our nation.

2011-09-09T13:56:00.001-04:00

RGBP'S FRIDAY FIVE - WORKSPACE
From RGBP comes this friday five challenge:
I don't know about you, but I am a notoriously messy creative worker. My workspace at home, and at my office is always littered with books and papers and mail and pens and keys and mugs....and tschotske (momentos, weird things, etc.) I am looking right now at a pair of dice that someone gave me that have "God" on each side, so that anyway you roll 'em, you end up with God. Different, right?

So, this Friday Five is all about YOUR tschotske in your workplace. Describe five things in/on your workspace (however you define workspace--I tend to spill over onto bedside tables, end tables, coffee tables...create wherever I land) that are special to you! Bonus points for pictures!

When I am serving, my office has quite a collection of items, here are 5:
1. Broken mug from Athabasca, Canada. It is a wonderful hand thrown
green and natural glazed mug. I was broken-hearted when it slipped out
of my hand in the dishwasher and broke. I glued it back together and
it is now my pen and pencil cup and I still get to see it most every
day.

2. Ironwood angel. I found this angel in St. Armand's Circle, Sarasota, FL
in 1997 when my Mom passed away. It is a simple carved ironwood angel
with halo and wings and was a comfort to me. The angel sits on the desk.

3. Antique painting of a Swiss field with mountains in background.
Although, I think it is a print and is yellowed from age. It hung in
my grandma's living room and I usually hang it on the wall where I
serve to remember my roots.

4. Pottery bowl. It is a small bowl which I threw on the potter's wheel
at a Princeton Con Ed class. A fellow student who was a potter glazed
it with blue fish and dots along the rim and then fired it for me. I have
it on a book shelf and
use it on Ash Wednesday for the ashes.

5. Lucite cross made from recycled used tea bags and painted with tribal
geometric patterns on each square bag that makes up the cross. It came
from Cape Town, South Africa and was made by a cooperative of women to
earn money. It reminds me of the congregation we worshipped with one
Sunday there.

2011-09-03T11:56:00.001-04:00

BREAKING THE RULES -
I admit to breaking the rules of our subdivision this week. I break them every summer at least once. It is a ridiculous rule to begin with. I was even told by a parishioner once that the EPA would override this subdivision rule because it saves energy and is green.
This week, I put up my Swiss-imported portable laundry line that I have had for years. It's a big thick pole that opens into a huge square with four sides of lines and and 5-6 lines on each side. Like a big table umbrella. I had lots of laundry from the trip - cotton shirts, linen pants, a linen/rayon jumper, etc. I'm tired of cotton shirts shrinking in the dryer and usually line dry them now in the basement. But the days were warm and sunny, and I had a lot to dry.
So, I put up the laundry system and hung my shirts, pants, dress out to dry. And they dried quickly and well. There were no undies or unmentionables hung for the neighbors to see. Just outerwear.
And when I went to gather the dry laundry, it smelled so fresh and clean. Mmmm....I had near fogotten that wonderful fresh laundered, sun and breeze dried scent. It was so wonderful. I would like to do it more often, but don't want to press my luck. I saved lots of electricity by not running loads in the dryer. It doesn't smell as good when I hang it in the basement.
Frankly, I think temporary clotheslines should be allowed here. It is a such a green and energy saving way to dry your clothes or bedding. And the scent is luscious.
I doubt that any of our neighbors who can even see it will say anything.
I have never been reported as of yet.
So, every summer that we are here. I will break the rules and have the best smelling laundry of anyone and a few extra bucks in our pockets. And the planet is grateful. It doesn't bother me to see laundry flapping in the summer breeze. Surely the enormous children's play towers and stations are far more obnoxious than some laundry hanging from a line that can be removed as if it had never even been there.
Yes, I am guilty of breaking the rules. And I am not in the least, remorseful.

2011-09-02T13:25:00.000-04:00

GRIEVING -
Six years ago, a most handsome, elegant and refined fawn colored greyhound came into our lives. He was wonderfully proportioned with nary any scars from his racing career. He had come from Ft. Myers and it was quickly apparent that he had been well loved all of his life. He always tried to get into one's lap even though he had long ago outgrown that possibility, but he took to standing over one's legs and pressing close to one's body. He loved chest rubs that lasted 15 minutes and always wanted more. He could charm the devil himself. He was a bit of a sneaky thief, stealing the last two bites of my sandwich off my plate when I went to answer the doorbell, and quick to sneak a lick off a plate when you weren't looking. He wasn't satisfied with mere kibble, he wanted left-overs added to it. He took to the couch and love seat, snatched pillows when he could thinking they were large throw toys. He was a lazy greyhound and only ran when the other greyhound got him going. He was content to be retired and a beloved pet and companion. He was even tempered and delighted in having the underside of his chin and neck stroked. He had one small flaw - he didn't like being disturbed when he was lying down and would growl and lash out. One greyhound rule is, never disturb a sleeping greyhound. Two greys we had didn't like to be disturbed and two don't mind at all. You just don't know with them. Jett, had been returned to USADOG after a family adopted him even though the organization didn't think it was a good match, the family wanted Jett. Understandably, because he was such a good looker. They had a small child who couldn't resist petting a sleeping greyhound and Jett growled and bared his teeth. The family returned Jett. How fortunate we were to take him home and give him the home he deserved. It was hard to ever be mad at him because he oozed charm. He moved with grace, light on his feet and with his size, his long tail carried elegantly. He charmed us with his good looks and endearing personality. He was easy to live with and a joy in our lives.
Yesterday, Jett crossed Rainbow Bridge. His cancer had tired him out, his leg wound oozing and bleeding with a stench that even daily cleaning could not erase. He wasn't eating much even when tempted with rice, and canned dog food and left-overs, although he greedily munched on Milkbones.
He was becoming thin and it wouldn't be long before he wouldn't have the strength to go out or stand up. His eyes were sad and said, "I had enough." He had problems getting comfortable lying down and even with some pain medication to ease the pain in his leg which he favored some, the delight was gone from his eyes. I knew it was time. I knew I couldn't let him waste away and lose all dignity. It was just a matter of days.
Thankfully, he waited until I returned home and was so joyed to see me. I know he missed me and Momma's rubs, hugs, and kisses.
And so, LH and I, had our beautiful beloved Jett put to sleep, and spared him some really awful last days.
I suppose that is the salve to my grief - that we spared him a few days of additional misery and that each day, each year he was with us, was a gift and grace and gave him a second chance at life. He was trusting and good with the doctors and all that he endured the past year and three months - two surgeries and recuperation. It's just that cancer couldn't be eradicated and his wound after this last surgery couldn't ever heal properly. I know we did the right and good thing by him and it eases the hurt just a little.
He graced us with his elegance and beauty and goodness and I am forever grateful. He rests in my heart and now bounds across heaven with Earl, Baruch the Beagle and Benny.
Perhaps, eventually, we may get another grey. For now, it's just LH, I and Jazz - our wild child grey, who has lost his buddy. Now, he'll get all the attention and all the left-overs!
Thanks, Jett, you were beautiful inside and out. Love you forever.

2011-08-31T12:49:00.000-04:00

Back Home Again - Part 2 -
My cousin M and I are only a year apart and relished the time together. We had some deep conversations and the week went by fairly quickly. We enjoyed strolling along Lake Maggiorie and went on two boat rides trying to keep cool - one on Lake Maggiorie and one on Lake Lugano. It worked. We put our feet into both lakes.
I enjoyed a wonderful porcini risotto one evening and the boccalino of wine to go with it and strengthen me for the bike ride back to the apartment!
I did have another first this visit. In the grand piazza, I had pesto gnoochi one evening and ordered my water (still, without gas) and the waiter brings a glass of water with a lemon slice and ice cubes!!!!
In my 46 years of travelling to Switzerland, never once have I ever something to drink with ice. I gazed in wonder at the glass. I held the glass up to my ear and swished it, just to hear the clinking of ice against the wall of the glass - all to the amusement of my cousin. She called the waiter over and had me tell him that this was the first time in all those years of coming to Switzerland to have ice. On such a hot day, it
was most marvelous and welcome. Before the waiter went home for the night, he brought a glass with more ice cubes for me to enjoy!! What a sweetheart!
We took the Post Bus and went into the Val Versace (Valley Versace) and no, it was not full of designer clothes! A wild and rugged valley with small villages and water that is emerald green, deep and clear. Folks were
lounging on the huge boulders worn smooth and cooling off in the waters of the river - that were cold and could be treacherous. The houses were quaint made of old stones with stone roofs. Banking on tourist trade, they sold woolen slippers, mittens, gloves, hats, felted wool purses, honey, polenta mix, risotto mix, balsamic vinegar, etc. The wool stuff was beautiful and artsy, all hand made and way over my budget. I came home with porcini risotto mix and polenta with truffle mix. That I could afford.
It was a very hot day, and the ride back by postal bus was very, very warm as the bus was full, some were standing, and the bus driver never thought to crank up the a/c by setting it higher and having the fan blower more. The economical Swiss - why it would consume more gasoline! Forget that everyone on the bus was hot!
The boat trip on Lake Lugano was wonderful and Gandria with its quaint old buildings can only be reached by water and is the most painted of all places on Lake Lugano. I could see why. There is a smuggling museum there - smuggling goods during WW 2- and it would be interesting to see some day.
Marcote was an enchanting village with an impressive cathedral. Also, must see one day.
Although, the day we went to Ascona, we missed the market day, I did find 2 nice boccalino's to take home at a cermaic/pottery shop.
I came home with some must have chocolate, only 1 bag of chocolate wafers as there was only 1 bag on the store shelf, and less cheese than I would have liked.
When one is dependent on other people for transportation, one is not as free to do things as one would when renting a car. It was so hot, that even in my family's home town, although they have a great cheese shop, I couldn't buy a thing, since it would all have melted into a summer fondue!
I was astounded once again at the prices of everything - clothing, shoes, purses, scarves, even the restaurant prices. I mean, 24 francs for proscuitto wrapped around cantaloupe slices! You can make it yourself for a third of the price!
Another thing that struck me this time, was whenever we used a public restroom - which for the most part are fairly clean - there was no soap. Sinks with water but not soap! For as concerned as the Swiss are with cleaniness, how germy are the people walking around?!!?
By the end of the week, my speaking and vocabulary had improved greatly. It only took me 5 minutes to come up with the word for broom one morning!!!! Yikes! When you don't speak a language for a long time you forget the simplest words!
To catch the flight home, I had to get up at 4:30 am, my other cousin L drove me to the Basel train station and we had extra time for cup of coffee, before she promptly put me on the wrong train. Thankfully, I had a couple minutes to take my luggage and pile it all on the train on the other side of the platform. Thanks, L!!!
I checked in fairly quickly and cleared security without much wait. I stopped and bought some chocolate and magazines (german ones to help me practice my reading and comprehension skills while seeing what's fashionable in Europe these days). When I boarded the flight, I spied my Comfort coach aisle seat and saw a middle-aged man in the window seat - black curly hair way past his shoulders and frizzed out, dressed in jeans and t-shirt, and wearing sunglasses. Slouched in his seat, when I placed my carry on in the over head bin, he turned toward the window with his entire body. He looked like a rock muscian and clearly didn't want to engage in any conversation. I have sat with some of the strangest people when I fly alone. Two middle-age guys right behind us were more talkative and flirted with the stewardess. Apparently, they were a rock band from Georgia who played in Bern. The guy I was sitting next to was a guitar player for the band!!! And he had no clue whatsoever, that sitting right next time was a pastor!!!!! What a picture! A rocker and a pastor!
By the time, I got to Atlanta, I was ready to exit the plane and stand for while in the passport and customs area. At least Atlanta had the a/c on! Then it was on to rechecking the bag and going through another security check. I had a two hour layover and I barely made it to the other gate with 15 minutes to spare. That's cutting things closer than I like.
I could barely sit for the last 1 1/2 hour flight to the North Coast. My tailbone was sore.
Thankfully, LH picked up in fairly good time and I was thankful to be home again, safe and sound. My bed never looked so inviting and the pillow was softly calling my name.
Another adventure and lots of family time, and beautiful scenery, long conversations, good food and wine, my soul has been refreshed.

2011-08-30T14:07:00.001-04:00

Back Home Again -
I thought I'd write before I left to fly across the pond to the land of Alps, Cheese, Chocolate and Watches, but there was too much to do.
I flew in last evening - exhausted, hungry, ready to be home and with a sore tailbone from sitting 11 1/2 hours on two planes. The main thing is that I returned safe and sound.
Switzerland was hotter than ever I experienced, which means that my summer travel remains true to form - no matter where I go, it is hotter than normal. I did miss our air conditioning greatly.
I met my sister in Atlanta and we flew over together. So, we were able to spend some time together as well. We must be sisters as we both were reading "The Help" - she had the paperback and I on the Kindle. She finished first although I was ahead of her to begin with.
She was a help to negogiate the train from the airport to Zurich main station, while I helped in getting us to a place where we had some transactions to make. I picked the lunch place and ate a most wonderful Zurich dish - geschnetzlets with spaetzli - chopped veal pieces on a cream sauce with wee dumplings along with some veges. It was delicious. My sister also got us from Zurich to Basel by train, something she's done many times. My cousin and her husband met us at the train station and we got all the luggage in as well as ourselves.
I was not feeling well, having a runny nose Tuesday night already. I had a bit of a sinus infection going on which coupled with being up 2 whole days and not getting any sleep on the plane certainly didn't help the situation. My cousin is a retired nurse and stopped at the drugstore where we picked up some sinus tablets - plant based, nose spray, and aspirin in a powdered form that mix in water. Believe it or not, all that helped and in a couple days, I was feeling better if still a bit congested.
WE enjoyed a lovely open house with wine and finger foods at my cousin's and several other cousins joined us as well. Let it be known that neither my sister nor I were overly talkative as we were trying hard just to stay awake!
On Friday, we went to the town where my Dad grew up and all my aunts and uncles spent much of their childhood. I still have relatives from my mom and dad there and where I spent most of all my times in Switzerland. WE stopped at the Flower Shop and picked up a couple small flowering plants -
one for our parents and one for my aunt. It was a very hot, sunny day. We visited my parents grave site and my grandma's before heading to my aunt's gravesite for the brief service where all my cousins gathered in the shade of the columbarium wall. The pastor was in his 50's, very pleasant and personable. He gave me an order of service for the church service which followed. He even played two pieces on the cello which he did wonderfully.
My one cousin spoke of my aunt's life when my aunt was young. I spoke about my aunt during our growing up years in Chicago, and my cousin finished with remembrances of my aunt when she retired and returned to Switzerland. The pastor referred to me as a sister in ministry!
Afterwards, we drove to a restaurant overlooking the local lake for a very fine lunch complete with wine and plenty of talk. How good to see my cousins gathered together. It is a rare occurance even for those who live over there. I saw my great-aunt and how wonderful to be together, catching up each other's lives and remembering our parents and aunt. My aunt who never married or had children must have been smiling down to see us all there to honor her life, to remember her and to bid her farewell as she has begun her new and eternal life with God. My sister and I were so very blessed that we went and were there.
It was so hot, that I nearly sat in the big silver urn that was full of ice and water to keep the white wine cold, but decorum dictated merely putting my hand in there and wiping my forehead!!!
I must admit, when I was with my cousin M in Ticino - the Swiss Riveria - we stopped in the grocery store one hot late afternoon after a very warm postal bus ride home from sightseeing - and I pointed out cheeses in the refrigerator section - to feel cool up my sleeve! And I opened the freezer door and stuck my face into the cooler to "look more closely at the fish!!!" My cousin thought I had gone crazy with heat and just cracked up. However, we cooled off nicely and quickly!
Ticino is a beautiful area of Switzerland with lush vegetation, various palm trees and Italian is spoken. The food, of course, is also very Italian, very good and as with the rest of Switzerland, also expensive.
Mostly, it was just too hot to eat and lunch usually consisted of liters of non-carbonated water for me, nectarines, and little tidbits of bread and salami, and even an ice cream or two. We stuck our feet into Lake Maggiore to cool off and spent time on the lakeshore where there might be a cool breeze. We rode bikes down to the lake and the bike ride created a bit of a breeze. Course I haven't riden a bike in over 25 years and eventually got the hang of it again. Even have some bruised legs to prove it - mostly from stopping and bangning into the handle bars!!!
Ascona is a lovely town with a beautiful lakefront. We had a fantastic dinner at a Grotto. It started with bread and 2 types of salami (all served family style - they bring you salami on a cutting board, you chop off the slices you want and the board then goes on to another table where the diners there do the same thing). That was followed by thin slices of beef tongue. Needless to say, we passed on that. I grew up having to eat tongue and am glad not to have to eat it as an adult. Then came salad. Followed by a plate of bow tie pasta with a tomatoe cream sauce that was simply wonderful with a bit of heat. Then arrived the meat with polenta with an incredible sauce. Wow! Following that was a variety of cheese also on a cutting board. And then came a simple dessert of small slices of bar cookies with fruit spread on them. The dessert was nothing to write home about - but by then, we were too stuffed to really want it any way. The wine was excellant as well.
Good thing we don't eat like that all the time!!!!
There is more to share but the laundry is crying out to be done, my pictures are ready to be picked up, and Jett is seeking more attention as the cancer advances. I don't know how much longer we'll have with him. His leg is looking much worse than when I left a week and a half ago. Even some of his chest lumps have bled a bit. He seems not to be much pain, but he clearly isn't a happy camper, but still has an appetite and still has life in his eyes. I pray he will tell me when he has had enough and we will let him go. But for now, he is still here and I can kiss his handsome face and hug him and rub him.

2011-08-12T16:16:00.000-04:00

RGBP'S Friday Five:

The Place I Want To Get Back To

is where
in the pinewoods
in the moments between
the darkness

and first light
two deer
came walking down the hill
and when they saw me

they said to each other, okay,
this one is okay,
let's see who she is
and why she is sitting

on the ground, like that,
so quiet, as if
asleep, or in a dream,
but, anyway, harmless;

and so they came
on their slender legs
and gazed upon me
not unlike the way

I go out to the dunes and look
and look and look
into the faces of flowers;
and then one of them leaned forward

and nuzzled my hand, and what can my life
bring to me that could exceed
that brief moment?
For twenty years

I have gone every day to the same woods,
not waiting, exactly, just lingering.
Such gifts bestowed,
can't be repeated.

If you want to talk about this
come to visit. I live in the house
near the corner, which I have named
Gratitude.

(Mary Oliver, "Thirst", Beacon Press, 2006)

For this Friday Five I invite you to offer five gratitudes you recognize in your life.

1) That I am God's and beloved of God, even when I feel it not.
2) For LH, his steadiness, his love, his sense of humor
3) For my sister, she is my best friend and shares my history and is my
strength and encourager
4) For Jett and Jazz, our greyhounds. Especially, I am thankful for each
day and week we have left with Jett - our most handsome, elegant and
refined grey. He is such an endearing, good soul. The cancer is
advancing and I know our time together is limited.
5) For our home with the wide open meadow behind our fenced-in backyard
and all the beauty I behold from magnificent sunsets, to impending
storms, to bluebirds, meadowlarks and a variety of butterflies.

There is always something for which I feel gratitude. Even this dark night, for those moments of gratitude remind me that God is still with me and that I am still connected to God. I hope that this dark night will end with a glorious new day that dawns with life abundant and I will be serving a congregation again.

2011-08-09T14:12:00.001-04:00

It is a bit disheartening to receive a rejection of your dossier and not even be invited to an interview. Sigh. There are two other possibilities, neither in this state. So, maybe God is telling us, it's time to leave, really leave and begin anew somewhere totally different. Only, totally different is intimidating and scary. To pull up stakes and venture into the unknown is never easy. I doubt it was for Abraham or any of the disciples.
What if it doesn't work out? I've been down that road before. What if LH doesn't find any place to serve? What if I fail, disappoint, and let down a people of God? What then? I worry about these things.
But my faith also tells me that stepping out on faith is what we are called to do, no matter how scary, how inadequate, how uncertain and unsure one may feel. It's about trusting in God.
In this dark night of my soul, trusting has been a real challenge. The Great Silence has remained silent and I struggle sometimes to connect more deeply. I feel exiled in the wilderness and continue to walk an unknown path into an uncertain future.
God has fortunately provided me with three Sundays of pulpit supplying in three different Lutheran churches. This past Sunday, being a communion Sunday, I had to work with the new ELW and only messed up the prayer after communion, which I went back and did - only it wasn't unison, then added the blessing about being sent out to share communion, then the benediction, then the dismissal. All in all, not too bad for a low-church Presbyterian using the new worship book for the first time. I did enjoy sharing communion, blessing the children, but for the most part, I was constantly checking and rechecking what came next, what page I was to be on, etc. Here's hoping, this coming Sunday will go better.
I usually print out my communion liturgy and have the pages on the table. Of course, we, Presbyterians, can be creative with the liturgy and theme it for that Sunday's scripture lessons. I guess I just haven't been Lutheran in a long while and it would take a bit to get back into it.
In the meanwhile, I am working on what I'll be sharing at my aunt's memorial service. Trying to decide what clothes to bring with and keeping the weight of the luggage down to return with chocolate and cheese and some favorite things. It could be really hot over there where nothing is airconditioned and it could be coolish. Knowing my track record, it will be unseasonably warm!!!
So, I will not dwell on what is not to be and set my sights on what is before me, trusting that God will guide me and lead us into a future where life abundant yet awaits.

2011-08-04T11:43:00.000-04:00

Memories -
I've been thinking about my Aunt who passed away in late June and what I will say at her memorial service. So many wonderful memories rise up that were lying dormant for years.
My Aunt lived in Chicago and was a nurse at the Prominent Hospital near the John Hancock building and indeed, she lived nearly across the street from it in subsidized housing for doctors and nurses.
Many times, my sister and I, rode the EL into the city where my Aunt would meet us, take us to lunch at Marshall Fields or let us look around. She always had something special planned like swimming in Lake Michigan at the beach, going to the Art Institute or a craft project or to eat couscous, frozen chocolate Frango mint pie or drink ginger ale. She took me to see David Copperfield before he was hugely famous, and I attended at least one National Geographic Society lecture.
I remember being excited to go and spend a weekend with her. She loved to read and when I was so enthralled with the Dr. Suess book, Green Eggs and Ham, she made me green eggs (with food coloring) and ham for breakfast once. I thought that was just the coolest thing and something my mother would never do!!!
Whenever my sister and I would go for a weekend, I recall that Mom packed a knitted dark brown with thin tan stripes bag with long wooden handles knitted onto to it and filled with our toothbrushes, toothpaste, brushes, pj's, fresh underwear and change of clothes. We would get on the EL, press our faces to the windows and watch the suburban landscape change to urban with little green space, except for a couple parks, highrises and graffiti sprayed public housing apartment complexes and we could see where the EL tracks would curve ahead and take us to the Loop.
I wonder now, as I think of it, what those on the EL thought of us, carrying that knitted bag, looking like immigrant children who spoke English flawlessly and spoke Swiss-German when we wanted to say things that no one else would understand. We carried no pink or lavendar princess or Disney inspired overnight bags, just that humble non-descript dark brown knitted bag. Thinking back on it, it just makes me wonder and I feel as though we looked like first generation ethnic children! And we were.
My sister still has the bag tucked away somewhere safe in her house. Memories of trips into the city and adventures with my Aunt are still contained in that knitted bag and in my heart.

2011-07-29T15:28:00.001-04:00

RGBP's Friday Five: Decisions, Decisions (deja vu edition):

Today we play off of one of my favorite and most memorable Friday Fives to blog from: Decisions, Decisions posted by Songbird last July 23. I went back to that post to make sure I had new choices for you to make. I found out -- again -- that she was then, as I have been recently, in the midst of a discernment process and thinking about what goes into decision making.

A decision from history: There is a chair that still sits in the Assembly Room of the Pennsylvania State House (Independence Hall). Legend has it that it was George Washington's chair, the back carved with a half sun. Benjamin Franklin would look at it and wonder whether it was a rising or a setting sun. Eventually Franklin decided it was the hopeful symbol of the rising sun, a sign of the future of our new republic.

How do you decide? Check out the following pairs and tell which one of each appeals to you most:

1) Sunrise or Sunset -
Sunset. We see some of the most beautiful and incredible sunsets from
our backyard with the open meadow behind us. What's not to love? The
day softens around the edges, the colors are amazing: turquoise,
salmon, fushia, gold, apricot, lavendar, grey and blue. Sunsets can
say, the day is over, let it go, see the beauty, tomorrow is
another day, be thankful and go softly into the night.

2) To the Mountains or To the Beach -
Probably, the beach. I love to stroll along the beach, wade into the
water, watch the waves and ebb and flow. All very healing, restful,
calming. Even watching storms over the lake are so cool. Ocean beaches
are wonderful as well. I think the water is my main draw and just
ambling along the shoreline with feet in the water is for me, a great
thing.

3) Coffee or Tea -
Mostly coffee. Although I do enjoy a cup of Rooiboss - red African
bush tea.

4) Advent or Lent -
Tough one. I like the anticipation of Advent, but it's just so short
and so busy. It's hard to say I "enjoy" Lent, yet the 6 weeks offers
more preparation time. Lent is a more introspective time for me and
emotionally more intense.

5) "Raindrops on Roses" or "Whiskers on Kittens" -
I'd have to go with the raindrops on roses, since I'm not a big fan
cats. I love flowers and seeing their colors and even the raindrops
speak more to me than kitties. But little kittens are very cute.
Make it puppies and you have me there. Puppies are just too cute
and wriggly and snuggly, warm and fuzzy and I could never resist
a puppy. Puppies even beat raindrops on roses.

BONUS: Tell more about one of the pairs. Why did you choose it? Difficult or easy choice? A story from your own experience?

2011-07-26T16:41:00.000-04:00

IN MOURNING -
I am mourning the loss of Borders book stores which are in the process of closing. I enjoyed going to Borders, spending unhurried time to browse new releases, classics, religion, the bargain shelves, to get LH his Wegman calendar, Lang cloth calendars for the kitchen (which when the year is done, is washed and then becomes a drying towel), maps for the countries we visited and guide books, and all the fun stuff in their stationary section.
I could spend hours in a book store and every time I entered one, I was like a kid in a candy store; full of wonder, delight, and it always made me feel good all over. Going to the bookstore has been a salve for a sore spirit. It's not a place to hurry, but to take time, to find the right read, and to happen on something you hadn't known about.
Even when I was a child and would take the "EL" into Chicago and meet my Aunt at Marshall Fields, we would always stop at Kroch & Brentano' - the forerunner to Borders. What joy would fill me to behold shelves and shelves of books and to find something special and wonderful to read.
Book stores have always been a place of wonderment for me. And alas, they are going away. And I am, mourning.
As much as I also enjoy Amazon, sometimes, you just want to hold the book and read the synopsis before purchasing it or run across a book you hadn't noticed before. Shopping Amazon is just not the same as wandering in and around a bookstore.
It is a sad time for me. No longer will I be able to just be in a bookstore surrounded by wisdom, advice, knowledge and imagination. The Library for me always felt stark and cold, but the bookstore was crammed with possibilities and always a purchase.
So, I grieve this passing. We have a Barnes & Noble fairly close by, but I wonder how long they will continue to be around.
I am intrigued by the Kindle, but love to hold my books, and use a lovely bookmark to mark my place. I have held off giving in to e-reading.
But now, now, I am confronted by it and I can no longer ignore it or hold off. Borders is closing. Bookstores may be a thing of the past. And I have to make an unexpected trip to Switzerland. How can I justify bringing along three books - size and weight - when there are so many weight and baggage restrictions imposed by the airlines? The Kindle is lightweight and small and can hold several books. It just makes sense.
And so while I mourn the closing of a great bookstore, I am stepping out into the future and ordering a Kindle. Hope I can figure it out before I leave the end of August. I hadn't planned on making such a purchase but the time seems right.
I hadn't planned on going to Switzerland but with the death of my last Aunt, the one who met me at the "EL" station and took me to Kroch & Brentano's Bookstore, and is the last of my father's siblings and last of that generation, I am going to her memorial service. And getting the Kindle almost seems fitting.

2011-07-22T14:46:00.000-04:00

MUY CALIENTE!!!!
Yes, we are roasting here in OH and aren't the only ones to do so!!
I am so very thankful for air conditioning and no power outages.
I was going to do some work in the herb garden - fix a tomato plant, weed some more and dig up some garlic - but...it's so flippin' hot! I still have to deadhead the other planter box of geraniums. That may be all I get to today while doing my laundry.
It is so good to be back home again. It just wasn't the same without LH.
I did enjoy some sista time!!! Had dinner out a nice french bistro on Bastille Day and we ate outside!!! Went to Talbot's outlet store and found two great blazers - one a grey boiled wool with cute gatherings on lapel and pockets. The price: about $22.00, regularly priced at $224.00. The other was a plum/raisin corduray blazer with shirring in front and back for $10.80, I can't even remember the regular price. Found some good red wine at Trader Joes and hit the Outlet Mall in WI with my sister - she found, I actually found the airy kinda crocheted cardigan, and with her store credit, and my contribution as a birthday present, she only paid $10.00 for it.
The Beach was...well...fishy! Dead alewives were strewn all over the beach washing up on shore. We raked dead silvery little fish with lifeless open eyes into piles then buried them in the sand in trenches. On Tuesday, the lake was calm and with great effort waves broke upon the shore. I was going to step into the cool water and walk along the beach. Unfortunately, along the shore the waves just brought in lake spinach and more dead alewives and not just a few that you could sidestep like on Monday. More's the pity. I did see a dead Coho salmon further up the Beach in the State Park area.
We enjoyed the most beautiful moon rises where it seems as though one cast a line far out over the edge of the lake and reeled up the moon from the horizon's edge.
We saw a fawn and doe, the little bunny, the robin mother feeding her two young, dragonflies and hummingbirds and the great blue herons who flew right over our part of the beach.
I had two days of alone time and read and wrote and gazed upon the lake. It was wonderfully restorative.
My sister and BIL went to the town's big summer one day event with several bands, crafts, and of course, fish fry mania with several service
groups offering a medley of fried fish and fries. The cold beer was refreshing.
We went to another town's art fest the next day and I found a new pottery mug with no room in our cupboard for it! And after discussion with LH, a digital pic taken by BIL and his email (I was without computer and internet service), I bought my first contemporary painting which will still need to be mounted and framed. Hope it gets here soon!!! I was really taken by the use of light color palette and some texture. IT just spoke to me and drew me in. Not too many contemporary pieces will do that to me. I knew it was a keeper and would go well on our dining room wall. I had to convince LH and I think we all did!!!
Came home with some local smoked salmon and fresh (but I immediately froze them) whitefish fillets that traveled back to the Windy City down to central IL University town, across IN, halfway through OH and up to NE OH all in a cooler with freezer packs. They made it frozen even with this great heat.
I also found a new brew in WI - New Glarus Brewing Co.'s Two Women. A very pleasant beer.
I savored a bottle of Mad Housewife Merlot at the Lake House. It was pretty good for an unknown CA winery.
I spent a late afternoon and night with my niece in Central IL University Town and got the grand tour and saw her cute, old bungalow freshly painted with some renovation and her huge garden with sweet corn, squashes, tomatoes, radishes, asparagus, lettuce, etc. We had dinner at a Barbeque joint - Cuban sandwiches with pulled pork and ham and cheese, red slaw and of course, a couple of beers. Then for dessert, we went to the cupcake shop - for Fudge Rush cupcake and she a White Chocolate Macadamia nut one. Simply delicious. We had time to talk face to face and I could admire all she's done with the house. I brought her down a contemporary artwork/painting she bought by a local painter who lives on the Beach and it will go very well in her dining room.
I had a very long drive home yesterday in very hot weather, but it was safe and good.
The boys, all my boys (greys and LH) will thrilled to see me as I them. I brought them treats TJ's Peanut Butter Flavored Dog Cookies, and some wonderful Tortuga rum for LH. So they were happy.
It is good to be home again. Time to pick up and deal with things and get ready to supply preach for a couple Sundays.
The summer storm is rolling in and I must tend my laundry.

2011-07-13T13:34:00.000-04:00

Getting Ready -
The van is vacuumed out, the windshield is clean, shiny and new, and the dashboard and all is cleaned. Just have to go fill the tank so it will be full come morning.
Next comes the packing and it looks like it will be rather warm over the weekend up at the Lake House. Sigh...It must be me. Whenever we go on vacation, it is always hot even in places that "never gets this hot!", like the Dawson City, Yukon, Canada! Ha! Just wait 'til we arrive, you'll know hot!
I have a couple of items to make sure to bring back: Amarula and some Ewig Bros. smoked salmon.
Somehow, the adventure is not the same going without LH. In some ways, I can feel free to walk the beach and read by the Lake without him being bored. But, it's simply more fun with him and going to our usual haunts and discovering new places and things. I feel kinda bad leaving him with the dogs and working.
Yet, the pull to spend time with my sister and all the family I have left is too great not to take advantage of this inbetween positions time to make the trip. I hope I won't get too sleeply driving. I haven't pulled a 7 hour drive in years. I can do 4 hours fairly easy. It's just some parts of Eastern OH after Toledo and Western IN are so flat and dull and the with the rhythmic sound of the road seams under the tires I get lulled to sleep. Will need plenty of tunes and some M & M's for an afternoon sugar rush.
So, I will probably not be posting for the next several days and hope to have some things to post on my return.
I pray the time away, at the Lake will be healing, inspiring, renewing to my soul and my spirit.

2011-07-11T10:08:00.000-04:00

DRY -
It's been dry. And hot. The lawns have gone brown already and it's not even mid-July! I have been busy watering either the front flower beds or the back garden every evening. The Japanese beetles are back but not in the numbers they have been in the last three years. Could it be that we have actually decimated the population?!!?
It's been dry in my life as well. I've cleaned house, done laundry, cooked and made salads and marinated carrots that last for weeks in the fridge. I still have to vacuum out the van. That's for Wednesday morning when it's supposed to be cooler. Today, the van gets a new windshield, again. It's the second replacement. I don't know why rocks spewed up by vehicles on the other side of the road hit my windshield and not someone else's. I've never, ever had to replace a windshield on any of my vehicles before, let alone twice.
I am restless. I am not a good housewife. I need something more. I am going to take advantage of this free time and head to the Lake House for some quiet time by Lake Michigan and to see my sister. It's been 11 months since I've last seen her. It's time. I have books to take with me and my camera and my journal. They will be my companions. I will miss the boys.
I will be going on a shoestring and will miss visiting some of the usual places LH and I always stop at. I will squeeze in one or two. I pray that the snakes will make themselves scarce. Every time I am by myself, the garter snake appears and disappears in the yard or in the grasses by the State Park along the beach. I could do without the snakes.
I long to be working, serving, doing something useful and contributing to the household expenses. I miss church.
Aye, there is more to dryness than just the physical. There is a spiritual dryness as well. Part of the dark night of my soul. I continue to pray and to spend time with the Great Silence. And I have a few things to read that will water my spirit and keep me hydrated for a while.
Like the River Clump Birch tree in the backyard which is dropping yellow leaves like it is fall, I feel the same dryness and thirst, thirst for something more, thirst to serve, thirst to get on with this next chapter of our lives. I tend to the dryness through scripture, prayer, reading, journalling and still it is not enough to quench the dryness.
And so we, thirst in this dryness - the trees, the flowers, the herbs, the tomatoes, the grass and I. Longing for the refreshing rain from the heavens above, that quench and satisfy, revive and cool, and make all abundant and growing again.

2011-07-02T11:53:00.000-04:00

The Naked Meadow -
There are about 20 acres of meadow behind our house in the subdivision. The greatest expense in the HOA fees has been for mowing these past years.
This spring with all the rain the meadow has flourished and the grasses so tall that one couldn't even walk the 1/4 mile track loop. If you can even call a bunch of gravel with weeds and grass a track anymore.
We wondered if they were ever going to mow, knowing that once it gets dry, the meadow could be a tinderbox.
Well, on Thursday, the mowing began and at the end of the day, it was piled with cut down grasses and weeds.
On Friday, the serious work began. First, a machine that combed the cut mowing into neat rows, then they came through with a baler and then finally, the gleaner that rolled the remaining clippings into shredded wheat rolls. There must have about 25 shredded wheat rolls and about 4 wagonloads - overloaded with bales.
What a marvelous idea! To have the meadow mowed for hay - bedding for horses, for use in a dairy barn, etc.
The ones who did had all the equipment necessary and obviously knew what they were doing. They finished around 11 pm last night, loading the last of the rolls that look like ginormous shredded wheat. It was a very long, hot day of great physical labor.
I, who grew up a suburbanite of the Windy City, was amazed at the baler and curious about the gleaner and even got to see the machine burp out a finished roll!! Then, I was wondering how they got those rolls on a wagon and later that evening, I saw them with a lift fork and watched them load the rolls on the wagon.
Finally, a good use of all the meadow grasses and somebody will make some money selling it and we, are happy homeowners. Wish, I had thunk of it! A brilliant idea that is good all the way around.
And I could marvel at how it all works and is done!

2011-07-02T11:41:00.000-04:00

JAPANESE BEETLE WARS -
The Japanese beetle war has begun for this year. All it took was a hot,dry day! Bag One - 8 beetles. Sevin - 4 beetles.
I don't really like to use Sevin on my flowers or bushes. It seems to speed the burning bush's turning to red and then dropping its leaves by the
beginning of September. We have honey bees, bumblebees, finches and hummingbirds that feast on the flowers and their seed. I have no wish to harm them or the flowers. So, with great reluctance, I resort to Sevin only when the infestation is great and their is Japanese orgy going on in my potentilla and burning bush.
There will be many more beetles to come as the day promises to be a very hot one and our morning rain is over.
For all the bags and beetles we have caught over the past 3 years, you'd think the population would have been greatly decimated. Time will tell, how we do this year!

2011-06-29T14:56:00.001-04:00

PUTTERING -
Today was a day of puttering. After breakfast, I took in a pair of linen capri pants at the waist. Better now. I don't have to keep hiking them up.
Then LH and I drove to Trader Joe's since it was such a beautiful day. We found some of our favorite items and tucked them away in the cart.
I found it providential that TJ's had one last curled parsley plant left amongst their herbs. Mine in the garden is going to seed and isn't producing much. I toyed with the idea of buying a new parsley plant and there it stood before me. It was grown in Canada and is now planted in my herb garden. Perhaps, it will be more hardy because it was grown in Canada!
I pinched my geraniums deadheading them, which is a daily task. They do take tending and I am rewarded with lots of red blooms and red stained left thumb and index finger!
It is a breezy day, in the mid '70's with a bright blue sky and clouds that look like God spilled a bag of cotton balls that are now suspended in the sky.
I continue to read a novel I bought in England last summer and only now am getting time to read it.
Yesterday, I finished my dossier and will need to make some photocopies and send out a few.
I have yet to take my suitcase in from the garage and unpack it. That will happen tomorrow. Every day, I have something planned. Of course, there are all manner of things that need tending and doing. I am not at any loss for things to do. I could clean out all the cupboards (which do need it) and I could clean out the china cabinet and dust the glass shelves and wash all the crystal and heirlooms. Perhaps, that will happen before too long.
Today is a day meant for puttering. I haven't puttered in a long, long while. There is a quiet, slow, deliberateness to puttering. It is a different way to be, without deadline, without something just having to be done or someone to be seen, or a phone to answer, a sermon to write, or prayers to craft.
In the evening, I will water the front the flower beds as they need it. And tomorrow evening, I will water again the herb garden and perhaps even, give the tomatoes some tomato food. But that will be tomorrow. Today, I'm just going to putter and take the day as it comes - a gift to slow down and to just be. Thanks, dear Lord, for time to putter.

2011-06-27T10:32:00.000-04:00

A New Rhythm -
I am slowly settling in to this new and different rhythm of being home and being between positions. I am working on my dossier. I am constantly having to remind myself what day of the week it is as my old routine and living from Sunday to Sunday has changed.
Each day, I put away the remaining stuff from the apartment. The little dorm coffee pot bit the dust. The water was so bad where I lived that even the PUR filter didn't help much and the vinegar and Dip-it cleaner didn't help and the water wouldn't even trickle through into the glass carafe. IT was only $15.00 two years ago, so I guess I can't expect much and it did last until my last day at the apartment although I had to start it before I showered as it took so long to brew.
Today, I have 3 lbs of zucchini (on sale at the grocery store) to shred in the food processor. I'll freeze it for later when I'll make the most yummy zucchini patties.
The kitchen and dining room tables need to be cleared off and decluttered and I suppose, I should dust.
Then it will be on to flesh out my statement of faith for my dossier and it will be done!!!
I weeded the herb garden where the chamomile grew wildly unrestricted and it was thinned out and the tomatoes were staked. There are three small tomatoes already on the plants. I cut down the unruly chives. I pulled grasses and weeds from the flower beds - some rather prickly things and thinned out the pincushions which the honey bees, bumblebees enjoy and the finches feast on for the seeds. The Dr. Suess flowers (bee balm) are blooming and the Coneflowers will soon be blooming as well as the Butterfly bush. Everything has grown tall, taller than last year. The potentilla bushes are scraggly and all over the place. Need to trim them next Spring. The Chinese Lanterns are profuse and I could pluck them when they turn orange and sell them for decorations!!! I pulled them all out last fall and they came back even more numerous this spring. It all started out with 2 little, weak stems!!! Be ye forewarned if you think of planting them!
So, it is a new, unsettling, different rhythm. I am not used to being without a paycheck or without serving somewhere.
The greys are happy that I am home and seem rather content with the situation, sighing, snoozing, and getting attention whenever they seek it out. However, my being home all the time does not contribute to the kibble in their dishes or cookies in the pantry.
The sooner my dossier is done and circulating the greater my hope.
I suppose I ought to enjoy and savor this breathing space and being home. If only I didn't feel so guilty over not working!
God gives us grace sufficient for each day and that is how I expect to live - day by day, one day at a time, in faith and in trust.

2011-06-23T16:29:00.000-04:00

JETT UPDATE -
Jett got his stitches removed Tuesday and the elbow is looking pretty good. He's still on antibiotics and the thankfully, we can no longer call him, Bigfoot!!! He's got a greyhound foot and lanky leg again!!
He's put on a couple more pounds slowly and that is good, too. We are so thankful that he is doing so well. Of course, Jett is still having to wear his two inflatable donuts on his neck to prevent him from licking the wound.
He'll feel even better when he won't need to wear them any more.
I have been working on my dossier and there's still more to update. Tomorrow will be a good day for that.
I spent 6 hours cleaning house today. Vacuuming door and window frames, corners from ceiling to floor and baseboards which LH neglected to do during my year and a half away from home most of the week. I am exhausted. I still have to dust and I need to vacuum the great room lamp shade. But it looks far more shiny and clean. I guess I forgot that two humans and two dogs can create such dirt. The shower stall is still a work in progress, but more clean than it was. The hard water here is always a problem. And LH forgets things like wiping down the top of the shower frame and door and the shower head. I suppose it takes a woman's touch to do those things.
I did a bit of shopping yesterday, which I haven't done in a while and really can't afford. But I did find a few things and the one t-shirt that matches the broomstick skirt (which were all on sale, plus an extra percent off coupon)and when I returned home much later in the afternoon and was cutting off tags to wash, didn't the t-shirt still have the plastic security tag on it. The darn salesclerk wasn't paying attention and forgot to check all the pieces and remove it. Now, I have make another 20 minute trip to the store (and the gas) and have it removed. Not my mistake, but it will cost me extra. It seems as though you have to watch each clerk whether at the grocery store ( not getting overcharged or getting the correct change back) and the other store clerks and make sure they do their job. Honestly, I, as a customer, shouldn't have to worry about such things and yet, I find I do. Whenever, I'm not paying attention to the clerk something goes wrong. Customer service is just atrocious in America. No one wants to calaim responsibility for making a mistake or missing up or not knowing the answer and the customer or client has to do all the leg work and checking, and double-checking. Certainly, there is much room for improvement in customer service in all aspects of the American life. Corporate, retail America, wake up and give us the customer service we deserve by providing you business. We should be treated well, not ignored because two employees are having a conversation about plans for the weekend and not acknowledging a customer's presence, or making mistakes that add extra time and effort not on the clerk, but on the customer. Some clerks just don't pay attention, or really care about what they are doing. It all just irks me.
Maybe, I'm just cranky from cleaning house all day!!!
At any rate, it's an extra trip I hadn't planned on making tomorrow when I could have been working on my dossier. But, it will get me out of the house for a bit tomorrow. So, perhaps, there is that grace in the whole thing.

2011-06-20T11:30:00.000-04:00

HOME -
I am glad to be home again. I have unpacked most everything, except one suitcase and few things still on the dining room table. The greys are delighted to have me home with them. Bigfoot Jett is doing well despite his still swollen lower leg and foot. It appears to have gone down some, but he still has a bigfoot. Tomorrow he gets his stitche removed. I pray that Jett is healing well.
I am thankful that it didn't rain on Thursday and Friday as the meterologists predicted. Which meant that all the many trips up and down the rickety wooden steps on Thursday with clothing and bedding, and LH's and my trips on Friday with toiletries and kitchen stuff all remained dry.
I did much laundry and put all the extra bedding and clothing away.
It was strange to be home yesterday and not make the trip to the church town on Saturday after dinner. I have to get used to this new rhythm of not serving a church.
I spent the morning on the frustrating task of updating my dossier which didn't save the first time and I had to rewrite most of the narrative. Then I hit the wrong button and submitted the incomplete, darn thing.
AAAGHHHHH....
Can they make it more complicated and frustrating? They also changed my number and password.
I think I'll let it go for awhile and then return to it or call headquarters and see how the can fix it for me to continue working on it.
At this rate it will take a week to get it done, especially if it doesn't save properly and I have to keep retyping the same darn info over and over again. What a complete waste of time!
As long as it takes to receive a call, you should only have to update your dossier every other year.
Today, I will be making macaroni salad for dinner. It's been a couple years since I made any and have a real taste for it. Homemade is much better than the stuff you buy at the gocery store.
We will be havng to live very lean without much income.
I did finish, The Elegance of the Hedgehog, which I started last year!
Now, I can move on to a couple other books that have been waiting in the wings.
This will be a week of adjustment and back to regular house cleaning on days when LH is at the church so he is not underfoot! That will come Thursday!
Just glad to be home and will NOT miss the apartment where I roasted in the summer and froze in the winter.

2011-06-15T11:37:00.000-04:00

Good-byes -
It has been a week of good-byes and folks here have been so gracious and loving. Indeed, they have brought me to tears. I will miss them, but I also know, it is time for them to move forward and they have a great, young pastor coming in, and they will be in God's good hands. The good-byes are still difficult and hard. They have welcomed me into their home, homes and lives. One 95 year old, cried and said, "But I wanted you to do my funeral service"!!!! I take it as a compliment that she trusted me to provide comfort and care for her family. I, of course, am greatly relieved that she is still doing well, despite some health issues and is still sharp. I hope she'll be around for a few more years.
So, I leave with some very special gifts and a heart and spirit warmed in the grace of Christian love. Sometimes I feel as if it is more than I deserve. I have felt more loved and cared for in all my many interims than I ever did in my installed position. Go figure. Perhaps, the affirmation is God telling me that being a wandering Aramean is not so bad. Afterall, didn't Jesus and Paul spend their days roaming the countryside?
But, the good-byes are the most difficult for me, even though I am often glad to leave certain things, challenges, people, behind.
And I know the cycle will be begin again, to get to know a new place, people and the community of faith they are. And to pray for God's help and grace to meet the challenges, and to guide them through a time of uncertainty as a non-anxious presence.
One last Session meeting this evening, and I am free to go back home (well, after I load up the van, tomorrow). But, a part of this Body of Christ will be ever with me and I will bear the imprint of their love upon my soul.
I give thanks to God for them, for being blessed to serve here, for such grace and love in the midst of my dark night. God is indeed with us, even in our dark nights and loves us. Thank you, dear Lord.

2011-06-13T10:58:00.000-04:00

BIGFOOT JETT UPDATE -
Jett still has bigfoot. It hasn't gotten any worse. The bandage is not to tight since I can get my finger or two fingers between his leg and bandage. He did barf up a little last night. LH will monitor him today.
We did get some sleep the next night. Apparently, the Xanax helped him to relax. It took pretty quick effect, but that silly grey fought it for two hours. His hips were swaying, he was unsteady on his feet, he stumbled around, but would he lay down and stay there? NO! Finally, after two hours of this, he did succomb to rest. He's been good ever since and we haven't had to give him anymore.
Maybe, I may need some after my last day here on Wednesday. So, much anxiety about what will come next and preparing myself for something new.
With interim ministry it is always about endings and begininnings and endings and beginnings....
My last Sunday was good, even if the congregation was a bit subdued. They had a farewell coffee hour with homemade blueberry muffins and cookies, and of course, I was the last one there!!!! I left with a few touching gifts and it was hard to say good-bye. What a great community of faith, but they are so ready to move forward and I am not the one to take them there but the new pastor coming in will. So I leave them in God's good hands.
I will not miss the apartment. I will not miss Saturday's leaving home after supper to return. I will not miss the hour drive. I will not miss the cold of the apartment with spaceheaters that cost an arm and a leg to heat during the winter. I will not miss the unbearable heat in the summer - especially this year since I sold my wimpy air conditioner from last year.
Three fans didn't do much and I drove home on the really hot nights.
One new tire and two new windshields later, I am glad to return home.
Ministry is lonely enough, difficult enough, without being able to sleep in one's own bed, in one's own home, with spouse and furry companions. It has been emotionally very hard on me these 19 months. I struggle with separation, probably because we spent our first year of marriage separated by 400 miles, an 8 hour drive, and only seeing each other once or twice a month. That was enough to last me a lifetime. AT least this time, if I really needed to go home, it was possible.
It is time for me to move on to the next thing God has in store. I am trusting and praying that something will come before too long.
Three more nights, then clean out the apartment and I'm home again!!!
Thanks be to God.

2011-06-10T16:56:00.002-04:00

BIGFOOT JETT -
LH had to take Jett to the Vet on Thurs. afternoon. We knew his leg was swollen from the surgery and it looked bigger than last time. So, LH gathered him up and drove to the Vet. They took his bandage off and said it was good we hadn't waited any longer.
So, Jett had one greyhound leg and foot and one that looked like it belonged to an English Mastiff!!! Ergo, Bigfoot Jett!!
The swelling went down and looked much better this morning, after an awful night of Jett sleeping in the grass and LH getting me up at 3 am and he going to bed. I slept on the couch and checked on Jett outside from time to time.
Finally, at nearly 6 am, Jett came in. His wound, unbandaged since the trip to the Vet, had a little pooling of blood. Finally, he laid down in the dog bed.
Today, the regular Vet appointment. Jett had a blood blister which they squeezed, cleaned the wound and rebandaged it. Back in the van, up the stairs into the house. He has been anxious ever since: lying down for 20 minutes, getting up , whining, drooling, etc. So, I called the Vet and took her up on the offer for a Xanax prescript which I just picked up. Waiting for LH to return from the store with some KauKauna cheese which is the only thing Jett will take medicine in.
Let's see, that makes 5 visits to the Vet and or Animal Hospital in 5 days. We'll keep the tally going. Hoping for a quiet, healing week with Jett.
Maybe, we can all sleep tonight. That is our prayer and our hope.

2011-06-09T10:17:00.001-04:00

I am disturbed -
well, probably in more ways than just this one!
Flipping through the TV channels on some evenings, I've run across TLC's
Extreme Couponing. Isn't this just another show on hoarding? Why are people stockpiling all manner of things - toiletries, peanut butter, cleaning supplies to the point that they could open up their own store? For what purpose? Some of the items they stockpile have expiration dates - like toothpaste, candy and pop.
If you're going to keep couponing because you like to get a deal, don't just stockpile, give it to the local foodbank or pantry, or women's shelter. It's more than you could possibly use in two years.
You, couponing people, keep referring to the thrill of the deal. Then what's the point in hoarding all that stuff and letting it go bad.
One was a couple with no children. Another lived in a nice house where at least one bedroom and more looked like a warehouse of cleaning supplies, liters of pop, etc.
Others spend hours pouring over coupons, paper and on-line, and planning their shopping strategy with 5 or more shopping carts filled to overflowing.
Another woman confessed that she cancelled out on family plans, time with sister, a luncheon date, etc. to do this coupon shopping. It is an unhealthy obessession and you are in need of therapy and rehab. You are missing out of life and relationships. Seek help!
And, of course, because of you, when I go to buy my single tube of toothpaste with my coupon, the shelf is empty, because you had to buy an enormous quantity to sock away in your basement or rooms.
I find it so very disturbing that you feel compelled to stockpile and hoard to the point that you could open your own store.
Get a life, spend time with your family, volunteer, donate your stockpiles that will expire to those in need. You'll feel even better.

Spiritually speaking, I can only refer to Jesus' words that are so true -
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal; but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:19-21)
I hope you wake up before your life is over and realize what you have missed and how much you could have done with your life, your gifts, your stockpiles of Snickers, Seven-Up, Tide and Lysol.
Although TLC probably airs this to raise awareness, it's merely sad and disturbing and I cannot watch it.
Surely, I am not the only one.

2011-06-06T16:45:00.000-04:00

Jett Update -
Jett got through surgery well. The Vet was able to carve out some nodules.
He is recovering at the Clinic until tomorrow. Thanks be to God!
It will be hard to wait until tomorrow to see him, but I know it's for the best for him and for us.
Thanks for any and all prayers.

2011-06-06T10:29:00.000-04:00

SURGERY -
Today Jett is having surgery, again, on the same left elbow. I dropped him off early this morning and sometime today, the Vet will carve out some more onerous tissue and stitch him back together.
We are requesting that he spend the night and get more anesthesia out of him before coming home. It was such a nightmare 7 months ago. He was up all night not knowing what to do with himself. Couldn't stand for long, yet too wired, upset, too sleep, had to go out which took all his energy and then flopped down in the grass for 20 minutes before he had the strength to stand up again and then I had to lift his hind end up the two steps into the house. I was up 24 hours and not my best self. I can't do that again.
I just pray all will go well and my dear, lovely Jett will have a few more months with us and grace our lives with his handsome face and good looks, his elegant being, and just the beautiful grey that he is.

2011-06-04T10:10:00.000-04:00

RGBP'S FRIDAY FIVE: SUMMER RERUNS

Summer Reruns Friday Five
It's that time of year when the only new things on television are music/dance competitions (the 21st century answer to variety shows?). Yes, it's the season of reruns.

This week the clock turned back to last fall and the Glee kids went back to school and still got "slushied," and Michael hired his nephew on The Office, which was not something even he would be likely to repeat.

In honor of this annual Time Warp, please share five things worth a repeat. These could be books, movies, CDs, recipes, vacations, or even TV shows.

1. Reruns of "Frasier" still make me laugh. The witty erudite comedy never
fails to amuse me. I have missed the show.

2. "Under the Tuscan Sun" will undoubtedly be popped into the DVD player
again sometime. One of my favorites.

3. Asian Cole Slaw will be on the menu several times during the summer.
Refreshing, cool, and goes well with hot dogs, hamburgers, etc.

4. Praying I can make a trip to Chicago/Wisconsin to the Lake House to
see my sister. We usually go every summer for a week. Without my working
it will be a real a challenge to be able to go. Perhaps, I may have to
go by myself without LH. And it just won't be the same.

5. Hoping to have enough tomatoes to make 4 quarts of lasagna sauce again
this year and using the fresh herbs in my garden.

2011-06-02T12:35:00.000-04:00

HARD TO BELIEVE -
Hard to believe that I'm down to my last two Sundays here in my interim.
The end has come way too fast. But needed to come. I wander off into the unknown and back home. Have to do transitional health care. I try not to get too anxious, but it is really difficult. I cannot believe that we are in such a situation. It is like living into your worst nightmare and live into it we must. I am trying to be faithful and meet God here, but the great Silence is still silent and I struggle and wrestle in hope, and faith, doubt and trust, disappointment and anger, fear and grace...
I pray that something will work out soon for us and that we will not have to be parted too far for too long. I simply can't do that again for greater distance or longer time.
I remind the church folks of God's providential care for bringing us together and how primed they for their new pastor - all set to go, new youth group forming, new cooking class for the community, choir restarted with new choir director, 2 baptisms, and 2 reaffirmations of faith in the last two weeks, and the exciting adventure in ministry and mission that is before them.
And for me, there is nothing but a yawning black hole of emptiness and nothingness. I will be brave and trusting in God, the Great Silence, as I step into this black hole of my future...

2011-05-28T11:21:00.000-04:00

It's Back...
Jett has developed another sore in the same area, left elbow where the other sore developed last year. It started out very small, like a scratch and has gotten bigger. The Vet thinks she can carve it out again and stitch it back up.
It's been 7 months since Jett's diagnosis of hemangiosarcoma. He's done really well. I hope this next surgery will give him another 5 months or so. The Vet didn't feel anything on the spleen, usually that's where the blood tumor develops.
So another round with surgery and recuperation. And my beautiful, elegant grey is back to wearing those blue inflatable donuts around his neck.
I'm praying he'll have a few more good months with us.

2011-05-24T16:36:00.000-04:00

What I Got -
what I actually got was Sinusitis
what I actually got was called to the hospital 45 minutes after getting home and feeling really cruddy and out of it.
what I actually got was a trip to the hospital for a parishioner who coded and was brought back
what I actually got was a new doctor's appointment the next day to replace
the one I had to cancel
what I actually got was to have prayer with the family, to hear the heart
cath went well and that I was contagious and not allowed into see the patient
what I did was call the past pastor (retired) to see the patient
what I did was wait for said pastor while family went up to the patient's
floor
what I got was home for a quick little dinner and into my comfy clothes
what I got was another call from the hospital that the patient recoded and
wouldn't recover
what I did was change, race down the hospital, and was with the patient
and family until after 9 pm when the patient was welcomed to her eternal home with God
what I got was a quick exam by my doc, and a prescription
what I got was wait for said prescriptions at the pharmacy
what I got was an afternoon of phone calls to secure an organist, make
arrangements with the family on Sat., and a call to the dinner coordinator
what I got was a short nap out of exhaustation and being sick
what I got was a full Sat. of family meeting, putting the service together, and the prayer service, squaring things with the organist
what I got was a subdued congregation on Sunday morning knowing they had
lost a beloved member
what I got was to leave by noon and arrive home for a quick nap before writing the sermon that was ever so hard to write
what I got was a prayer service for the family at the funeral home in the
morning, and a huge memorial service that afternoon at the church, overflowing sanctuary, dinner for 80 that somehow fed over 100, thanks to all the great casseroles that held out longer than the meat tray (miracle of fishes and loaves!)
what I got that evening was falling asleep on the sofa while watching TV
The committal service was today and I still have a cough and congestion.
My whole face hurt last Thursday from the sinusitis.
I pray for a quiet couple weeks to pack up and ride off into the sunset.
Thankfully, as difficult as the service was, it all went fairly well, barring losing power twice that morning in the middle of printing bulletins.
Pray that the funerals, deaths will now be ended for me. I cannot. do. another. I am spent.

2011-05-19T10:07:00.000-04:00

I'VE GOT IT!
Yup, an upper respiratory infection/bronchitis. Too bad I can't be seen til after 3 pm. I haven't been ill in 2 years and wham, I did too much, and didn't get enough sleep and lowered my immune system.
I will head home soon. Not worth much today. Trying hard not to fall asleep or to cough too much.
Just want to curl up in bed.

2011-05-18T11:31:00.000-04:00

WHAT A WEEKEND!
WHEW!!
It has been a whirlwind of activity.
On Friday, I did my usual grocery shopping and banking. Forgot the dog biscuits and had to go back for them and a bag of mulch. Mulched the trees out front, planted my wee tomatoe plants, did laundry, bagged up old catalogues and put them in garbage, prepared the guest bedroom - dusted, made the beds and cleaned the microwave, stove, fridge and dishwasher. Ran to the store to buy new, bigger, softer, fluffier towels for the guests and a new pillow to replace the ancient flat one. Also, had to launder the towels before hanging them up in the guest bath.
Got up early Sat, to drive to my FIL's memorial service. Actually, LH drove. Met family, but as usual, LH and SIL's didn't introduce me to a couple cousins. I guess I was to simply do a face scan and know who they were!!! I've perhaps, met them once in my life during the almost 24 years I've been married to LH and all the people I've met during my time of ministry.
Thankfully, the service went very well, in contrast to the dismal funeral service of LH's Mom 12 years ago. Good to see colleagues of my FIL there, doctors and SAR members. The president of the local chapter of the SAR spoke, LH read an e-mail from his Dad's friend, and I wrote and read a piece about my FIL, as a gift to the family, and one church member spoke. The Lutheran clergywoman handed the service and preached a good sermon - not too long, not too short and with some knowledge of my FIL.
Afterwards, there were sibling photos and a luncheon in the church social hall. Didn't get to spend much time with SIL's, who also had 3 friends there, and felt they should spend their time with BIL and wife who they hadn't seen in 12 years.
Had to declutter the kitchen table from old mail and catalogues and clean it when I got home. Had to clean the half bath and LH mowed on Sunday after lunch, well, just the front lawn. He never mows on a Sunday!
But with it raining every day and warmer weather and a bit of sun, the grass just grows like crazy. I swept the driveway and the sidewalk to the front steps.
Made a vege dip on Sat. and brownies on Sunday. Washed and cleaned veges for said dip.
Had a wonderful visit with BIL and wife, and the rain held off so we could grill.
It turned cold and rainy for our Amish country trip, and for the City on the North Coast Art Museum visit.
All in all, it went by so swiftly and we could have used another day together. I cooked and did the dishes every night, made eggs one morning, and pancakes the next. I was busy. A regular Martha!!!
Now I feel it. The scratchy rawness at the back of the throat, nasal drip and sneeziness yesterday. And that tired, just don't feel real good, feeling. I haven't been sick in two years and now, bam. Maybe, it won't be much of anything.
The brothers did pour over family albums and that was good for them.
I look forward to a more quiet day on Friday this week!

2011-05-12T12:04:00.000-04:00

Saddened -
I find that with the voting in for Amendment 10A, there is no joy, only sadness. Sadness for my denomination to give in to the prevailing culture, and to allow for its being ripped apart. With the approval of Amendment 10A, the church will change forever.
And it is not an exciting change full of the Spirit's power.
No one has "won" with the passage of this Admendment. Those who think they won - may see a much smaller denomination and an exodus of local churches. Those who feel they have "lost" and leave thinking they in end will have really "won", will be a part of us who will always be missing.
I feel only a deep, profound grief and sadness within me for my church, my denomination. A sense of we know not what we do.
I pray mightily that somehow, someway, God will show and lead us to find a way we can live together. Perhaps, I am merely a dreamer or an idealist. But my hope, my prayer is that we can live together even though we don't agree. But that's not the Presbyterian way. We have split and come together more times than I can count. Splitting is such a grievious thing for we are torn and rent from one another -forgetting that Christ prayed that we would be made one as Jesus and God are one.
So, I continue to pray for us all. I am not ready to leave my denomination.
And have lived in tension with this issue for most of my ordained ministry and still have not been able to write off one or the other side. I still grapple with scripture, Christ's call, the gifting of Holy Spirit, and the vows that we have upheld and I have tried to live faithfully.
I know most of the arguments, I have studied study papers of this denomination and another's, I have not bought into all the biblical interpretation that at times takes leaps I cannot, and I know grace, forgiveness, mercy, and the love of my Lord. I know that we all sin and fall far short. It has been and will continue to be a stumbling block. And even knowing and praying through all this over the years, I cannot concede one side over the other.
For now, all I know is a great sadness.

2011-05-10T14:28:00.000-04:00

QUIET ENDING -
I thought I'd end this interim quietly. Preach my good-bye sermon the week before my last Sunday and then celebrate Pentecost with Confirmation and ride off into the sunset to whatever God will unfold.
Not to be. I received a call from one who hasn't been in church for years and who wants to baptize her toddler and rejoin the church. So, on May 29th - a usually quiet holiday weekend, we will reaffirm her faith and baptize her child. Then, June 5th will be Communion Sunday, Grad Recognition, and my "good-bye" sermon. Followed by Pentecost with Baptism and Confirmation (one youth to be baptized first, then confirmed). I will not be leaving quietly!
But, I will be leaving with 4 new members added to the rolls. Which makes up, in part, for all the ones whose funerals I've officiated in my 19 1/2 months here.
I will certainly miss folks. It is a wonderful community of faith with energy, imagination and new things happening. I leave on a good and positive note. They will be riding high and anticipating the arrival of their new young minister and young family.
I leave uncertain as to what comes next, desiring some time off, but can't afford it. I pray it won't be too long before God provides a place for me to serve. And may it be close enough to home, that I can return in the evening and not have to rent an apartment and be far from home.
There will be lots of packing of boxes in these really short weeks. I will miss the people, but not having had to live here.

2011-05-05T12:19:00.001-04:00

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH -
I just discovered this morning what's wrong with the Presbyterian church
here where I am serving. I read it in the local paper. In the Church Ad section that lists all the churches and times of worship.
Apparently, we are celebrating Easter Mass this Sunday (well past Easter, who's calendar do we follow anyway? Plus, Presbyterians celebrating Mass? I think NOT!)
To make things even worse, this Presbyterian church and Presbyterian people, "follow the Easter Egg." That's it! We're following an Easter Egg and not Christ our Lord!(It was supposed to read that following worship is the Easter Egg Hunt.)
There you have it. That's what's wrong with the Presbyterian Church!

2011-05-04T11:00:00.000-04:00

ENOUGH -
It is enough. It is enough to know that OBL is dead. I do not need to see pictures. I do not days of analysis and knowing every little detail, especially those details that might compromise our nation's security and abilities.
It is enough to know.
I have been in the presence of evil on more than one occaision, and I cannot mourn it's death. But I cannot celebrate it either. It simply is. Over. Solemn relief. I pray for the families of all who lost loved ones. I pray for OBL's family who, perhaps, lost him years ago. I pray for our nation, Pakistan and the whole world. OBL may be gone, but the organization of hatred, violence and terrorism is not. When that is gone - then will come the celebrating.
For now, it is enough.

2011-04-29T13:30:00.000-04:00

RGBP'S FRIDAY FIVE - ROYAL WEDDING
With kathrynzj's help, here is a Royal Wedding Friday Five:

1) Will you be watching? If so, is this your first royal wedding?
Nope. Not getting up that early. Saw Diana & Prince Charles' with my
great-aunt when I was visiting my grandma in Switzerland.

2) The bride has chosen as her wedding cake a fruitcake. Where do you stand on this pastry?
Best used for a doorstop! Although, they are having the biscuit cake
as well. If it's anything like the one my nephew & his wife had at
their wedding with no flour, just chocolate, pound cake & cookies and
covered with Cadbury fingers, it will be mighty tasty! Should get that
recipe!
3) The dress code for royal weddings has not seen the same sad decline as that for most other weddings. If you could design your own royal wedding hat, what color would it be and what special decoration would it feature?
Probably sage green or a royal blue. Feathery things and a flower!

4) Any chance the Archbishop of Canterbury is using a Sustainable Sermon (tip of the mitre to the Vicar of Hogsmeade)? What would you tell the couple were you offering the homily?
Faith is a foundation for marriage and will see you through the best
and worst of times together. Love each other well. Laugh often. Be
kind and gentle with one another. Don't go to bed angry.
5) Believe it or not, kathrynzj is getting up early mostly to see the wedding dress. By the time this post is up, the world will have seen it. Did you like it?
Too much lace for me. It was pretty understated not much sparkly. I
liked that it wasn't strapless like all the gowns shown here which
is not flattering on everybody. I thought Diana's (although the train
was much too long!) was a fairy-tale princess dress and yes, dated
by today's standards. As long as the bride loved it and her prince
thought she was beautiful, that's all that really matters.

ALTERNATIVELY: If you don't want to play this, and think we are goofballs, that's okay. Instead of telling us we're goofballs, why don't you tell us something fun you're going to do this weekend. We promise to get around to visit all of you eventually!

2011-04-28T11:43:00.000-04:00

SMILING JESUS AT TABLE -

Since we are celebrating Joy Sunday and it is the first Sunday of the month which is Communion Sunday, I thought it would be meaningful to have a picture of a smiling risen Jesus at the Emmaus table. No such luck.
When I think on that scene, breaking bread with Cleopas and follower, I can imagine the delight in Jesus's eyes and a smile on his lips, as they recognized him and he played this little surprise on them.
To all you artists out there. Consider a smiling Jesus at the Emmaus table and post it so it can be used with church power points.
Just a thought in my humble opinion.
And just for fun:
Today's gas prices are higher than a dog's hopes at a church picnic!

2011-04-25T09:09:00.004-04:00

The Swiss are known for being scrupulously clean and efficient.
Here's proof:

http://www.swissinfo.ch/eng/multimedia/video/Mountain_clean_up.html?cid=7319646

2011-04-19T12:28:00.000-04:00

In the midst of Holy Week,
a wee spark I might offer and perhaps, a bit of fresh air, for the hurried and harried, and burdened.

"I stuck my head out of the window this morning and
Spring kissed me
bang in the face"
(Langston Hughes)

May not only Spring but Easter, the Resurrection, kiss us bang in the face!

2011-04-15T15:53:00.000-04:00

RGBP'S FRIDAY FIVE -BIRTHDAYS!

Jan notes, How about you? What do you think of birthdays?

1. What are your feelings about celebrating birthdays, especially your own?
It's nice to celebrate one is still alive and kicking. Enjoy receiving
cards, the occasional gift and dinner out!

2. Do you have any family traditions about birthdays?
Growing up we used to say what we'd like for dinner. Mom cooked it.
Then there would be cake with candles and the obligatory off-key,
"Happy Birthday to you..." song!
3. Is it easy to remember friends' and family members' birthdays? If so, how do you do it?
We're not a large family so I can remember the birthdays pretty
readily. As long as I don't forget to send out the birthday card!

4. What was one of your favorite birthdays? (or your unhappiest?)
My unhappiest birthday was when I turned 7. We moved two blocks up the
same street on my birthday and I couldn't have a birthday party with
my friends. I missed out on a party, cake, and gifts. I did get my
bedroom and didn't have to share one with my sister anymore, so that
was kind of a birthday gift.
My favorite was my 50th - my sister surprised me with a cruise to the
Bahamas along with my niece. IT was fun and beautiful. Enjoyed mango
coolers on deck, walking around Nassau to the historic sites and just
having a girls' weekend while it was cold, snowy and grey in OH.

5. Post anything else you want to share about birthdays, including favorite foods, songs, and/or pictures.
Usually, LH and I just go out to dinner for our birthdays. Since he
provides my birthday cake it ends up being a Hostess chocolate
cupcake with a candle in it. No left overs, no muss, no fuss. One
year we drove to Princeton Seminary for a Con Ed class on my b-day.
Spent the entire day in the car. We hurriedly light the candle on
my cupcake and blew it out fast so as not set off the sprinkler in
the room!!!

2011-04-13T11:30:00.001-04:00

"Longing remembrance is born when there is love and absence."
Rubem Alves

Seems this dark night of the soul is indeed about longing remembrance. Longing remembrance of God's loving presence and my spirit and God's Spirit joined as one, breathing together as one.
There is within me the imprint of the gracious love of Christ, of what has been and is now absent.
My spirit desires, longs, yearns to return to that time. Did not the disciples feel the same as they grieved and mourned the death of their Lord?
Did they not live with longing remembrance?
It seems that I will live with longing remembrance for more time to come. It hasn't really abated nor changed. A restless spirit that seeks but cannot find, though not for a lack of trying, or a lack of prayer. I keep plugging along with this longing remembrance ever a part of my heart and my being.
And I cling to that longing remembrance, as though awaiting its promise of return and a hope that cannot be fully explained.
I touch and eat bread and inhale the perfume of the wine and drink it, and although I know my Lord is present there, I am filled with longing remembrance within my soul.
I miss the joy of my salvation, my delight in the Lord, and I cannot recreate it. It must come from outside of me. It must come from God's Spirit, which cannot be controlled. So I wait, with longing remembrance, soulful, sad, hopeful despite the time it is taking. I miss the passion, the joy, the delight, in all of its fullness. I am learning how to be content with thimblefulls. But still the desire for more is there. The more I used to know and have and live within.
Perhaps, with the passion of Christ so close, perhaps, with the my time here coming to an end, and nothing new as yet on the horizon, I am grieving, and filled with longing remembrance even moreso.
There is the greening of the grass and fields, the greening of the woods, and my insides groan of the winter's bleak, brown, still unawakened landscape within me.
With longing remembrance I cling to the love I've known and had and still have, but feel not. It is lonely with the Great Silence. But I wait, and do and serve...all with longing remembrance.

2011-04-07T12:37:00.000-04:00

You'll Forgive Me...
if I don't check in as much while running around looking and wailing like Edvard Muench's The Scream!!!!!
Not only working on Maundy Thursday with communion and Tenebrae, but also this Sunday, Palm Sunday which is also a candidate for called pastor preaching and congregational meeting date. I will also be moderating this congregational meeting. Then I am to work on Easter Sunday, Joy Sunday following that one with meetings all next week, a Mother-Daughter-Sister-Friend banquet, and a National DAy of Prayer Service thrown in for good measure.
I am making sure that the candidate looks as good as possible and the congregation is ready to move forward and I confess, I am ready to live at home again. Only I cannot rest and have to actively seek a new position. I don't even have time to update my dossier at the moment.
Exciting as the candidate is and it making for a joyous and celebratory Easter and Easter season, it will be a whirlwind of activity, not the least being, cleaning out the office, eventually and cleaning out the apartment. Uh!
I remind myself, one day at a time. That is how God has graced us, grace sufficient for each day.
I will ride off quietly into the sunset of who knows what will be next. I will need to grieve leaving this congregation as well. I have loved them and been well-loved, perhaps more than I deserve.
It will make for an interesting Holy Week!
I will most likely be here another 9 weeks, but they go in a hurry.
So, forgive me in this season of forgiveness, grace and mercy, if I am somewhat absent. I will do my best to keep my head firmly on my shoulders, and listen to the still small voice from out of the mighty blustering whirlwind of life at this time.

2011-04-02T11:17:00.001-04:00

RGBP'S FRIDAY FIVE: QUICK PICK EDITION

I am asking for five quick picks of things that are good in your life. And as a bonus, 1 pick for a thing you could do without.
If you want to describe them? Great.

1. Jett is still with us and celebrating his 10th birthday today!!!

2. Ladies' NO. One Detective Agency DVD set, I am presently watching
and reliving the books all over again!

3. There is still some Swiss chocolate left and one bag of Milk Chocolate
Clodhoppers from Canada. If only they'd market them here. Maybe not a
good idea. Can't afford to gain any more weight!

4. I have most of my services planned out until the 2nd Sunday of Easter.

5. My sister and my best friend. Also LH, my partner and best friend.

BONUS: I can do without all the cold and would welcome more spring-like temps!

2011-03-29T11:52:00.000-04:00

Yet Another Funeral -
I am ready for a couple of months with no funeral.
The one Thursday is an elderly man whom I visited once last month and was planning to visit again this week. Only he died before I could visit again.
It was unexpected. He was a gruff, salty kinda guy with fuzzy memories that Alzheimer's brings. I didn't even know about him 'til middle to late January, when his SIL called and mentioned he could use a visit. I've been visiting that nursing home for over a year and nobody told me. Course, he hasn't darkened the church probably for 30 or more years. His daughter remembers coming to church when she "was little."
I'm beginning to feel like an angel of death. Most everyone I've visited in the nursing homes have died and some I visited at home.
I'm beginning to feel scared to visit to visit the homebound and the last remaining one in the nursing home, for fear it won't be long until they too, pass away and join the church triumphant.
I'll be known as the interim who brought death to members rather than life. I've lost more members than have been gained during this interim.
That's probably happened in most every church I've served.
It's not that I haven't reached out and spent time ministering to non-members. They just haven't joined. It also seemed that every visitor to whom I sent a note thanking them for worshipping with us and an invitation to call me, should they have a need, was never met by someone joining the church. All the members who have joined did so, by the invitation of a member of the church.
In my 26 years of ministry, that's not much of a track record. But, I know, that in some ways, I have brought Christ a little closer to them in their time of need. The rest, of course, is in God's hands. I am not an evangelist by any stretch of the imagination, although, I do tell the good news of Jesus Christ in my preaching, in my praying, in my visiting the lonely and the homebound and the sick, in the confirmation class, etc.
I just don't appreciate this mantle of the harbringer of death I seem to be wearing lately. It is unsettling, unnerving.
Just a couple months more and I pray onto a new place to serve...May I bring life and the promise of new life into this week, into the funeral, into wherever I will be blessed to serve next.

2011-03-26T10:33:00.000-04:00

RGBP'S FRIDAY FIVE: SPIRITUAL PRACTICES

For today's Friday Five, please share with us five spiritual practices or disciplines from your experience. They can be ones that you have tried and kept up with, tried and NOT kept up with, ones that you flirt with at various times, or even practices that you have tried and found are definitely NOT your cup of tea. Let us know what's worked for you...and not.

1. Lectio Divina -
although I don't engage in lectio every time I study the Bible, it
has been a most helpful spiritual practice. I find that I read the
Bible text slower on Sunday mornings in the pulpit as well which I
believe congregations have appreciated. When done in a group, it is
even more meaningful for me as the passages expand in greater depth,
significance and meaning.

2. Daily Examen - opps, it should be daily, but I admit that it isn't
always daily. I find it helps me to know where I was close to God that
day, to thank God, and to confess where I missed the mark, and what
lead me away from God.

3. The Jesus Prayer - this is one I engage with from time to time. It was
a great struggle for me to pray this prayer as I was too focused on
getting the phrasing correct. However, when I heard the prayer set to
music, it opened up for me. Now, when I pray the Jesus prayer, I put to
the music I heard it set to in my head. That works for me.

4. Labyrinth - this has been a wonderful way for me to pray with my body
and has centered me. I don't often get the chance to walk it any more.
I have had some incredible prayer experiences when I walked the
labyrinth. It never ceases to totally amaze me.

5. Spontaneous Prayer - my most active practice. More times a day than
sometimes I can count. A quick prayer of intercession for someone, a
thank-you for something I have noticed, felt, or was given, or a word of
adoration. From the mundane to the sacred in the moment, I speak them
to God. And as Meister Eckhart has pointed out, if giving thanks is
all we do, than that is prayer enough.

2011-03-23T12:06:00.001-04:00

POLE DANCING FOR JESUS -
Is anyone else somewhat disturbed by this new trend of church ladies pole dancing to Christian music?
Quite frankly, there's something really disgusting about it and I can't help but ponder what our Lord must be thinking, shaking his head side-to-side, his heart aching, thinking this is NOT bringing me any glory whatsoever.
Why do you need a pole to dance your faith any way? Isn't it more freeing not to be "tied" to a pole and let your spirit and body move freely?
Wouldn't it please Jesus more if you danced your way through life, sharing his love, feeding the hungry, visiting the imprisoned, comforting the sick, clothing the naked, etc.?
There is a difference between something sensual and something sexual. Pole dancing falls in the latter. Prayer and images, meditation and dancing can be sensual without being sexual.
Pole dance for your husband, if you must or will. But, please, don't do it for Jesus.
Just wondering if I'm the only one who finds it sullying, and just plain, out-of-place or have I turned into a I just-don-t get-it, middle-aged frump?

2011-03-21T13:01:00.000-04:00

Seven years last fall, I planted hope one afternoon. In the dirt of the front flowerbeds, I put in crocus, tulip and daffodil bulbs. Today, with the crocuses blooming which have every year multiplied, I am the first in the neighborhood to have something blooming and a splash of color. Such a simple thing and now, all who pass by can see them and I enjoy and delight in them.
This spring, I am looking for hope. For something new to spring up for LH and I. I suppose it would mean moving and I will have to leave my beloved meadow with the open view of the sky behind. I will have to leave my gingko, my perenials - grape hyacinths, coneflowers, siberian iris, brown-eyed susans, bee balm, baby's breath and butterfly bush behind. I hope the next owners will enjoy them.
I hope that something will come forth for us; new life, a place to serve, a place to call home and live together, a backyard for our greys. I hope it is not too much to ask or to hope for.
Will the hope I planted in my heart from the Word of God, take root and bloom this year? May it be so. May it be so.

2011-03-18T12:59:00.000-04:00

SPRING IS HERE!!!!
How do I know? The crocuses are busting out in beautiful purple blooms with orange centers. Just gorgeous amid a brown and empty landscape! Even the honeybees are out sampling the first blooms of spring. Vibrant, wonderful, glorious color!!!

2011-03-17T15:44:00.000-04:00

BACK ON-LINE!
Yikes, the computer modem went out at the church and I spent a long afternoon with two different tech support people, plus our local computer magician only to find out that our modem went bad. So, a new modem had to get shipped and then another 1 1/2 hours on the phone with tech support again to get the modem to register.
All this for a little box with a bunch of cables plugged into it.
Couldn't check my email all week or look up anything. Felt disconnected.
Nothing like a little black box with cables hooked up that makes the magic of the internet appear on your screen and connect you with the larger world.
I can't even begin to imagine how disconnected the people of Japan are feeling in the midst of such a horrific disaster and nuclear crisis. My prayers are with the grieving, suffering, anxious, fearful, overwhelmed people of Japan. The images were surreal and yet all too real. And one's heart aches at the enormity of it all.
I am slowly, ever gently having to disconnect from my time here as the PNC is close to finding a new pastor. My time is getting shorter and I will need to find another position, another place to serve. Sometimes, it seems my future is as bleak looking as some of the folks and areas of Japan. Yet, I press on, trusting that somehow, someway, God will provide and open something up for us.
This living on the edge of nonexistence, this teetering on-the-edge-of-a-plate life is wearing thin, has zapped my energy, my imagination, and has broken me. All I can do is bring the fragments to the Potter who can heal and make whole. All I can do is seek the wee flicker of light in this dark night of my soul. All I can do is pray to the Great Silence, and wait and trust.

2011-03-11T10:52:00.007-05:00

RGBP'S FRIDAY FIVE: ALL ABOUT CARS

Maybe it's just me, but I often remember how long ago someting occured or something about it by recalling the car we had at the time. For today's Friday Five, tell us about the cars in your life.Specifically, tell us about:

1. The earliest recollection you have of a family car -

It was a pinkish beige Chrysler, early 1960's with a bit of a fin and
slanted front headlights. It had a clear plastic covering over the
seats that had tiny raised triangles on it that left imprints on your
bare legs. Of course it was hot in the summer and you stuck to it and
cold in the winter. There weren't any seat belts as I recall nor did
we have car seats. The front and back were bench seats.

2. The first car you drove when you could (legally) get behind the wheel yourself. -

That would be when our family had two cars and our second car was a stripped down 1972/73 Ford Maverick, with plastic flooring, only an AM radio and my sister and Mom shared it.
Later I shared it with them. The family car was a Chrysler Newport -
brown, as long as the Queen Mary, which I had to wash and wax. I also
drove that one, but preferred the smaller, easier to park Maverick.
The last year we had the Maverick ($3,000.00 brand new)I drove it
commuting to our nearby community college. It had no heat any more
and I wrapped myself in a wool blanket. The backseat floor behind
the driver's seat was soft - rusted through and you couldn't put
anything heavy like grocery bags on it!

3. A memorable road trip -

Wow, there were so many. Perhaps, the most memorable were in my Dodge
Charger that my folks got me when I graduated from Seminary. Also,
a bare bones car that had AM/FM radio, but no A/C. It was grey 1984
model. I had a sunroof put in to help ventilate in summer. I drove
400 miles every other weekend from OH to IL to be with my husband
LH. That was during the summer of 1988. The summer of the hot drought.
I'd arrive in IL and hit the shower just to cool off and wash the
dusty road grime off of me. Two weeks before our first anniversary,
we actually moved in together in OH. I also vowed never again to own a
car without A/C!!!

4. The car you drive now. Love it? Hate it? -

I am on my third Dodge minivan and I do love it. Room enough to haul
all my stuff, especially living away from home again. Plus, it
accomodates our two greys. The middle bench is stored away in the
basement and so anyone sitting on the back bench has plenty of leg
room. I love my perch and view while driving. Just wish it had a
moonroof.

5. An interesting story that involves you and a vehicle. (No, I do not have a dirty mind!)-

We had Dad's old company car early 1980's Mercury Cougar, 4 door
sedan, Ivory cream color shipped to Switzerland and stored at my
Grandma's (who never learned to drive). Whenever we went over, we
had a car available to us. We went over quite often. During the
summer of 1983, when I interned at a church 2 towns over from my
Grandma's I had use of the car for the summer. When I went to see
the church for the first time on a Sat. there was a wedding. I was
told by some guest who pointed by church and said park down there.
I took them literally, and found myself driving down stairs toward
the church and found a little alley to turn into. I was mortified
as onlookers watched a crazy American driving a "big" American
car down the steps!!!! The car survived with nary a scratch. I was
very shaken!!!
When LH and I made our honeymoon to Switzerland 5 years later, we
drove the old Cougar and decided one day to take the most direct and
shortest route from a resort village to another bigger town. The road
on the map was a thin yellow line. OK, so it was a small road.
However, part way across the hill, we were stopped by the military
who said they were "shooting a little" that day. I said we were just
passing through to the one town. He radioed to suspend shooting til
we were through and waved us on. A little ways later, the road turned
to gravel and then just two dirt tracks through meadow. After 10-
15 minutes it became a narrow one lane road again. Needless to say,
we took the longer, wider road home that evening. I put that old
Cougar through a lot, and it survived, by the grace of God!!!

Despite the above stories, I am a very good driver and have miles and
miles to prove it!

Bonus: What's your idea of good "car music?"

Usually "oldies": Beach Boys, Styx, America, Supertramp, Carole King,
Manhattan Transfer, Gordon Lightfoot, Bare Naked
Ladies, Simon & Garfunkel, The Cars and a good
oldies station. Quite an ecclectic mix!!!

2011-03-08T15:54:00.000-05:00

A Blessed Lent -
LH told me he heard the trill of the red-winged blackbird in the meadow behind our house. Although, he didn't see them, he heard them. They have a rather distinctive call. The first sign of spring around these here parts is not the robin, which often spends the winter here, but the red-winged blackbird.
The crocuses are pushing up as are the hyacinths, daffodils and tulips, but the crocuses will bloom first.
Lent begins this year not in the tight-fisted clasp of winter but in the opening hand of spring, ready to receive new life.
Most in our culture and society pay no attention to this sacred season of Lent. It comes and goes without much notice, except for the bunnies, baskets and bags of jelly beans and candy.
I find I need Lent, to offer up the deadness, finiteness of my life, to empty out the accumulated stuff I gather in a year within me and to be more intentional in prayer, in reading scripture, in time with my Lord. I need to be drawn into the passion of Christ and to be touched once again by a sacrifice of love so great, that I am here, alive, and counted as one who is loved and belongs to God, no matter how flawed I am or how grimed with sin I become. It was for me, my Lord suffered and died. It was for you he bore such pain and death. It was for the whole of creation, yes, even the ones who walk through these Lenten weeks oblivious, that the Beloved One emptied himself on the cross and endured the anguish he did, so that you would someday know how very beloved you are.
Wake up world! Wake up people! Leave your shallowness and superficial living behind and come, come and journey these Lenten to the ugly, awful cross and know a love so amazing and astounding that you will be made whole and all that you seek in the trivialities in life, but which never satisfy, will fill you to overflowing and you will want no more.
Blessed be this season of Lent to you.
I will eventually make it home to hear the trill of the red-winged blackbird and to crocuses blooming, and the cup of my being will overflow for the grace and gift of this blessed and glorious holy season.

2011-03-03T11:39:00.002-05:00

PREPARING FOR ASH WEDNESDAY

This was a dual personality week - working on Transfiguration Sunday and the mountain high of Jesus dazzling and sparkling and recalling all those wonderful holy moments and encounters with God in my life and then transitioning to the solemn and somber Ash Wednesday where we encounter our mortality and sinfulness. From mountaintop to valley in seconds and hours.
I want to stay on the mountain but know I am called to serve in the valley.
I have made my list of items to bring for Ash Wednesday. I had been mulling over the idea of having a paper shredder and slips of paper where folks could write down and pray their sins and then send the paper through the shredder. A visual reminder that are sins are swallowed up, shredded, destroyed, gone in the grace and saving death of Jesus Christ.
When I went to big office store #1, shredders began at $50.00 to nearly $300.00. Way out of my price range. So, I let the idea go and planned a very simple, traditional service.
During the week, I worked on Lenten bookmarks - hoping folks will use them as they spend more time in scripture reading, meditation and prayer. I had to go to Basic Office Store to run copies off on card stock. I also wanted to pick up three more pens made from recycled water bottles. (Did you know that gel ink doesn't freeze like ball point pen ink? I was able to write with the one stored in my van to record mileage without any problem all winter long! Consider this a free tip of the day!!!)
As I headed to the checkout, what should my eye behold? An entire display stack of shredders for $19.99. It was serendipitious! God was calling me to go ahead and work with it. So, I returned to church aglow with the shredder in the back of the van.
On the drive back, it occurred to me that I would need to have some scripture, directions, prayer and assurance of forgiveness, besides slips of paper and pens & pencils. So, I wagged my finger at God, and said, "You are a sly One! Just when I gave up the whole idea, You present it and tell me to run with it. Only I haven't worked it all out! Thanks, a bunch, Lord!"
I have learned to pay attention to such moments. They don't happen by mere chance and God and God's Holy Spirit have been behind them all, directing me, leading me, teaching me. They are wonderful grace-filled moments, mountaintop moments of a more mundane nature, but nonetheless, an ordinary thing made alive with possibility. Who would ever think a shredder could have such a holy use? God takes the simple, ordinary, mundane thing and transform it into something more and greater or a way to point to God's Own Self.
It humbles me every time. And amazes me every time.

2011-02-28T12:44:00.001-05:00

We Were Supposed To -
We were supposed to go and get our taxes done on Friday. That was the plan. We had scheduled the time. Made the appointment. Winter had something else in mind. Winter is not leaving without a fight. Winter came overnight and most of the morning long, covering everything in white. So much so, at times you could barely see across the street. The wind gusted and blew and we knew, we did. We were not going anywhere.
At least, not until LH fired up the snowthrower and the wind abated and the snowplow would come through. LH made it out the grocery store late Friday afternoon.
I did my laundry, my mending, my pulling items for the children's sermon, and locating items for Ash Wednesday, playing Solitare on the computer, when I should have been working.
One more snow day before winter ends. Of course, March has been known to bring a storm or two.
And today, after two days of warmer weather and rain, the snow is nearly all melted. Come and gone so quickly and disturbing our careful plans.
This coming Friday, we are supposed to go and get our taxes done...We will try again!

2011-02-24T11:11:00.000-05:00

SOMETHING FOR SUNDAY -

"Worry is like a rocking chair;
it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere."
Erma Bombeck

I've stopped worrying about tomorrow because it made me too ill and paralyzes me. I am learning to trust God more without knowing what tomorrow will bring or where I'll be or what LH will be doing. It's so beyond our control at this point, I can do no other than to simply trust God as hard as it is, especially, when I think there must be something I can do. Sometimes, you have to simply trust God and keep praying.
I cannot concieve of not having health insurance - but it may happen. I cannot conceive of not having an income - but it may happen.
Trusting God is so very difficult at times. But it helps to know that I am inscribed on God's palms and not forgotten. I cling to that. That God has not forgotten us.
And so, I will not worry about tomorrow, I have enough to deal with today.

2011-02-22T13:11:00.000-05:00

JAUNTY -
Hard to think of my staid, middle aged, workhorse minivan as jaunty. But today, after our major snowfall, it sported a jaunty mohawk look. Covered in a good 5 inches of snow, I worked for 15 minutes sweeping the snow off the windows, the fenders, the hood of the van, and even managed to reach the edges of the luggage rack going the length of the van. I am too short to reach or go beyond that. I then had to scrape off the windshield.
I parked her in the church parking lot under a blue sky with sunshine. And she looked rather jaunty and sporty with the snow piled inches tall on her roof and cleared off everywhere else.
Alas, it only lasted this morning, as the sun now is beginning to radiate some heat and has partially melted the mohawk.
But there for a time, my minivan looked jaunty!

2011-02-17T12:09:00.000-05:00

Birthday Eve -
Tomorrow will be another birthday. I am thankful to enjoy another birthday, just not so sure about going deeper into my 50's. It is as it is, and I am ever amazed at how the years have zipped by. Each year even faster.
I don't think I get as much done or accomplished as I used to.
My life is structured by the seasons of the church year and plays out Sunday to Sunday. Although, this past year, there is an undertone of Thursdays to Thursdays, since I get to go home.
This year, my birthday falls on my day off! WhooYoo! And it doesn't fall in Lent! WhooYoo! It would be a great year to party! Think I'll settle for a dinner out with LH and a frozen adult beveridge for dessert and if LH is thinking, some chocolate cupcake with a candle on it.
For the most part, I am simply grateful to be able to wake up in my own bed next to LH and to be in the company of greyhounds. Now, that's the best B-Day present ever!
In the meanwhile, I'll just have to get used to being this age and pray that there are many more birthdays to celebrate ahead of me. And that this year will bring some new adventure and fresh good changes. That is my prayer, that is my wish. To do more than merely exist, to live as I was created to live, fully, deeply and at one with my God.

2011-02-16T12:22:00.001-05:00

WESTMINSTER - THE DOG SHOW, NOT THE CATHEDRAL

Although, I always root for the greyhound, last night, I was rooting for the golden retriever (after the Deerhound, of course). Goldens and Labs are the most popular dogs, yet Goldens have never won. If there would be a Hall of Fame for dogs, Goldens should be in. They are great dogs as a whole. Good all around family dog, therapy and service dog, and usually with great personalities.
I also liked the Weimeraner. Thought it was a great looking dog.
For fun I like the Puli and Kommondor.
It was no surprise to me to see a Pekingese, the cocker spaniel or the Porteguese Water Dog (I am amazed it didn't win due to the President owning one). They are close if not some of the usual picks. The PBGV and Dandididmont are always culled from their groups.
I'm waiting for the Rhodesian Ridgeback, The Golden Retriever, and The Greyhound to win.
It is a really politcal, who knows who sort of sport.
But they are all really great and wonderful dogs and it's fun to watch them. Sometimes I wonder how the judge can make a decision when they have a whole collection of such fantastic dogs before them. I know each breed has meet their conformation, but really, didn't all those dogs look great?
In the end, we all have our favorite breeds and hopefully, make our home with one.
I figure my boys won't ever win any dog show as they are ex-racers, but they place best in show in my heart. Jett is so good looking and proportioned he could almost make a dog show. Jazz, alas, is pure racer, compact, sturdy, boney, bow-legged but with a face that melts your heart.
And that's all it's about in the end. Love your hounds and let them love you. They are a delight and a comfort, a gift of grace and joy.
No, my boys aren't show dogs, but they are living their second chance at life, with creature comforts of doggie beds, couch, knitted afghan, food and dinner scraps in their dishes, milkbones aplenty, a yard to run and romp around in, someone to care for, rub them and love them. What more is there?
They don't need bows on their heads (not enough fur), they won't ever been seen in any kind of outfit or get-up, their nails are not painted. They are as they are, just like God made them and more than satisfied and content.
Jett and Jazz, you're my best in show.
And congrats to the Scottish Deerhound, who actually won. One down and three on my list to go!!!!!

2011-02-14T16:42:00.000-05:00

HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED?
I bought a new blouse this past week, a kind of early birthday present.
Maybe, I just wanted something springy to look forward to amid all the ice and snow packed down and somewhat grimey, grey, yucky and black.
It had buttons down the placket and on the cuffs.
I also bought a 3/4 length sleeve shirt with shell-like buttons along its V-neck.
I washed them according to the label instructions:
the v-neck shirt I washed inside out, cold water, gentle cycle. When the washer was done, I pulled out the shirt. Two buttons were completely off and at least two others were dangling by a thread. Actually, since there were sewn on continuous thread and not sown on separately, when one goes, the next is affected and in time, all will be affected.
the blouse I washed cold water, regular cycle. When the washer was done and I hung the blouse to dry, lo and behold, the bottom button was missing. I looked and reached in the washer and there was the small button, busted. The middle of the button looked like a doughnut or bagel one hole in the middle instead of 4 tiny holes.
Please note, neither shirt had ever been worn. They had been washed only one time for the first time.
I spent part of my weekend, resewing buttons.
I have spent a lot of time resewing buttons in recent years.
Have you noticed that clothing manufacturers run thread into the buttons to attach them to the garment but there are no real knots. Which means, of course, that the buttons will come off in now time at all. Thankfully, they often include an extra button.
However, in the case of my blouse (light blue with blue and sage green splattered dots), I had to use the extra button to replace the one that broke in the wash. It would've been nice to wear the shirt at least once.
If another button breaks, I will have to go to the fabric store and replace all buttons, because I am sure I won't find an exact match.
Have you all noticed the loose button situation with your clothing?
Annoying isn't it?
Thank goodness, I do know how to sew on a button. Now if the clothing manufacturers could figure it out, that would be even better.

2011-02-14T12:10:00.002-05:00

The Sound of the Thaw
It was a sound that really was music to my ears-
It startled me when I heard it
for my ears have not beheld that sound in many, many weeks,
even months.
There is a Zen-like quality to the sound that reaches down
into one's very soul
and awakens it.
It's trickling, tinkling sound spoke to me, gladdened my heart and spirit
filled me with hope and long did I listen that Sunday morning at
church and then at home in the afternoon and evening when the
sky was blue and pink.
Ahh, the sound of melting snow running in streams through the gutters
and into the downspout, harkening, laughing, the thaw has come,
the thaw has come...
Can spring be far behind?
What a luscious sound I heard on Sunday
of ice and snow melting into a melody all its own.
The thaw has come serenading us with music!

2011-02-10T10:23:00.000-05:00

Sometimes -
sometimes I feel so out of touch
out of place
old
inadequate
weary
ready to retire
uninspired
like I missed the train
uncertain
yet somehow loved in and through and by it all
by a love so deep and true that even when I feel
it not, or doubt it, it is there...ever there
and I make it through another day and another week
held in a love as vast as the universe yet often
invisible, nearly undetectable...but ever there.

2011-02-07T17:09:00.000-05:00

MONDAY THOUGHTS -
Snow has begun to fall again, here. Light, tiny flakes that aren't yet sticking to the walkways or streets. It will, before the evening falls. Another arctic blast will descend and it will be bitterly cold. The sky is a light grey and we've had two days of sunshine, maybe three in the whole month of January.
One of our elderly homebound says the walls are beginning to close in on her! Cabin fever!
A reminder to me how important it is to stop in and check on folks within the congregation. To make the time for a visit. It doesn't always need to be a visit with deep theological discussion, just to be there, to make time for that person, to pray for them and with them, to inquire about how they're feeling, to break up the monotony of their day or week. To genuinely want to spend some time with them and to share news they hadn't heard through e-mail or because they weren't in church Sunday.
I feel several visits coming on this week. It is good for me and for them and keeps us all connected in a very personal way, which the computer can't do.
So the grace of these cold, snowy, icy days are the warmth of connections between one another and the maintaining of relationships within the fold. It makes the last weeks of winter more bearable.

2011-02-03T20:10:00.001-05:00

Spring Countdown

2011-02-03T10:43:00.001-05:00

BRRRRR......
It's a cold one today but the sky is blue and the sun is shining.
After the ice coated and encrusted everything, it began to rain overnight. On Wednesday morning, as I was ready to leave for the church, the secretary called and said the church had no power. Wouldn't be able to do a thing!
I looked at the rickety wooden steps and handrail which were just wet and no longer encased in ice and sighed.
I plugged in the old laptop and worked on my sermon and prayers. By late morning,the temp had dropped dramatically and the wind was blowing unmercifully.
By 5 pm the cable had been restored and I could catch the news. I had been playing the radio so I wasn't totally in the dark.
I was thankful for the old laptop and that my part of the town hadn't lost power.
Today it is just really, really cold.
Playing catch-up to get every ready for Sunday and I get to leave at noon to go home today!!! I would've preferred being snowed/iced in at home with my boys, but the quiet keep me from distractions and helped me to get my sermon done.
All of a sudden, salt has taken on more meaning - salt that thaws the frozen from their fear, anxiety or despair, that melts the iced hardness of bitterness and hatred, etc.
I pray that power will continue to be restored to all still without heat and light. Although, my space heaters aren't much, there still give heat and keep it in the 60's.
May we, Midwesterners be salt and light especially now, and every day.
As we reflect on the gift of salt and light, our need of salt and light, may we more fully become the salt and light to which Christ calls us and to a world sore in need of both.

2011-02-01T12:21:00.003-05:00

THE ICE COMETH -
This morning was all about asking; will I be able?
Will I be able to go down the rickety wooden steps from the apartment
without slipping? The landlord salted the steps, but the wooden handrail
was coated in ice, not much of a help.
Will I make it to my ice encased van, without slipping or falling?
Will I be able to open the van door and start the van?
Will I be able to even scrape some of the 1/8-1/4 inch thick ice off
the van? (Yes, as the van heated up I was able to scrape several
windows but not before breaking the scraper off my snow brush and using
this little black plastic scraper to do it all. I stopped on the way to the church and got a new scraper at the corner gas station!
Will I be able to get enough traction to even back out of my parking spot?
Will I make it the church okay?
Will I be able to pull into the skating rink, aka - the parking lot - at the church?
Will I be able to make it from the van to the church entrance without
mishap?
Obviously, I made it, one half hour, sore shoulder later. No one is here.
The meals-on-wheels group cancelled - no meals made or delivered today and probably not tomorrow. The secretary couldn't make it in either.
Now the questions reform as I hope to make it back to the apartment for
lunch and back to the office before the next round, even nastier than this one, comes.
Ice really cripples us. The schoolchildren and teachers rejoice - no school! The elderly and frail snuggle in at home, content to stay in where it is warm and cozy and familiar. The rest of us, are out making our way slowly and gingerly through the world, at least today. Tomorrow will be another story.

2011-01-31T12:37:00.000-05:00

RGBP'S Fave Verses Friday Five:

For today's Friday Five, list your five favorite passages/verses from the Bible and tell us something about why you love them.

1. He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? (Micah 6:8)
Had to translate this passage from the Hebrew and contains such a wonderful image of faith, of what God wants, desires, expects of me.

2. Isaiah 35:3, & 8:
After my knee operation, I like that God will make firm my feeble
knees and will build a highway for God's people where not even fools
shall go astray. I find great comfort that I, as a fool, and foolish
though I am, will not go astray.

3. Psalm 149:5 "Let the faithful exult in glory; let them sing for joy
on their couches."
Mmmm...I can love and praise God even from the comfort of my couch!

4. Matt. 22:37-39:
It really doesn't get much simpler than that. That's all I need to
do with my life - Love God with all my being and love my neighbor
as myself. It's also one of the hardest things to do. Therein lies
both the blessing and the challenge.

5. Matt. 28: 20 "And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the
age."
That whether I feel Christ's presence or not, he indeed is with
me to the end. As I am nearing the end of my 51st year and will
be greeting my 52nd birthday, it's nice to know that as one age
ends and another begins, yet Christ is there! Well, that's for
fun! The great comfort is knowing Christ is with us until the
end of time. Always, ever. It's a promise that Christ keeps.

2011-01-25T18:03:00.000-05:00

ANOTHER -
Another week, another funeral, another sermon, and since it's the end of the month, another newsletter article, and another week short of a day off.
Sigh. I am funeraled out. Just two this month. But trying to figure out what to say that I haven't already said or finding yet another way to say it. I am tired and weary.
I will be sore as I had to get a couple moles removed and one in a tender spot.
Maybe, I should call it a day and begin anew and afresh in God's mercy and grace tomorrow.
Sounds like a plan to me!

2011-01-24T12:51:00.000-05:00

Ever Notice -
that once your car has been in an accident and repaired, it's just not the
same it was before? Maybe the differences are really noticeable or more
perhaps, more subtle. But, somehow you sense, see, feel, it is just not
as it was before.
or
when you have your computer cleaned and you have to re-enter short-
cuts, favorite places and a whole of host of other things, and it
is different than it was before.
or
after some surgeries, although you are better and good to go, you
may not be back to "normal" and you are or feel different. Then you
begin a new normal.
I wonder how different I will be, what my new normal will be like after this dark night ends. I do not know. But I do know that I can trust God and however, this may unfold, God will be there as always and will guide me. As silent as God now is, I know God is still there and holding me in God's care. May the light of Epiphany illumine my way and be the tiny glow in the deep dark.

2011-01-22T12:01:00.000-05:00

RGBP'S FRIDAY FIVE - BOOKS!

So tell us what you're reading, what you would and would not recommend--five books or authors! And if you don't want to do that freestyle, here are some questions:

1. What books have you recently read? Tell us your opinion of them.
Gunilla Norris' The Mystical Garden. Lovely little book that looks at
gardening and compares it to the garden of our soul. Still in process
of reading The Elegance of the Hedgehog.

2. What books are awaiting your available time to be read?
Paradoxology by Miriam Therese Winter, Fields of Compassion by Judy Cannato, Roots and Wings by Margaret Silf

3. Have any books been recently recommended?
Nope, just the ones that have caught my interest.

4. What genre of books are your favorite, along with some titles and/or authors you like best?
I really liked Jan Karon's The Mitford Series. I have enjoyed and
am awaiting the next installment of the Ladies No. 1 Detective Agency
series by Alexander McCall Smith. I enjoy novels that aren't
depressing (to balance the tragedy we deal with in ministry) and are
uplifting and easy reads, since I read much ministry related items.
5. What have you read lately that you have a strong urge to recommend? (or to condemn?)
See above. Plus, Living with Purpose in A Worn-Out Body by Missy
Buchanon,a devotional for older folks.

2011-01-22T11:48:00.000-05:00

FIRE ALARM
Thankfully, there was no fire at the church. The men, who were renovating the women's restroom downstairs, were power-sawing trim (door frame, chair rails and new windowsill) and the dust caused the fire alarm to go off.
We had to call the Fire Department to cancel the call and the secretary looked up the code to the fire alarm box. The noisey alarm was annoying, but we were grateful that it was merely the wood dust and not a fire.
It was so cold yesterday (today and tomorrow as well) that the funeral home cancelled going to the cemetery for the committal which I did in the funeral home. The luncheon had to be served sooner at the church but it all came together beautifully. The luncheon was planned for 60 and there were only about 30. I am sure the cold weather and 4-5 inches of snowfall the day and night before, kept some folks away.
All's well that ends well.

2011-01-20T10:02:00.000-05:00

WHERE I'VE BEEN -
Right here, preparing for yet another funeral, annual report, annual congregational prayers and remarks and being without a computer for two days. Yes, it had to get debugged. It froze up and that as they say was that. Right at the end of my funeral sermon that I was at the point of saving. Thank you very much! Had to rewrite the whole thing and it turned out somewhat different than the first.
Nothing more infuriating. It put me out for a couple hours afterward. Although, the men are working on renovating the women's restroom downstairs, there was nothing to demolish. That had all ready been done. More's the pity!!! I was ready to bash something in or pound something.
As it was, I eventually went to lunch and then worked on Sunday's sermon and made a visit. I didn't work on the funeral sermon again until the next morning. By then I was calm and ready to tackle it once more.
The funeral will be tomorrow, my day off. It figures. And it will take the whole day. A snowstorm is expected this afternoon and tonight with a few inches and bitterly cold. I'll have to leave home earlier tomorrow morning, calling hours are from noon to 1 pm, the service at 1 pm with the committal and luncheon afterwards. I probably won't stay at the luncheon for long but it will be about 4 pm by the time I get home and I may have to leave around 10 am that morning.
Will be back in town, Sat. evening for Sunday service with annual meeting, so a longer day Sunday as well.
The consolation is that I can leave early today, run to the grocery store, fill up the gas tank, do some laundry, and get my hair cut. Hope I can squeeze it all in this afternoon.
The other consolation is that we had a good Session meeting yesterday evening. The PNC is hard at work and it probably won't be long until they find their new pastor.
Time to update my dossier - just not this hectic weekend.
The fire alarm just started beeping....gotta go!

2011-01-13T11:44:00.000-05:00

It Was To Be -
a week of meetings, all of which were cancelled due to snow and the hazardous roads. Perhaps, in this part of the country, we get use to having to cancel a meeting due to snowy conditions or roads. All the committee members are giving a sigh of relief, that they get a night in that they hadn't planned. The church will not come to a grinding halt because the committees didn't meet this month. We will keep on functioning and pick up and go on.
I was able to make dinner rather than just microwave a frozen dinner. Finally, ate that frozen pork chop and fish. Kind of normal and nice.
So, my schedule changed from what was to be to what it became and it was good, all right, okay. Some things are not worth fighting.
Perhaps, this dark night was also to be and not worth fighting, but living into it, seeing the goodness of it, and still being thankful. It has been such a struggle. But I haven't come to a grinding halt and will keep on functioning and go on. I would like it to be so different, mind you. However, I will continue to be taught, to learn from this dark night.
I will keep reading, praying, trusting even when it runs as thin as fiber optic strands.
It was to be -